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When is the cut-off mark for being young?

59 replies

OneOfEachPlease · 13/03/2026 13:53

Not a thread about a threat, but inspired by several threads! Am I being unreasonable not to understand at what point do you change from being young to being an established adult? And am I being extra unreasonable, not to understand the consensus on how long a relationship is before it’s serious.

Obviously all of these things are a bit “how long is a piece of string”, but there seems to be a real divergence about when people are young, free and single and should be prioritising their career and when they are at the stage in life where they should be a proper adult who’s got some responsibilities etc. So just hoping to garner views!

I’ll go first. My view is that people are adults basically as soon as they time out of being somewhere between 18 and 21. But that everybody needs help sometimes and you can’t expect people to be completely independent overnight. And I think any relationship which stretches more than 18 months is serious but that does not mean it’s time to propose! I think that I think there are more stages between casual/single and marriage.

OP posts:
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OneOfEachPlease · 14/03/2026 09:43

This is so interesting! I suppose my original question was a bit linked to the concept of “failure to launch” and when you can be seen as legitimately still wandering about versus the age at which people are gonna start writing sniffy threads about you on the Internet 😂

OP posts:
Nevermind17 · 13/03/2026 18:26

It depends. I had 3 DCs, a mortgage, a career and was divorced by 28.

My youngest DC is 22 and has zero responsibilities apart from attending college/part time job. Her lifestyle is similar to mine was at 15.

MidnightMeltdown · 13/03/2026 18:19

I would say that young adult is 18 - 30ish, which around the time that the brain becomes fully developed.

Adult is ~30 - 44

Middle aged 45 - 59

Older adult 60 - 74

Elderly 75+

MidnightMeltdown · 13/03/2026 18:12

OneOfEachPlease · 13/03/2026 14:01

I’m really surprised at 30! By 30 I had a very serious job, was married, had one child and was pregnant with the next… I’m really surprised that someone might think that someone at 29 is kind of still a kid!

Developmentally you are. We now know that the brain is still developing until early 30s

Tollington · 13/03/2026 17:35

Up to 26

Roselily123 · 13/03/2026 17:31

Young adult 18
Adult 30
Mature Adult 50

Papyrophile · 13/03/2026 17:31

At 27, I no longer see my DC as very young. My DF is 93, and definitely geriatric. DH and I will both turn 70 this year and while I still feel youthful enough to be fairly energetic, the cataracts I just had fixed prove otherwise!

1457bloom · 13/03/2026 17:30

i think under 40 is young.

SpottyAlpaca · 13/03/2026 17:30

This has changed massively in my lifetime. When I was growing up in a very working class Midlands town in the 80s, most people left school at 16, got jobs, were financially independent of their parents by 19 & were married with kids & a mortgage by 24. 35 year olds were, by any sensible definition, middle-aged.

Now, it’s completely different. Mass higher education has effectively extended childhood (in terms of not being financially independent) into the mid 20s and the enormous cost of housing has meant very few people can afford to buy a home or start a family until well into their their 30s. Unless they are living on benefits, of course…

Ophir · 13/03/2026 17:30

24

Crushed23 · 13/03/2026 17:29

Startrekobsessed · 13/03/2026 14:26

Oh I reckon 29 and under! But I was recently having a conversation with a friend who just had her first baby at 37 (we’re the same age) and she described herself as a young mother! I was pretty gobsmacked 🤣

Totally depends on social circle! In my world (millennial professionals living in one of the most expensive cities in the world, mostly as expats), 37-42 is normal for first baby, and 35 and under is considered young. In the sense that not one of us will be having a baby by 35. Also, most who have/want a baby are/will be one-and-done, and the proportion of couples who are child-free by choice is much higher than the national average.

I know that that’s VERY different from a lot of other social circles.

elliejjtiny · 13/03/2026 17:28

About 20-25ish I think. If you are still able to get free condoms from the sexual health clinic then you are still young.

Serious relationship really depends. Some people will still be casually dating after 5 years and some will be married with 3 dc.

Gingernaut · 13/03/2026 17:28

After 27

You're in your late 20s, you're no longer a child or a young adult

Anewerforest · 13/03/2026 17:28

Startrekobsessed · 13/03/2026 14:26

Oh I reckon 29 and under! But I was recently having a conversation with a friend who just had her first baby at 37 (we’re the same age) and she described herself as a young mother! I was pretty gobsmacked 🤣

Wouldn't that mean 'young' as in 'new to' something?

MasterBeth · 13/03/2026 17:27

OneOfEachPlease · 13/03/2026 14:01

I’m really surprised at 30! By 30 I had a very serious job, was married, had one child and was pregnant with the next… I’m really surprised that someone might think that someone at 29 is kind of still a kid!

But "young" doesn't mean "child".

Changename12 · 13/03/2026 17:26

I would say up to about 25 is a young adult.
When you get to my age everyone else seems young!

WhatAMarvelousTune · 13/03/2026 17:24

catipuss · 13/03/2026 14:03

Depends how old you are. Currently young is anything under 50 for me.

But OP wasn’t asking about a general sense of young compared to old. She said when do you go from being young to being an “established adult”. You can’t think that is 50.

ElizabethsTailor · 13/03/2026 17:24

Solost92 · 13/03/2026 15:56

Under 21 you're a kid. Under 25 you're a young adult. 25-40 adult. 40-60 middle aged. 60-70 older adult. 70+ old.

I totally agree with this.

And I’m stunned by other posts suggesting “young adult” up to mid-thirties. How things change! I remember being appalled that my pregnancy with my youngest would be classed as a “geriatric pregnancy” because I would turn 35 just before the birth.

OneWildNightWithJBJ · 13/03/2026 17:22

I think of anyone in their twenties as very young, but of course, that changes as I get older. I remember in my teens thinking 25 sounded so old!

Middle age is always about ten years from my current age, so about 58! Elderly is 90+, as I don't think of my parents as elderly.

I think some people muddle young with immature. You might be married with kids, a mortgage and a professional job at 29, which would still make you young.

Kingdomofsleep · 13/03/2026 17:18

I was 28 when I got a particular job and I was the youngest person they had ever hired in that role (just the sort of thing people choose to do when close to retirement).

But if I was a professional footballer I'd have been considered old.

So there's no such thing as intrinsically young or old, just relative. Imo.

Kingdomofsleep · 13/03/2026 17:14

Surely you're young "for" something rather than being plain young.

For example, 45 is relatively old for having your first child. But 45 is very young for retirement.

24 is old for starting university. But 24 is fairly young for getting married and having children.

And so on

Ponoka7 · 13/03/2026 17:14

I remember feeling as though I was getting past it at 23, but that was the early 90s. Now I have seen a change in the young people I know, between 25 and 27. So I'd say 26 you start to become a proper adult.

Dillydollydingdong · 13/03/2026 17:11

Old is ten years older than you are. So if I'm 70, old is 80+. But when I'm 80, old is 90+.

StephensLass1977 · 13/03/2026 17:10

I don't know as it's all subjective but I certainly felt middle aged and past my best at 40. Suddenly, everything I could comfortably eat in the past made me put on weight - even cheese sandwiches and a Mr Kipling small apple pie, my usual exercise routines stopped working, and I noticed I completely stopped getting any admiring glances!

Wingingit73 · 13/03/2026 17:08

Im 52 and im young