to keep him off school some days at the moment

You’re right that socialising can be widely defined. But OP’s intention is, I understand, for her child to go to school from September when he is CSA, not to home educate? If so, he will need to integrate into his class, all of whom will have been socialising with children other than a small baby and a disabled toddler for the last 12 months. It sounds as though all OP’s son is doing at home is going to the park and shops and watching TV - if that is the case he will be behind educationally and socially in Y1.

I agree with you that there are other (sometimes better) ways to learn than at school with the national curriculum, but if OP’s plan is for her child to be at school following the national curriculum in September, she owes it to him to ensure he is not behind at that stage. The easiest way to do this is to stop making excuses and actually get him to school. The alternative would be to do some home learning with him and join a couple of groups like forest school, but if doesn’t sound as though she is doing that at the moment.

How does dyspraxia mean you can’t push a buggy to school and walk the kids?

Yes I agree with this.
I know it's hard, pull in all and every bit of help you can but your oldest boy deserves to get his full schooling.

Have you tried discussing all this with the education authority? I'm wondering if you would qualify for school transport.

The child’s father needs to step up. This is too much to be dealing with as one parent. Where is he and why is he letting you struggle alone with this?

Coping includes being able to take school aged kids to school every day. You need to work out a plan that results in your son being in school every day, as the situation won’t miraculously change next year. That might be breakfast club, taken by your husband, with him actually eating breakfast at home before they leave.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/588099181/treat-as-wheelchair-sign-disabled-buggy

buggy tag and if you have further problems, complain to the bus company.

By September child 3 will be more robust and you'll have a better routine, don't beat yourself up, just keep reading to child 1 and doing all the basic reception work you miss. If you're struggling to give time to child one, have you ever thought of referring yourself to Home-Start? Im a volunteer of several years and definitely have helped mum's who haven't had family around, through those early year's of trying to keep the balls in the air...we help loads of mum in all sorts of situations. Look up Home-Start or ask your health visitor. There are lots of us out here happy to help, good luck x

His siblings are other children. That is socialising. I'm not sure what there is to not understand here? He doesn't live in a vacuum, he will be interacting with people all the time. Your focus is very narrow for what socialising means. It doesn't need to be children who have a birthday within 12 months of their own. Interacting with grandparents, the postman, baby sibling is all social. Not all children are playing cooperatively by 4, it is often still parallel so isn't as big an issue as you seem to think. Neurological development means at 4 they aren't fully capable of turn taking and sharing. Forcing that doesn't work, you have to wait, usually until 5. They don't learn it by observing before that.

It is how is works in a mainstream classroom.

I didn't say mainstream education was the best place for all children, but OP is not home educating. In fact, it sounds like her hands are very full with a disabled 2 yo and a newborn. I highly doubt there's much learning of anything going on at home and certainly no valuable socialising.

You keep banging on about mainstream education and the national curriculum and how it's possible to learn at home, yes it is, but OP has not chosen home Ed, she's chosen school.

Research indicates that even children starting in Reception without having been to nursery are behind and many don't catch up.

Could you ask the school if there is transport options that could help you. You might qualify for a taxi to & from the school. Worth an ask. Hope life eases for you.

Or could the council assist with a taxi to school for the 4 year old? If they have SEN needs this is something you can look into I believe

No need to do any kind of formal education yet. That would solve the bus issue straight off. Stay at home and look after the children. And that is OPs main issue right now.

Not my opinion, it's research that says school is not the best place for a 4 year old. Too late for OP but someone else may become aware that they don't have to do this and can use childcare hours instead if that helps. Sorry that the OP didn't seem to realise this was an option.

September is 6 months off and OP is asking for advice to help sort this. Other's have mentioned help that can be attained due to the middle child's disability, something which they may have had no idea about the extent of when applying for older child's school place almost a year and a half ago. This is a huge factor for the family and if the school know and are not trying to help the OP I would be looking for another school. Not a nurturing environment and a huge red flag. Refusing to farm out a toddler for even more hours a day to a breakfast club looks like good parenting to me.

She hasn't said that her child doesn't want to go to school, either, only that she struggles with the bus journey,
It wouldn't be for his benefit if she pulls him out of school.
If you have kids, can't drive, struggle to walk far, public transport is a nightmare and your partner won't help, you need to live very close to the school, shops, doctors etc. Even with non disabled kids. That's obvious. They have had nearly 5 years to plan for this.

This is possibly true and all good and well at reception but you are ignoring the fact that the OP and her husband seem to have neither the infrastructure or the resilience to cope with education in the wider sense.

You can argue the toss about what counts as education and when a child should start school. But there will come a point where its essential that these children are either sent to school regularly or properly home educated.

The OP hasn’t been able to cope with managing taking one of her three children to school on the bus and the husband seems absolutely useless or possibly abusive. She needs to get some structure in place to enable her either to get them to school or to home educate them. Refusing to try breakfast club because of a vague sense that her oldest child won’t like the food points to someone who lacks either the resilience or the organisational skills, or who doesn’t have the support, to manage this.

You’re entitled to your opinion on mainstream education but you are glossing over some of the more worrying aspects of this post, that the OP is vulnerable and struggling and needs some intervention.

Edited- duplicate post

You mentioned your MIL - would she be able to look after your DS2 while you do the school run with DS1 and the baby? Even if she could only do a couple of days a week, that would be helpful.

Their attendance is in the low 80% this is my primary children..my secondary school kids their attendance is almost 100%. Bad attendance has never negatively impacted my children. All I'm ever told at parents evenings is how they are top % in every subject and a pleasure to have in the classroom so clearly isn't holding them back. I'm lucky to be a stay at home parent and I love keeping them home. I'd have happily kept them home but they all the choice to attend from 6 and wanted to. My teens school is far as well but they're happy to bike/ scoot in with their friends. Being lax with their attendance in primary hasn't given them a bad ethic for attendance later on. The opposite actually.
School isn't a one size fits all and education doesn't just happen in the classroom.

Does it sounds to you like he socialises with other children? Sounds like it is literally his siblings. Children don't have to be forced to be friends etc but they be close and watch them and learn things.

Yes exactly my thoughts too

So socialising, generally? Which doesn't exclusively happen in reception? Which happens in nursery, the family, the park, the library music session, the shop, on the bus. Everywhere where there are other people is a social environment. But secure attachment comes first and is an important precursor to wider social skills. Confidence has been shown to be higher in children who start school later and anxiety higher in those starting earlier. Forcing socialisation before a child is ready isn't necessary. I don't specialise in autism so don't know if you have specific advice you are following but the OP didn't mention that her child is autistic.

So how often do you kids attend if you don't want to walk in the rain? My kids go and walk to school in rain. Education is important.

It’s not wrong. Do you work in a school? The op has chosen to send their child to school.

Children who are behind age related expectations in school can suffer with low self worth as they naturally compare themselves with the rest of their class.

It’s all very well talking about research but the reality of life in a classroom is very different. You’re not helping the op suggesting otherwise.

So they can learn how to behave with others. My autistic four year old is a bit too pushy so he is being taught what he should or shouldn't do in his preschool nursery.

'Support to catch up'. No that's wrong. Check out the research