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AIBU?

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AIBU To think there is joy to be had in womanhood?

86 replies

ProudMammysHouse · 13/03/2026 17:22

Just saw this tweet by MP Rosie Duffield: https://x.com/RosieDuffield1/status/2032146070046650812

" "Joyful in their womanhood" is something no biological woman has ever said and meant, ever."

And it's just made me really sad for her. I know things aren't perfect and some parts of being a woman are downright unfair but to be this negative about it just seems like there are other issues going on with her.

Am I the only one who has ever felt beautiful, powerful and dare I say, joyful, in my womanhood?

Rosie Duffield MP (@RosieDuffield1) on X

@nyaraVT "Joyful in their womanhood" is something no biological woman has ever said and meant, ever.

https://x.com/RosieDuffield1/status/2032146070046650812

OP posts:
TiredShadows · 14/03/2026 13:25

There can be, just like there can be joyfulness in existence. However, people rarely go around saying that unless they're trying to make a point - I think that's the point of the original tweet - not that no woman has ever felt that.

But in the rest of Europe you have to admit that far more women were hunted for being healers and doing 'womanly magic'

I don't think the data follows that. Whether the focus is on women is culturally dependent. In Iceland, the vast majority were men. This is due to how the concept of magic had developed there and that the men were openly practicing what was culturally believed to be sorcery when Christianization was going on. In places where women were the target, usually there is a history of both sexes using magic, but women being more vulnerable and our emotions being viewed more likely to cause harm.

Much of the magic people who were - and are - accused of being witches isn't healing. It is rarely but being accused of cursing someone is far more likely. In the documentation we have of those accused, many themselves had the belief that their ill thoughts may have harmed another. That was and still in some places a common believe - it's often how evil eye and similar work - and in many places, women's emotions are culturally more connected to that whether it's envy and/or rage cursing people or our lusts seducing them.

Within Europe's history, there are also accusations and open practice that was beneficial, but not healing - blessings over land that included reference to the sun and winds, but not to Jesus was enough to get people accused and killed, and we have the documentation of people admitting to that as it was a practice that had been handed down to them. We have men who were accused and admitted to being werewolves, these were sincere beliefs people had, not just others hunting them.

The idea women were being hunted down as 'healers' or 'womanly magic' is a modern myth that like many twists some truths into a new tale that is meant in be empowering - and some may find it does - I see it as erasing. Yes, women were pushed out of healing practices as it became medicalised - it wasn't because were were 'so good', it was because wealthy men in power thought very little of those practices, viewed them as scams compared to what they could do even when what they were doing killed people.

Your Russia comparison isn't true at all. Just look at the Irish who live abroad, especially the Irish Americans and see how proud feel about being Irish. It is an ethnicity, that's why on forms it says White Irish and White British as options.

Those are options on British and Irish forms. You won't see them most other places. For Irish Americans, they'd fall under 'White' or the incredibly inaccurate 'Caucasian'. Forms don't define ethnic groups, they're descriptive of the groups those making the forms view to be relevant. On forms, I'm either Mixed or Mixed Other - it's not something I'm proud of, it's just how I'd describe my ethnicity.

Some Irish abroad are proud, some don't care, it used to be common to hide Irish heritage as it was looked down on, things changed. Now, those who are proud are going to be a lot louder, that doesn't mean they're the only ones that exist. With Irish Americans - far more claim it now than actually have it, and their idea of being Irish is through an American lens of the idea of the underdog with little connection to reality in Ireland. It's true of many underdog heritages within the US at the moment - families pass down the idea of it and it's not always accurate as there have been many cultural shifts of 'acceptable' heritages throughout US history and people changed their family stories to suit. It's not innate.

I'm an immigrant to the UK, my children have no connection to my birth country - I didn't pass on my citizenship, they've never been as I haven't been back, I intentionally continued with very few traditions I was raised with and those I did are not specific to my birth country. I prefer being seen as, and having my kids seen as, British, I want them to connect with and find joy where we are. They are aware of their family history, that it has quite a few gaps because of immigration and people distancing themselves from groups that were despised - it's understanding, not pride.

