Class party for few discussed on class watsapp

Lucky escape though, "nuggets"🤢

Yes OP that's weird and a bit rude. I would think the same as you and wouldn't dream of posting on the class WhatsApp if not everyone is invited.

Either that or “Fred” has been horrible to their child!

You're not wrong OP it's cruel, tacky and trashy. When I was at school my mum handed the invitation to my friends' mums at the school gate. Why can't people just do something straightforward and normal as that? All this whatsapp bullshit just complicates something that doesn't even need whatsapp or whatever it is, for.

I tried a few times. They were always busy or wouldn’t confirm attendance

I agree it’s odd and I wouldn’t ever do it. Maybe she thinks that because it’s parents, not children, on the group that it’s less of an issue?

I’d find it hurtful. I’ve had it done a few times though as DS has never been invited to any party before. I’m suspecting he’s autistic but it’s quite upsetting for the class chat on a Sunday afternoon to be suddenly pinging with “Hope Fred enjoyed the party. Sarah had a great time. Thanks for inviting her” and then you realise that the whole class went somewhere and you knew nothing about it.

Not everyone pays attention to who's who in group chats. We frequently get the is 'Fred's parent is this group?'. It's always obvious it's going to be for a birthday invite.

This is poor form. It can't be that hard to find the individual parents and make a WhatsApp group.

YANBU

it’s pretty rude and awkward plus a waste of peoples time filtering out messages that weren’t for them.

Standard practise for our school is to either message parents directly with invite or create a separate group. Zero mention on whole class group of either invites or party afterwards unless it was a whole class party

I am the parent that is very rarely at drop off or pick up therefore I find it difficult to Work out Who is the parent of each child. But to avoid any awkwardness or insensitivity, if this were me, I would message One of the parents whose child was invited and ask them to help me out with messaging other parents so that I didn’t create a tricky Situation.

Poor form I agree. On ours there is often messages like ‘is Tom’s mum on here?’ Which I assume is to then DM and arrange a play date or party. So if she didn’t know whose mum was who she could have done that.

I personally wouldn’t be offended that my child wasn’t invited BUT she doesn’t always love parties so before accepting I’d have told her she was invited. So then I would be upset because she’d be upset that she actually wasn’t invited after being told she was.

Also, some people are really thoughtless and inconsiderate as well as not very bright.

It's annoying when people use a group chat to discuss private matters. Yanbu.

Is this your first child? I think it’s often a bit of a tough one for parents with their first child to realise that after reception there are not as many all class parties, and they wonder why their kid didn’t get an invite. But for me it was a relief really as they’re quite expensive to host, and I’ve always just presumed that everyone understood that not everyone is going be invited to every party. It’s an important life lesson for kids to not always be invited to everything anyway.

I therefore wouldn’t be bothered by the messages in the class group chat to be honest. But it’s not my first rodeo!!

After this update she is unreasonable and lazy.
Just make a party group with those needed.
Still try not to let it bother you, as you said you didn't think your child was on the invite list.

Amazingly parents managed this sort of thing without WhatsApp.

Yanbu - that's quite rude of her. She could have made her own WhatsApp group for parents of children going to the party.

Definitely in this case she is unreasonable. She could have looked at the list and picked the parents she needed to message. Or, as happens at our preschool where there is no WhatsApp, and presumably before WhatsApp groups existed, assumed that if you don't get a response they're not coming. And cater for 1-2 extra just in case.

shitty mother. Who does that. Many will be feeling the same. Really embarrassing of her to do that

It is poor form if she could have easily found the individual parents' numbers and there were only 3 or 4 of them. She's made things awkward when she didn't need to.

I would agree that it is poor form.
my LO is reception and it is a two form entry so the WhatsApp is for both as the classes mingle a lot. I only invited his class and possibly three that he requested. I didn’t put anything about it on the chat, for this exact reason. The venue my son wanted could not hold the numbers, so it wasn’t malicious but I was concious of making anyone feel like that.
until one Mum decided to thank me afterwards on the chat 😆

It is BUT

The mother likely didn’t want to do it but didn’t know the parents of all invited so hand was forced

out of interest… do you have any kind of relationship with the inviting mother?