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AIBU?

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Original poster

Three or four baths a week?

479 replies

christonapushbike · 13/03/2026 14:51

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

OP posts:
SunshineAndSandalsMakeMeHappy · 13/03/2026 16:07

I have an admission to make, not only do I have a bath every night but we have a tv in the bathroom AND I’m partial to a Lush bath bomb. I’ll get my coat and leave the thread now.

ShakeNCake · 13/03/2026 16:07

I have never, in all my decades of life, through poor times and wealthy times, heard of having a bath as a 6 times a year treat.

You live in a house where you can afford a new bathroom and a luxury bath, where you can afford for one of the rooms to have a full ensuite, and you are seriously pissing and moaning about a kid wanting to bathe 3/4 times a week in your special bath?

Is the drip feed that the bath has taps that only let in sour donkey milk a la Cleopatra?

Bowling4soup · 13/03/2026 16:04

Intention of using the bath every 2-3 months?? What?? Why? 🤯 why not every day? I don’t get what I’m missing

BudgetBuster · 13/03/2026 16:04

itsthetea · 13/03/2026 16:02

Deduct from pocket money ?

What? A) There is no way on earth a bath is costing 3.50... B) Ask a stepchild to pay for being allowed to wash herself?

That's an insane premise

I could understand maybe saying if she wants expensive bubbles or toiletries she should contribute but a pay per bath? Like... put a coin box outside the door before she's allowed in?

ComradeAmoeba · 13/03/2026 16:02

I don't use my bath much and find it gets really dusty, so you DSD is doing you a favour by helping keep it clean!

As pp said, no way does it cost £3.50 a time.

itsthetea · 13/03/2026 16:02

Deduct from pocket money ?

RhododendronFlowers · 13/03/2026 16:01

SunshineAndSandalsMakeMeHappy · 13/03/2026 15:58

Or make a MN chicken…

Show quote history

Yes.
Plus an enormous salad.

Auroraloves · 13/03/2026 16:01

Not sure why she has to spend so long in there! That would do my head in!

im a bath person though and want one everyday!!

How old is she?

RhododendronFlowers · 13/03/2026 16:00

BudgetBuster · 13/03/2026 15:58

Perfect, and then for her one meal of the day she can have a 1960s ration pack

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I'm thinking the OP creates a ration book, and the DSD uses up coupons for each meal.
Perhaps she could also ration electricity in the bedroom and provide candles for her.

Ponderingwindow · 13/03/2026 16:00

I have a clearly superior tub to the one in my daughter’s en-suite. The only problem with my daughter using mine is that means some nights I don’t get the long bath I planned. She has been having a tough spell, she needs the mental relaxation more these days.

KarriTreeSullivan · 13/03/2026 15:59

A powerless shower sounds cold and miserable. I get terrible red spots on my legs if I ever had to shave my legs in a shower I'm not completely hot in, baths are way better for leg shaving.

It is a massive treat to have an ensuite, definitely, but a shit shower is just miserable.

You're being weird and unreasonable about a bath , you sound mean,

MsGreying · 13/03/2026 15:59

£728 a year for 4 baths a week,

If people genuinely think that's a small amount then please send me some money.

  • and to hog the bathroom for hours on end - it's a twatty thing to do. Doesn't matter if there's another bathroom I want to use mine and not someone else's.
willitevergetwarm · 13/03/2026 15:59

I love a bath and have at least one a day. Sometimes I go all out and have a shower in the evenings for quickness

Don't be mean and let her have a bath

SunshineAndSandalsMakeMeHappy · 13/03/2026 15:58

BudgetBuster · 13/03/2026 15:58

Perfect, and then for her one meal of the day she can have a 1960s ration pack

Show quote history

Or make a MN chicken…

BudgetBuster · 13/03/2026 15:58

KarriTreeSullivan · 13/03/2026 15:56

And with 2 family members sharing it either at the same time or one after the other.

Show quote history

Perfect, and then for her one meal of the day she can have a 1960s ration pack

RhododendronFlowers · 13/03/2026 15:57

KarriTreeSullivan · 13/03/2026 15:56

And with 2 family members sharing it either at the same time or one after the other.

Show quote history

Even better.

KarriTreeSullivan · 13/03/2026 15:56

RhododendronFlowers · 13/03/2026 15:52

You could put a line round it, like they used to in the War.

And with 2 family members sharing it either at the same time or one after the other.

crazycatladie · 13/03/2026 15:54

If you can afford the £3.50 each time, then let her enjoy it.

Tulipsriver · 13/03/2026 15:54

No way is this real. Nobody buys a bath planning to only use it as a treat every 2-3 months.

RhododendronFlowers · 13/03/2026 15:52

You could put a line round it, like they used to in the War.

Unpaidviewer · 13/03/2026 15:52

I have a bath most days. I don't see the problem.

BestZebbie · 13/03/2026 15:52

YABU - a bath isn't a "treat", it's a standard method of staying clean for everyday life.

That is the strange opinion in the OP, not your DSD wanting to use the bath to wash in.

Chatsbots · 13/03/2026 15:51

My in-laws changed the bath to a shallow one when they moved house, so that my SiL couldn't have a deep, long bath when she visited (not more than once a year!).

I stopped staying with my in-laws when they complained I splashed too much in the shower.

I judged them for these actions, it's not a good look being tight and unwelcoming.

I've never told my Sil about the bath thing, she's visiting next week...

ChateauProvence · 13/03/2026 15:51

You’ve worked out how much her baths cost? Fuck me. Why would anyone get a bath fitted for it to be hardly used and then resent someone using it

therewasafishinthepercolator · 13/03/2026 15:51

You've built a bath up to seem like a scandalously decadent thing. Its just a bath. This seems so petty that it does seem like you're looking for things to be annoyed at her for. I'd let this one go.