For some, that Russian comparison is very true. You not seeing it for some of us is the point, but you shouldn't dismiss those of us like that exist.

RosesAndHellebores · 14/03/2026 13:07

I have always loved being a woman and wouldn't swap. I've always found it a privilege and I had babies and felt the visceral need for them and the strengthnof maternal bonds. My woman's body produced them, my woman's love nurtired them, my woman's brain helped educate them and my woman's ambition and graft brought me professional success and money.

itsthetea · 14/03/2026 13:03

The worst of our culture ca come from other women as much as men and you are lucky of you have never experienced that

ProfessorBinturong · 14/03/2026 12:59

I feel a connection with other females which springs from shared experiences of the worst of our culture at the hands of men.

Hmm. I do understand that but it's hardly a good thing, is it? People from oppressed groups or those who have suffered horrific experiences often feel a sense of connection with others who can truly understand and empathise with their experience - but that doesn’t make the oppression or bad experience a good thing.

SisterTeatime · 14/03/2026 11:40

It’s just nuts though isn’t it, that the people most likely to talk about ‘joy in womanhood’ are men. so I agree with Rosie Duffield.

Actual women can feel however we like about the hugely varied experience of our lives as well as those experiences linked to our female biology, many - but not all - of which we share.

I don’t mind being a woman, there’s nothing I can do about it so I accept it … it’s just reality.

shhblackbag · 14/03/2026 11:29

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 13/03/2026 18:12

I think female biology is pretty shit. Women really got the short straw biologically - not only do we have monthly menstruation, which can be devastatingly painful, we're also the ones who can be easily raped, and the ones who carry the entire load of pregnancy and birth, which is exhausting and can injure and even kill us.

And THEN, just when you're past the worst of the exhaustion of kids, the bloody perimenopause kicks you in the teeth for 5 years. When it hit me, I was like Meursault for a while, shaking my fist and cursing the unfairness of the universe.

I celebrate womanhood and love women, and would still rather be a woman than a man, but our biology is a pain in the arse.

All of this. Every word.

blankcanvas3 · 14/03/2026 11:27

There’s absolutely joy in womanhood, but I don’t think any of it is to do with the female biology (apart from feeling your baby kick maybe?). But women who’ve never had children still can find joy in womanhood. I love being a woman. I love my female friendships, I love going into the toilets in a bar and being best friends with another woman in there for five minutes. I love dressing up and spending a couple of hours getting ready. I love being a mum. I love my relationship with my dad as his only daughter.

CommonFishDiseases · 14/03/2026 11:21

This is a fascinating thread. I love being a woman for so many reasons (biological and social). I feel joy in that, yes. I would never want to be a man. I am aware of my relative privilege, but I have also found joy in elements of suffering associated with being a woman. I can hold this simultaneously with an acute awareness of the oppression women face globally and constantly.

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 14/03/2026 10:36

jeaux90 · 13/03/2026 23:28

Her point is no woman has ever said it. And I agree. There is no joy in being the sex class where 2 of us die every week at the hands of men.

Well let’s all just give up now and be miserable then!!!!

I was bullied by women growing up, I have experienced more nastiness from women m. I hate female gossips in the office and mean girls.
BUT I have met some INSANELY wonderful female mentors in my life and also some wonderful men. My male partner is my best friend. My son is a beautiful soul.

Joyful things about being a woman to me-

Being pregnant and giving birth.
My birth was really fucking hard but I felt like a warrior afterwards.
The feeling of being a mum feels like a superpower, I am now fearless when it comes to keep my child safe and would die for him.

When I was single in my late teens and 20s in the 2000s I loved dressing up and feeling feminine and making new friends and meeting men. I don’t care if that makes me shallow I had a bloody whale of a time as a woman.

Now as a woman I am enjoying my nearly 40s, wiser and not giving a fuck.

PencilsInSpace · 14/03/2026 10:24

" "Joyful in their womanhood" is something no biological woman has ever said and meant, ever."

There is joy to be found in some aspects of being a woman, e.g. female friendships and motherhood - but we don't go around proclaiming our 'joy in our womanhood'. The only time I've heard actual women saying things like that they've either been tradwives or women in the sex industry and the impression I get is not joy but desperation.

