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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Three or four baths a week?

479 replies

christonapushbike · 13/03/2026 14:51

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 13/03/2026 23:07

A bath as a ‘treat’ a few times a year. That’s so weird lol

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 23:03

Octavia64 · 13/03/2026 22:43

I just googled that and it just gave me lots of pubs called the cock,

now my imagination is running wild

Show quote history

Meant to be choc bar aka chocolate with the book - candle and wine or gin in my case

Cherryicecreamx · 13/03/2026 23:03

I think it's a shame to get a lovely big bath fitted with the intention to use it only every few months!! Cost wise I'm sure it would have been cheaper to book a hotel with a bath than spend getting one fitted if you want to use it this little.

I vote YABU - a shower is completely different to a bath even if she does have the privilege of an ensuite. I think a bath is a wonderful form of self care!

Mumwithbaggage · 13/03/2026 22:53

Is this lovely bath in your ensuite or in the family bathroom? We have a lovely deep bathtub in our ensuite but I have never ever used it - don't think dh has either. Love my double sized shower though.

Pick your battles. Once every few months??? Plus £3.50 doesn't sound all that bad for a lovely long hot soak if you like that kind of thing. I pay that much for a mediocre coffee without thinking about it.

Theonebutnotonly · 13/03/2026 22:43

elfendom1 · 13/03/2026 19:34

She really shouldn't have the ensuite if she is hogging the family bathroom for hours several times a week. Nothing more annoying than someone wallowing for 2 hours, steaming up the bathroom, condensation everywhere.

Blimey. What do you think bathrooms are for? Would you be happy if she had cold baths? (And if it’s a refurbished bathroom I bet it’s got an extractor fan.)

Octavia64 · 13/03/2026 22:43

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 21:31

And a cock bar

Show quote history

I just googled that and it just gave me lots of pubs called the cock,

now my imagination is running wild

Catza · 13/03/2026 22:42

LittleBearPad · 13/03/2026 22:29

It’s about a quid a bath, probable less so. RTFT. OP’s maths has been questioned and debunked

Show quote history

I don't know how it can be debunked when we don't know the area where OP lives and who supplies her energy.
But let's assume for the sake of it that OP lives in the same area as me.
Water charge £2.20 m3, wastewater charge £2.80 m3. There is 0.3 m3 in a 300l bath. That takes us to £1.50 for water charge only.
Let's assume that OP is on national average gas tariff and her step daughter heats water to a balmy 45 degrees Celsius. This will take approximately 12,75kw/h worth of gas at 80 pence a pop.
So the total for the bath comes at £2.30
Multiplied by 4 times a week, multiplied by 4,2 weeks in a month achieving a grand total of £38.64

Not sure where your quid a bath comes from but happy to review your calculations.

PigletJohn · 13/03/2026 22:37

If you want a display bath for purely ornamental purposes, put it in the front garden so the neighbours can admire it.

An ordinary 100 litre bath for bathing in, will give you less excuse to moan.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 22:36

Maybe @christonapushbike has fallen into her bath and cant get out as she’s not retuning and replying

LittleBearPad · 13/03/2026 22:29

Catza · 13/03/2026 19:03

It's 3.50 a pop, 3-4 times a week which makes a total of between £42 and £60 a month.
That's absolutely fine if this is your priority. It's not mine and I consider it frivolous based on my budget and my priorities.

Show quote history

It’s about a quid a bath, probable less so. RTFT. OP’s maths has been questioned and debunked

goingforgold123 · 13/03/2026 21:55

DoesthislookgoodOnMe · 13/03/2026 21:04

I think of you are wealthy enough for an en-suite shower then surely you shouldn’t be complaining about the cost of having a bath.

Lots of love earners have ensuites, they are pretty standard now.
The point the OP is making is that her new bathtub is 300 it's capacity whereas a standard one is about 100ltrs.
So effectively the SD is taking the equivalent of 9 to 12 standard baths per week.

Wintersgirl · 13/03/2026 21:49

Octavia64 · 13/03/2026 14:54

I have a bath every day.

bloody love it.

are you actually complaining about a child using the bath too much?

Me too, nothing better than getting in a hot bath, i can't go to bed unless I've had one.

HippityHoppityHay · 13/03/2026 21:48

ChangeAgainAgainAgain · 13/03/2026 15:12

Utterly, utterly ridiculous to try to ration the number of baths a child has.

I think it says a lot that you've spent a fortune on a bath tub that you don't want her to use, but haven't upgraded her shower, that you do want her to use, to something with decent pressure.

Edited

No it's not.
A bath is a luxury.
I remember when we could only afford one a week.

A bath uses a lot of water and her DS stays in it for 2 hours 3 or 4 times a week - she's taking the mickey.
She has an en-suite with a shower.

I'd tell her she can use the bath once a week and the shower for the other days.

OneNewLeader · 13/03/2026 21:47

I’m sure there’s more at play here. Perhaps she could be more grateful, perhaps you could be less resentful, but it’s her home, a place where she should feel safe, loved and secure in, strive for that. Unless of course she’s 30 and not paying a dime.

watchingthishtread · 13/03/2026 21:38

I can think of much worse things a teenager could be doing than taking too many baths. Pick your battles.

CrocusesFlowering · 13/03/2026 21:31

Oh look - a plop and run froth generating poster 🤥

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 21:31

Charlize43 · 13/03/2026 17:22

I can spend hours in the bath, candles, lovely relaxing music, Prosecco in ice bucket by the side, good book... simple pleasures.

And a cock bar

FairyBatman · 13/03/2026 21:27

I agree it’s mean to ration baths unless you are really struggling financially, but no way would she be keeping the room with the en-suite if she refuses to use it. We’d be having a swap round so that someone who appreciates the shower has the en-suite and she could have whatever baths she wants as a trade-off.

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 21:26

Plus if in the bath for 2hrs she must be topping it up so loosen plug and add more hot water or else water be freezing

so that’s an extra cost as well

those who have 1800 spas they just be huge

mine is 600l

PearLover · 13/03/2026 21:26

I remember going for super long baths all the time when I was a teen, taking my book in there, taking as long as I could to escape my controlling and demoralising step mother. Just some food for thought there

The2ndMrsMaximDeWinter · 13/03/2026 21:26

You begrudge a family member a bath every other night? And treat a bath as a quarterly treat? Do you live in 1920?

I hope you’re warm and generous in other ways because this is pretty grim

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 21:25

LoveItaly · 13/03/2026 17:14

I seem to be in the minority here as I think it’s a bit unreasonable to take over the family bathroom for up to two hours at a time when you have your own en-suite shower. Anyone having a bath for that long should check first that no one else needs to use the bathroom for quite some time.

Assuming they would pee in her en suite if needed to go

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 13/03/2026 21:23

Clear resentment of a step child - another blissful blended family.

BoogieTownTop · 13/03/2026 21:23

Nickyknackered · 13/03/2026 14:53

I take it you don't like her?

This made me snort!

Because it’s the first post and obviously true!

Londonrach1 · 13/03/2026 21:22

You don't like her . Poor kid

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