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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to suggest deciding later on holiday plans two weeks postpartum?

40 replies

NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:23

AIBU to suggest my brother in law’s partner should come on holiday 2-4 weeks postpartum?!

My in law’s are going aboard in the summer holidays and my BIL and his partner will have a baby 2-4 weeks before.

I’ve said to see how she feels as she suffers from prenatal anxiety, will be a first time mum, and it’s all a big adjustment the first time around (I have two of my own).

When I mentioned this tonight, I’ve been told I’m being ridiculous and it’s actually easier being with family in those first few weeks.

I agree with that statement, but the holiday is in France and they are planning to drive. It will be a 3 hour car journey, but a week away with 4 other grandchildren.

AIBU to suggest to consider it closer to the time?! Feel like I’m the only one being sensible, especially as she’s high risk for PNDD.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:42

Wetdoggo · 13/03/2026 19:38

But if you continue to push it you’ll just piss them off because it’s literally none of your business.

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It is my business as I’ll be on holiday with them.

Also, we’ve already been picking up mental health concerns from the BIL as his partner is so anxious about the pregnancy already. Which is my concern, let’s not do anything and help prevent full blown PNDD.

OP posts:
Purplemountains · 13/03/2026 19:41

I mean this kindly, but sometimes it is better to stay out of things that don’t concern you. I’m a bit of a empath and worrier like you but at the end of the day it is up to your sister-in-law what she does post birth. Obviously, if it was you having the baby I would agree with everything you were saying but you don’t have a right to talk about how sister-in-law will be.

My baby was still in the nicu until he was almost two weeks old, I had a C-section and I can’t even imagine trying to get a passport in that time… but hey everyone’s different right?

Wetdoggo · 13/03/2026 19:38

NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:37

I think everyone is taking this the wrong way, I’m staying out of it but literally just said to them “see how you feel close to the time”.

however, I think it’s ambitious and feel quite concerned on how his partner will be postpartum as her anxiety is at an all time high, with midwives suggesting additional mental health checks, so want to support and make sure she doesn’t feel pressure to go on holiday with her in laws, when it’s not a necessity.

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But if you continue to push it you’ll just piss them off because it’s literally none of your business.

DuracellbunnyAPlus · 13/03/2026 19:38

Obviously you're right, but I'd stay out of it. She'll find out the reality of it soon enough.

Fidgety31 · 13/03/2026 19:38

She may be just fine… not all first time mums end up a neurotic mess… some just carry on with their lives ! Hopefully she will be the latter !
And I don’t think you should try to get involved tbh either .. it’ s up to them to decide .

FuckedUp7443 · 13/03/2026 19:37

NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:30

Absolutely, but AIBU to give a perspective that it could feel unreasonable to go aboard at potentially two weeks PP?

We flew to Turkey with our eldest at 11 weeks, so I’m not adverse to travelling with a young baby, but even being 4 weeks postpartum seems crazy to me. Especially as she’s high risk for PNDD, I just feel like the in laws should give her some slack and accept that it may not happen..

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YABU as she won't listen. With these kinds of women, I find the only way is to stay silent or be extremely positive. They don't want to hear the truth or receive advice.

Original poster
NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:37

Wetdoggo · 13/03/2026 19:32

It’s genuinely up to them though. It could be fine or it could be a disaster and there’s no way to know.

I would keep right out of it since it’s in laws.

Edited

I think everyone is taking this the wrong way, I’m staying out of it but literally just said to them “see how you feel close to the time”.

however, I think it’s ambitious and feel quite concerned on how his partner will be postpartum as her anxiety is at an all time high, with midwives suggesting additional mental health checks, so want to support and make sure she doesn’t feel pressure to go on holiday with her in laws, when it’s not a necessity.

OP posts:
OccasionalHope · 13/03/2026 19:35

Ludicrous, baby might be really late and not even be here.

Also can they get insurance when baby is not yet born?

FuckedUp7443 · 13/03/2026 19:35

With these kinds of people, it's best to leave it alone. She's convinced her life will not change and the baby is just a potato that sleeps all day.

I have a neighbour who insisted on going skiing with a 3 month old, to the US, in January!! So a very long flight, a long drive at the end and very high altitude resort where temps in the day were -20!! I suggested she may not enjoy that and it went down like a lead balloon.

Reader - she did go! She had an awful time. Baby woke every 90 minutes for a week. Never slept for even 2 hours at a time (was a good sleeper at home). It was so cold, she barely left the accommodation. She got altitude sickness and felt sick for the first 2 days. She did no skiing whatsoever (after spending £500 on the ski pass alone and a lot more on ski gear rental). And her and her DH were on the brink of divorce by the end of it.

Wetdoggo · 13/03/2026 19:32

It’s genuinely up to them though. It could be fine or it could be a disaster and there’s no way to know.

I would keep right out of it since it’s in laws.

Original poster
NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:30

Pineapplechunksandcream · 13/03/2026 19:27

Will they even be able to get baby registered and then get a passport in two weeks? It may not even be possible.

I have mentioned that. It took us a week to get an appointment post birth, so I’ve said this may be an issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeAsICouldBeOverReacting · 13/03/2026 19:30

Wetdoggo · 13/03/2026 19:27

It is completely up to them.

Absolutely, but AIBU to give a perspective that it could feel unreasonable to go aboard at potentially two weeks PP?

We flew to Turkey with our eldest at 11 weeks, so I’m not adverse to travelling with a young baby, but even being 4 weeks postpartum seems crazy to me. Especially as she’s high risk for PNDD, I just feel like the in laws should give her some slack and accept that it may not happen..

OP posts:
Mossstitch · 13/03/2026 19:27

Omg........I'd barely made it out of the bedroom with my first at two weeks, defo not unreasonable to say see how she feels! Plus two of mine were 10 days late🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Pineapplechunksandcream · 13/03/2026 19:27

Will they even be able to get baby registered and then get a passport in two weeks? It may not even be possible.

Wetdoggo · 13/03/2026 19:27

It is completely up to them.