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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect posters to read the OP’s updates before replying?

55 replies

RupertTheBlackCat · 14/03/2026 07:49

The reason for my title is that I'm getting increasingly frustrated with posters who clearly have not read all the preceding posts by the original author of the thread. There is a recent one about Mothering Sunday that is a classic example - the poor (and extremely patient!) OP is having to repeat the same points over and over and over and over..... again, simply because contributors have not read all her posts.

Now, I entirely appreciate that it's not always possible to read every post on a thread - of course not! - but surely it's possible (and, I would say, essential) to read every post by the initiator of the subject before making a response.

So, AIBU? Or is it okay to just launch in without reference to the opening poster's actual situation?

OP posts:
Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/03/2026 08:44

InterestedDad37 · 14/03/2026 08:36

I haven't rtft, but the mothering Sunday one is just like this. I bet nobody has mentioned this, so I'm confident in posting it without even bothering to have a look 😉

🤣😂🤣

Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/03/2026 08:39

HoppityBun · 14/03/2026 08:10

Depends how long the thread is. It seems reasonable to me to read the top and the tail, if it a long thread with loads of pages. Even if it’s a short one, it’s easy to miss a particular reply and inadvertently duplicate.

It's easy enough to use the filter button to read only the OP's updates though. In fact, the longer the thread, the more likely it is that what you want to say or ask has already been dealt with in replies by the OP. You don't need to read every single post.

InterestedDad37 · 14/03/2026 08:36

I haven't rtft, but the mothering Sunday one is just like this. I bet nobody has mentioned this, so I'm confident in posting it without even bothering to have a look 😉

Springisspringingnow · 14/03/2026 08:35

HoppityBun · 14/03/2026 08:10

Depends how long the thread is. It seems reasonable to me to read the top and the tail, if it a long thread with loads of pages. Even if it’s a short one, it’s easy to miss a particular reply and inadvertently duplicate.

The problem isn't duplicate advice. There is absolutely no requirement to read every post on a thread before commenting. But posters should read all the OP's posts. It's easy enough to do it by pressing the See All option at the bottom of their opening post.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 14/03/2026 08:35

Macaroni46 · 14/03/2026 08:25

I also hate when people quote the opening post - just why?

I think this is part of the same problem. If people are quoting the op a way down the thread, you can guarantee that that is all they have read. It's annoying but easy to skip over.

OhFeyreDarling · 14/03/2026 08:32

Definitely NBU, it's so annoying. If I find a thread and the OP is interesting I tend to just read the OPs posts and not bother with other posters replies, that gets a tad annoying when the OP won't quote a poster they're replying to though

EmpressaurusKitty · 14/03/2026 08:29

YANBU, but some people are stupid or lazy.

WhereIsMyLight · 14/03/2026 08:27

The problem with a big thread is everyone just wants a share of the action. They see a thread has 500 posts and thinks there’s something juicy in there, jump in with a cancel the cheque and don’t ever read the OP or the rest of the thread. They’ve been part of it, stuck their elbow in, they don’t need to actually contribute to the answer.

I know any thread over 100 posts in AIBU is likely to be 80 repeats of the same posts and only 20 posts of reasonable questions and answers from the OP. Sometimes I can sift through the shit and find the tiny percentage of useful posts but sometimes I just can’t be arsed to even read those big threads now.

SpringWithWinterWeather · 14/03/2026 08:27

AlcoholicAntibiotic · 14/03/2026 08:04

YANBU but an increasing number of posters don’t even seem able to read the entire OP, let alone any updates.

Indeed.

Then they jump in with random comments unrelated to what has been said. Or completely misunderstanding what OP said and 'go off on one'.

Coconutter24 · 14/03/2026 08:26

RupertTheBlackCat · 14/03/2026 08:12

My apologies - I genuinely haven't seen any other threads on this subject!

Show quote history

I’ve seen quite a few. I do totally agree with you though because the conversation just keeps going back to the original post when (if you follow the conversation) it has moved on

Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar · 14/03/2026 08:26

I always read all the OP's posts. It's automatic now. I open a thread and click "see all" then read them all before commenting.

It's honestly just lazy not to.

It can be amusing though. Anyone remember that thread with the landlady looking for advice and everyone was telling her she MUST DO GAS SAFETY CHECKS even though she repeatedly explained the property had no gas 🤣

ChinaPlates · 14/03/2026 08:25

There’s always threads about this and you are right it is irritating. People coming on after three hundred posts and saying the same thing.

Worse are the ones that start off about some inconsequential issue and then move on to something like domestic violence and people are posting on a long thread about the first post when it’s moved on.

Macaroni46 · 14/03/2026 08:25

I also hate when people quote the opening post - just why?

Macaroni46 · 14/03/2026 08:23

HoppityBun · 14/03/2026 08:10

Depends how long the thread is. It seems reasonable to me to read the top and the tail, if it a long thread with loads of pages. Even if it’s a short one, it’s easy to miss a particular reply and inadvertently duplicate.

Just use the filter option!

donatellasfoot · 14/03/2026 08:19

Can someone link to the Mothering Sunday one? I need to read it now.
(and YANBU, OP!)

Anewerforest · 14/03/2026 08:19

YANU to WANT people to read all the OP's updates, but YABU to EXPECT it of everyone on a huge public forum.
However, IMHO there are some threads so inconsequential that it doesn't matter. Eg a long thread a while back about how to pronounce 'forehead'.
And come to think of it, there are threads where OP has posted at length many times repeating her original points; it's not realistic to expect everyone to read it all with great care.

Shakshuka4ever · 14/03/2026 08:17

Reading updates? At leaat half on MN doesn't even bother reading past title.

Re too many posts. People can just filter OP's🤷 it's a great function but seems rarely used.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 14/03/2026 08:13

If it's a long thread it's vanishingly unlikely that the obvious points haven't already been made, so why bother to post? If it's a short thread it's easy to skim through and at a minimum look for the OP's posts. So many people glance at the title, reply to what they think it says (not necessarily what it actually says) and go on their way. If taken to task, they tell the rest of us that they are far too busy (and by implication, important) to waste time reading what's in front of their eyes. Not too busy to add their pointless pearls of wisdom, though!

Anewerforest · 14/03/2026 08:12

Sskka · 14/03/2026 08:01

Have you read the Mothering Sunday one? It’s like this.

Ha, very good.

Original poster
RupertTheBlackCat · 14/03/2026 08:12

Coconutter24 · 14/03/2026 08:04

We know it’s annoying, judging by the repeat of exact threads like this that are on MN 🤦‍♀️

My apologies - I genuinely haven't seen any other threads on this subject!

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 14/03/2026 08:10

Depends how long the thread is. It seems reasonable to me to read the top and the tail, if it a long thread with loads of pages. Even if it’s a short one, it’s easy to miss a particular reply and inadvertently duplicate.

MaryBeardsShoes · 14/03/2026 08:06

It is annoying but I have to admit I’ve done this a couple of times recently due to my phone not loading threads properly.

Coconutter24 · 14/03/2026 08:04

We know it’s annoying, judging by the repeat of exact threads like this that are on MN 🤦‍♀️

AlcoholicAntibiotic · 14/03/2026 08:04

YANBU but an increasing number of posters don’t even seem able to read the entire OP, let alone any updates.

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