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AIBU?

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Original poster

Three or four baths a week?

479 replies

christonapushbike · 13/03/2026 14:51

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

OP posts:
YourWildAmberSloth · 13/03/2026 20:11

Homes are for living in. Installing a bath that you can't afford to fill or use more than 6 times a year is ridiculous.

dottiedodah · 13/03/2026 20:08

Be grateful! Some kids don't like washing at all.she is having a little spa time that's all.dont be mean .let her have her little luxury. Some neals yard bath products. A nice shampoo. All great. Also nothing beats a bath.for monthly pains

TheignT · 13/03/2026 20:08

Catza · 13/03/2026 18:50

No, I take a short shower. I'm, sadly, not remotely in the typical MN earning bracket and I need to watch my spending. Baths are not my priority and £50 a month could be spent on things which matter more to me. It cannot be a total surprise to you that for some people water rates, gas and electricity are substantial expenses.

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Honestly the next time there's a thread about the cushy lives boomers have had I'll remember this thread. I remember the 50s when it was one bath a week and no showers. It's amazing that people can't understand that people can't afford to do just what they want to do.

4wardlooking · 13/03/2026 20:02

purpleme12 · 13/03/2026 15:00

Once every 2-3 months 😮

Why would you spend all that money installing a bath to one use it that often

I’ve a lovely deep bath, installed 5 years ago when we renovated the whole house, kids enjoy it occasionally but I’ve never been in it! I just can’t be bothered taking so long getting washed.

PolkaDotPorridge · 13/03/2026 20:00

What a miserable outlook on life OP.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 13/03/2026 20:00

CocoaTea · 13/03/2026 17:35

“OP I think you are getting it in the neck here because you are the stepmother. If you were her birth mother I imagine people would be more sympathetic.”

No.
Please don’t do this.

People are commenting directly on the issue - no one has said anything that I have seen that references the stepmum relationship.

It’s just plain stinginess. Nothing to do with being a step mum or whatever you were alluding to.

Please stop using that trope to shut down conversations where people are being clearly unreasonable - whatever their “parental status” is. It’s tired, lazy and inaccurate.

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No. Loads of people have said something along the lines of 'you clearly just don't like her''

They simply would not be saying that if it were the OP's own daughter.

Butchyrestingface · 13/03/2026 20:00

TomatoSandwiches · 13/03/2026 14:56

How old is she? Some people prefer baths to showers, is it just the cost you object to?

She was 17 last time OP moaned posted about her, just before Xmas. Smile

LBFseBrom · 13/03/2026 19:57

I have never before come across anything like this. Who on earth has a new bathroom installed as a luxury to be only used occasionally?

Let the girl enjoy her baths in peace! If you can afford to have a new bathroom, you can afford the baths.

Honestly.

allthingsinmoderation · 13/03/2026 19:53

mydogisthebest · 13/03/2026 18:22

Why would a shower take 10 minutes? I shower every day and wash my hair and my showers take 3 to 4 minutes

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Some people wash more thoroughly than others?

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 13/03/2026 19:53

You’re being ridiculous to buy a tub as a treat to use every 2-3 months, and to get annoyed at the £3.50 cost per bath and the person who wants to actually make use of it. Factoring in installation costs, what’s the cost per use over ten years if between the three of you you have a maximum of 18 baths per year, or 180 baths in total? £1000 outlay would cost £5.50 per bath plus £3.50 to fill it. £9 per bath. This is baffling logic.

TakeTheCuntingQuichePatricia · 13/03/2026 19:52

LuciferTheMorningStar · 13/03/2026 19:06

Wouldn't be happening in my house. Thank god DD hates baths just as much as I do. Don't have any stepchildren, thank fuck, I'd hate them. Someone absolutely pointlessly stewing 2 hours in water 4 times/week would drive me up the wall. Ridiculous, go do something with your time. Once a week - ok, maybe, 4 times is time wasting and would bore me to tears. 10 mins in the shower and then go do something interesting. Not mentioning clogging the bathroom pretty much every weekday for hours.

I could afford the expense easily, but I don't see the point in spending money on totally pointless bullshit. That 50 quid or whatever could be spent on books, added to some gig tix, edible treats, makeup, whatever. All better than pay to lie in fucking water for hours.

Tell her no, you pay the bills, not her.

I love long hot baths. I read while I'm in there its definitely not a waste of time, no more than sitting on the sofa and reading would be.

Theres something very soothing about water, I love swimming for the same reason.

Bristolandlazy · 13/03/2026 19:51

Accidently voted YANBU. Give the girl a break. I lived in the bath as a teenager. Sounds like you don't like her very much.

PhuckTrump · 13/03/2026 19:49

No, DSD should not be monopolising the family bathroom for hours on end.

But you really shouldn’t have married a man with children if you weren’t prepared to “allow” said children to have 3-4 baths per week,

Grapewrath · 13/03/2026 19:49

Sorry but are you Charles Dickens? It’s fucking insane to see a bath as a ‘treat’ every 3 months. WTF.
A nightly bath is very normal for people who don’t like showers. It’s less than a tenner a week- lighten up

Gnomer · 13/03/2026 19:46

There's nothing more miserable than a piddly, crappy shower. Maybe you could start using it seeing as you think it's fine and don't want it to go unused?

ClaredeBear · 13/03/2026 19:46

That’s super expensive. Is this a recent thing because I’m wondering if she’ll grow out of it.

Leopardspota · 13/03/2026 19:43

Is it a genuine financial hardship or are you being mean? One of my greatest pleasures is a long Long soak in the bath. I go in daily when I can! My husband has never used our bath, not once, he’ll occasionally use a hotel bath as a novelty, but he just doesn’t get it. He’s not depriving himself like you!

Iwanttocomebackasmycat · 13/03/2026 19:42

£3.50 for something she enjoys sounds a very reasonable cost.

likelysuspect · 13/03/2026 19:41

No one thus far has done the caluclation for gas

I refuse to believe it costs 3.50 a go.

Blisteringlycold · 13/03/2026 19:39

SunshineAndSandalsMakeMeHappy · 13/03/2026 16:07

I have an admission to make, not only do I have a bath every night but we have a tv in the bathroom AND I’m partial to a Lush bath bomb. I’ll get my coat and leave the thread now.

Goodbye and good riddance I say 😂

Dimpledaisies · 13/03/2026 19:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ.

elfendom1 · 13/03/2026 19:34

She really shouldn't have the ensuite if she is hogging the family bathroom for hours several times a week. Nothing more annoying than someone wallowing for 2 hours, steaming up the bathroom, condensation everywhere.

Arcticbattle32 · 13/03/2026 19:34

Why would you put in a bath if you’re only planning to use it 4-6 times a year? If you are struggling financially, fine…. But otherwise you’re being mean to her. I’m glad you’re not my stepmother! My daughter and I have a bath (not at the same time!) every day, we both love it. My husband and son prefer showers.

JoWilkinsonsno1fan · 13/03/2026 19:32

I can’t imagine why you would install a bath to use 4-6 times a year - it makes absolutely no sense at all! I bath everyday, I think to begrudge a child (who actually wants to keep clean) is a bit mean!

JoodyBlueToo · 13/03/2026 19:30

I'd say pick your battles in parenting. This is 100% not a battle I'd choose to pick. I'd be glad she is washing. Could easily go the other way at that age. And honestly if she is finding such a simple way to relax for £3.50 a pop I'd be very happy. Are you annoyed at something you're not acknowledging OP?