The other group of people who say they are 'joyful in their womanhood' are men and we know exactly what they mean by 'joy'.

Un-nesting the tweets, the conversation went like this:

A small account: It will forever be amazing to me that people with medical degrees got in front of a camera and said that the effects of puberty blockers on children and adolescents are fully reversible.
The horror.

JKR: And it will forever be appalling to me that a bunch of celebrities with influence over young people used their platforms to amplify unevidenced claims for the benefit of transitioning minors while smearing those urging caution as bigots.

A 'Radical Trans "Fox Girl"' with an anime avatar: You are a miserable, misogynistic woman who is envious because trans women actually “want” to live as women and are joyful about their womanhood..

so you attack not just trans women but ALL women with your patriarchal nonsense

That's what Rosie Duffield was responding to. In the middle of a conversation about the terrible harms of transing children this anime pops up to declare his 'joy' in his 'womanhood' and accuse JKR of being jealous of him.

It's glaringly male behaviour.

EwwPeople · 14/03/2026 10:22

ProudMammysHouse · 14/03/2026 09:30

Your Russia comparison isn't true at all. Just look at the Irish who live abroad, especially the Irish Americans and see how proud feel about being Irish. It is an ethnicity, that's why on forms it says White Irish and White British as options.

Wha ethnicity is white other?

EwwPeople · 14/03/2026 10:22

Additup · 14/03/2026 10:17

I agree. I'd hate to be male and all solid feeling and hairy and stinky 😂
I am straight btw and I do find men sexually attractive 😁

Biscuit
Additup · 14/03/2026 10:17

LaurieFairyCake · 13/03/2026 18:17

I LOVE being a woman, we are by far the better sex with richer lives.

I agree. I'd hate to be male and all solid feeling and hairy and stinky 😂
I am straight btw and I do find men sexually attractive 😁

Laiste · 14/03/2026 09:59

I'm love being a woman. I've never thought specifically that it ''brings me joy'' but i have always thought i do being a woman well 😊

I have no interest in arguments about what makes a woman a woman, ect. ect. I am one and i'm happy i am. I don't feel the need to compare my experience of life with that of a man's - neither is better than the other - but i wouldn't want to be a man.

I've got 4 DC and i love that they grew inside me and that i'll be there for them if they need me until the day i die. I would not want to have the capacity of having total detachment from their own children which so many men seem capable of (my x included).

I feel a connection with other females which springs from shared experiences of the worst of our culture at the hands of men. We are often treated like second class citizens but in my head i know i am NOT second to any man.

HoppityBun · 14/03/2026 09:55

Kirridge · 14/03/2026 09:54

That's because they know they have Irish ancestry. If they didn't know about, in the case of adoption, they wouldn't feel it. Therefore it is not their biology but their lived experiences of being told about Irish culture.

And the people who think they have an interesting ancestry but turn out to be merely English. Unless they can squeeze out a crucial 10% of something else.

Kirridge · 14/03/2026 09:54

ProudMammysHouse · 14/03/2026 09:30

Your Russia comparison isn't true at all. Just look at the Irish who live abroad, especially the Irish Americans and see how proud feel about being Irish. It is an ethnicity, that's why on forms it says White Irish and White British as options.

That's because they know they have Irish ancestry. If they didn't know about, in the case of adoption, they wouldn't feel it. Therefore it is not their biology but their lived experiences of being told about Irish culture.

EmpressaurusKitty · 14/03/2026 09:42

The phrase has a definite hint of gender euphoria.

I’ve met Rosie Duffield a few times. She’s a bloody amazing woman who’s a lot braver than most MPs when it comes to standing up for women’s rights.

PaintNPaper · 14/03/2026 09:37

I think the context of her tweet is important, it was a reply to this tweet - "You are a miserable, misogynistic woman who is envious because trans women actually “want” to live as women and are joyful about their womanhood.. "

Women might feel happy to be women or enjoy parts of womanhood but she's right, it's not something a woman would ever go around saying particularly. I think she's just annoyed at having womanhood 'explained' to her by men.

