to keep him off school some days at the moment

OP, this isn’t going to get any easier. You’re going to be doing the school run with at least one child in a buggy for another 3 years - and if your 2 year old turns out to have a disability that affects his mobility, you could be doing it with a wherelchair too. If you can’t drive and can’t learn to drive, the only solution is to move closer to school. You say you can’t afford to - I do understand, but the situation is just not going to work long term. There must be an area you can afford to move to that is close to a school, even if it’s not the current school.

So when does the child socialise? If she can't get him to school I imagine she isn't taking them to toddler groups etc either.

The thing is you have multiple children and must know that school is a compulsory requirement - you have disabilities but continue to have children and that comes with certain responsibilities - so yes you need to grit your teeth and have a chaotic morning and afternoon on the bus to get them there or get your partner to arrange a taxi some mornings to take the pressure off

Is there maybe another parent you can get in touch with to take them 1-2 days a week - offer to pay for gas or whatever.

Maybe contact the bus company and explain the disability buggy and why it cannot be folded. Ask if they can provide a tag and paperwork.

Ask the school and council if there is any assistance available to get to school.

It isn’t an acceptable reason to keep him off school. You seem to have resigned yourself to doing something that isn’t even an option.

Exactly - and should the council pay when there are other solutions? OP’s DH, the child’s actual parent, could change his hours at work so he can drop off, or the child could go to breakfast club - but these are dismissed in favour of relying on the no doubt overstretched council budget. Surely OP and her DH need to take responsibility for getting their own child to school.

I am sorry that seems very difficult for you , especially with your youngest being such a young baby .

i am not sure if the nature of your mobility means that for example lack of sleep will make everything worse as well . Even if not , I suspect that you won’t be getting lots of sleep at this stage and your ability to cope with even minor issues ( which this is clearly not) will be diminished .

Others have come up with suggestions and here are my thoughts ;

1. in the short term , could you ask a local parent who may be making a similar journey by car to take your eldest at least to school for the start of the day ? They may not want to be tied down to both ways . Do you do both journeys - or is your DH / DP able to help with the home journey . Is there a class WhatsApp group to ask ?
2. I would plan to contact adults services asap to see if they can help with pushing the education department to provide transport for Ds1 . Council budgets are tight and this may take some time . The sooner you start, the sooner you get this hopefully resolved . It may be that they are able to provide financial assistance or transport / to from school . Is there a more suitable pram travel system to meet your needs ?

I swear I’ve read this post before!!! And as hard as this sounds you’re going to have to get on with it. It’s tough I know, but you chose this. He has to go to school.

Ah gross
From what op said it sounds like she has a disability. And that she might have at least two eligible needs.
My hope is that she can get some support with getting the kids to school.

These kids are SO close in age, I feel sorry for them as clearly they are suffering the effects of this early on. Op did you not consider any of this before having all these kids?

Which children don't need at 4. School starting age in the UK isn't related to child development therefore isn't about what is best for children. It is, and always has been, in place for commercial benefit, dating back to its introduction in the 1870 Education Act. With that in mind, why is the answer to keep making the journey?

And as to the 'huge response', let's remember that it's not quantity but quality of data that counts when drawing inferences to action effective change. Just because everyone says it, doesn't make it right.

I appreciate this hasn’t been your experience but I’m not sure why you’re so incredulous it could have been anyone else’s? I did ‘mothers help’ jobs as a teenager, and know several families who use a similar system and some whose teenagers are the helpers. It’s really not earth-shattering? I have no clue if it’s possible for the OP but it’s neither extraordinary nor ridiculous.

I think suggestions to home educate here are extremely misguided.

We used to take another kid to school with ours because his younger sibling was undergoing treatment that suppressed her immune system and made her vomit a lot. We didn’t actually know the family well, they just needed a hand. There will be a local parent who may be willing to help.

You just can't get a mobility car....

I’d investigate wrap around care and have dad drop off. Mine never particularly loved it, but went 3 x week whole of primary as I had a job. Your son will adapt. Rather that than this situation and will help you out a lot. Or do that 3 x a week; and wrap around twice a week.

Alternatively you can home educate for a while. At 4 its not going to take hours every day. I’d go with part time wrap around, and bus other 2 days. It does sound particularly difficult for you. You need some help.

What do you do with the younger two all day. If you won't walk, catch the bus or drive, then are they just at home all day? In which case getting the eldest out to school for exercise (to strengthen him, which will help with walking(, socialising and learning is even more critical, if the alternative is sitting at home.

To be fair to OP, I'd say this is above the normal demands of parenting considering most children aren't disabled.

Because it's lots of different people. In a different environment. Doing different things. With different ideas. They get a chance to practice speaking to strangers, answering questions, choosing things, trying to do more things for themselves etc.
This clearly isn't about the OPs views on different ways to educate her child and is instead about wanting out of a admittedly difficult sounding chore.
The answer is to keep making the journey. The op doesn't want to do it but she can and does lots of days already so she needs to just keep at it. Hopefully the huge response not giving her the validation she wanted will give her the push to not just sack it off.

I would second a new pip application and a dla application for your child. Check in with citizens advice for help with this. Also there is scope for the local authority to assist with transport when the parent is disabled. You would need to talk to school transport initially and you may need to appeal gather medical evidence and perhaps enlist the help of your local councillor. I appreciate all of this is hard work on top of everything else you are doing but I think it’s worth a try if not now at some point because it sounds like the needs of your second child are only going to increase. Very best of luck

Exactly this. Been diagnosed with ADHD for 20 years and if anything I am always early and annoy everyone with having to know every detail to be over prepared to avoid any upset.

You absolutely need to figure out a new schedule to allow your child to attend school. I sympathise with how hard it may be, but you need to do what you can whether it's school clubs or help and support from your partner.

If you’re eye-rolling, you must be tired… time for bed now.
Goodnight 💋

I disagree. Children aged 4 don't need education delivered to them. They need to play. How is being in your own home worse than being 'stuck' in a classroom? Where you have much less freedom to move, express and explore freely? The OP has 3 children. This is socialising. People have very odd ideas about what education is and how it fits with the child's development.

Also, have you seen how frazzled most teachers are? I'd point you in the direction of staff turnover and teacher vacancies as an indication.

I would suggest referring yourself to adult social care for support. Be prepared for a fight, unfortunately.

So what are your suggestions as to how she does this? Given she's explained her situation. Do you have any pointers towards help she could access?