to keep him off school some days at the moment

Can you inform the bus company that your buggy is a wheelchair so please make your staff aware? You need to grow a back bone and get your child to school.

Honestly OP I am appalled at all of your excuses. It sounds difficult but he has a right to an education. You can’t send children back obviously but you must’ve thought about the logistics of children before having 3 in quick succession? I found parenting harder than others seem to, so I stopped at 1 child.

Definitely speak to the school. I don't know if this has been mentioned but could your DH drop DC at breakfast club before work?

Edited as I can see you've already covered breakfast club.

Also I think you sound amazing to have tried it for as long as you have done ! And if you do decide you want him to be in school before he’s compulsory school age - as in this academic year I would tell the school and your MP that you NEED help and get them to tell you what you are entitled to!

You can apply for dla for ds2 when he is 3. Can you apply for pip for you? Could you taxi there and bus home in the morning?

Dyspraxia does not preclude you driving. I’m severely dyspraxic and have driven since I was 17. It’s not easy but it needs to be a priority. Learn auto, it’s easier. Your son needs to go to school & you need to sort it

The kids who’s parents saw school as optional went on to see school as optional.

You keep making more and more excuses for why every suggestion is untenable.

You have a SEN buggy that meets your middle child’s needs. You say that bus drivers see it as just a normal buggy and ask you to fold it, so say no. Tell them it’s a disability buggy and he can’t be taken out of it and it can’t be folded.

If the bus is often full then get an earlier bus or have a conversation with the school and agree that you’ll get a later bus that’s less popular, getting him to school 30 minutes late is better than not at all.

You are showing him that his education is not important every time you decide to bin off school.

Yabvu

You knee this was an issue and you made life choices that you cannot now change.

Ultimately ds1 needs to be in school so you need to stop making excuses and start working on solutions. I know that sounds harsh and I am not unsympathetic but you are failing to acknowledge that you have a legal obligation from September to have him in school every day so you cannot keep opting to not show up with him.

given the gov says school or home education is compulsory the September after they turn 5 then I can’t see how it’s neglectful to comply with that.

that would mean notifying the school of your intention for him to start the September after he starts five if that’s your intention

in the meantime you can enjoy your children being together and contact your local authority and MP to ask for support in readiness for if you decide to put him back into school when he reaches compulsory school age / or home educate.

all of the above is legally your right.

I agree. Almost looking for validation to not bother, rather than solutions focused. I would be moving heaven and earth.

what about moving house?

you have made your own choices to have children, and those children have a right to education.

I would recheck the distance to school. Even if it is only 1.9miles, so within the statutory walking distance, if DS1 can’t reasonably be expected to walk that because of his hypermobility, transport can still be provided. While the LA doesn’t have the same duty to provide transport to DC below CSA, they can provide it.

You need to move heaven and earth to get your school-aged child to school. If not you are setting them up for failure. You cannot continue as present. Sorry this sounds harsh, especially given your challenging circumstances, but it is true.

Everyone saying the council need to pay. What about when the other kids go? Should the council help there too?

OP you need to move nearer the school, use taxis, get DP involved properly or suck it up on the bus. Sorry but you have to take your child to school!

You will need to sort it for next year anyway so you might as well tackle it now. DS2 is not going to be walking 4 miles each way by Sept.

Can DS2 go to preschool/nursery somewhere closer to home?

Appeal transport on medical grounds. Re-apply for PIP. Talk to school, they may be able to help or twist someone's arm to help you.

Failing these, or in the meantime, I think your best bet is going to be a patchwork solution. 10 trips a week. Taxi 3 trips, bus 4 trips, DH changes work hours to do 3 trips or something. I know taxi sounds expensive but it'll be a bit cheaper if it's a regular booking, it shouldn't cost that much for a 2 mile journey and long term you do need a way to get your eldest to school. A handful of taxis a week on a regular booking for a 2 mile journey could easily cost less than the depreciation, insurance, servicing, petrol etc cost of keeping a car running.

What supports have you already tried and reached out to?

It is not right to that your oldest child should be denied the right to schooling and it's social opportunities. You either need to get on with it, move schools, get PIP to enable taxis if your disability is substantial enough for it to be a barrier or your husband figure it out with his work/swap job.

It’s also not going to be any different next year. OP can’t drive or walk and the bus is difficult, nothing will be easier next year. They need a sustainable solution.

I’m sorry things are so hard at the moment. OP does your dyspraxia prevent you cycling? You could get a combination of seats plus an attached bike at the back so that DS1 can pedal too and is ‘biking to school’. If too tiring maybe even an e-bike…?!

Yes there are risks to this but remember there are risks to missing opportunities too, and not just for DS1.

He might mainly be there to play but the OP is legally obliged to get him there, once he turns 5. None of the problems the OP has described will magically disappear any time soon so what is the solution when he’s 5, or 6, or 7?

How many days has he missed?

Those saying to take it easy as he's in reception, I think reception is vital for them.
phonics, reading, numbers, the skills he is going to really need to manage in year 1

I think you should consider a taxi in the morning or an Uber.

Can you get a new buggy which is easier to manage? City mini jogger will fit a tall, big child. And just not let the tuts, eye rolls etc stop you from getting the bus? In your shoes I would get up earlier to catch a less busy bus or allow for one passing with no space. I would treat getting to school as non-negotiable, honestly, but in saying that I don’t mean that it’s easy.

A two mile taxi journey would be around a tenner here! And that's just one way!

I don't mean this unkindly, because I can hear things are tough.
But school is not optional.

It isn't.

But all your posts are as if it is.
You have choice and agency.
Your children have a legal right to education
I can hear it's hard.
And I'm sorry