2026Y · 14/03/2026 09:35

ProudMammysHouse · 13/03/2026 23:29

Ethnicity is also an interesting one because being Irish does bring me joy. My culture, language and history are something I'm proud of and feel like a unique connection. Do white Brits not feel that way?

Hmm - that’s an interesting one. I don’t think I do necessarily take joy from being British, or English. I like living here and to an extent I am proud of some aspects of our society but joyful is not a word I would use to describe my nationality or ethnicity.

ProudMammysHouse · 14/03/2026 09:30

Kirridge · 14/03/2026 08:33

I think perhaps you are conflating ethnicity and culture here.
If you were born to Irish parents but adopted and raised in Russia, speaking only Russian and having barely heard of Ireland, you would not feel any joy in Irish culture. If, on the other hand, you were ethnically Russian, but raised in Ireland by Irish adoptive parents, speaking English and Gaelic, you would feel everything you have described regarding joy in your Irish culture.
So it is not your biological ethnicity which brings you joy, but the culture you grew up in.

Many people have said similar things on this thread, along the lines of liking being a woman because of their deep friendships with other women. The implication is that men are not capable of experiencing this joy, but this isn't true. I grant you that in a typical UK context it is less common. But is this not because we have raised men to be 'strong' and bury their feelings? Men can and do form these close friendships with other men; it is not exclusive to biological women. But it is easier for women to achieve because this society does not discourage women from talking about feelings. It is therefore cultural, not biological, just like the Irish example above.

The question is whether you consider womanhood to be exclusively biological, or whether you think society's current expectations/stereotypes etc are actually part of womanhood.

Your Russia comparison isn't true at all. Just look at the Irish who live abroad, especially the Irish Americans and see how proud feel about being Irish. It is an ethnicity, that's why on forms it says White Irish and White British as options.

OP posts:
Ohfuckrucksack · 14/03/2026 09:18

I think much of what has been said to be joyful about womanhood is person specific.

My husband has closer friendships with both his friends and his family than I do. I am far more aggressive than he is - these attributes spring from our different family upbringing, not our sex.

I don't fit 'womanly' stereotypes in any way.

I have children that display a range of the attributes said to be woman specific, yet they are not women.

Our values, our attributes are a mix of our evolutionary biology and genetics, our childhood nurturing experiences and the culture of the society(ies) that we have lived in.

itsthetea · 14/03/2026 09:08

I would rather be a man

i wonder if some of the different opinions stem from different personalities- the mOre your personality doesn’t fit the gender the norm the more you may have been bullied as a child and suffered the sexism of society ( disrespect at work for example because you are a female in a male role, needing to fight for equal pay, promotion, by proving each bloody time that sexism is at play ) the more likely you are to hate being a woman ?

and the worse your response to periods and hormones the more likely you are to hate being a woman ?

I am trying my best here because I can’t really understand why anyone PREFERS to be a woman - mind blowing

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 14/03/2026 09:05

I agree with PP who say my joy in womanhood is the absolute solid gratitude I'm not a man. I love being a woman. I love the aesthetic of being female, that I can be soft and strong simultaneously. I love my female friends. I love my DC and DGC and the relationships I have with them. My DH loves them as much as I do but the dynamic is totally different. I loved being pregnant and breastfeeding. I love not having the societal pressure of toxic masculine expectations. I even love that people often underestimate my intelligence - I'm a small, elderly woman so they assume I'm a moron. I love blindsiding them.

Wipeywipey · 14/03/2026 09:03

It is an odd question - joy is subjective so won't be universal to all women. I, like others on the thread, am often glad I am a woman as I feel we are the backbone of humanity. We notice and do things for our families and communities that men just don't see or want to bother with. They lose out on many connections and real humanity I suspect because of their hormonal drive to be selfish, but also the patriarchy. When we all loose our jobs to AI women will have support networks and find things to do, while a lot of men will have lost all structure.

GloiredeDijon · 14/03/2026 08:57

For all the crap we endure I would always choose to be a woman than a man.

At the same time I have frequently thought it is better to be bullied than be a bully.

Men definitely still have the advantage in society but it doesn’t mean I want to be one.

So sad that some women do want to and cut their body up and take drugs to pretend that they are.

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