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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect my mother to know my address as an adult?

194 replies

aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 13:33

Looking for some opinions and perspectives to see if I'm being unreasonable.

There's definitely relevant previous background, but on the whole do mothers of adult children, regardless of age, know their address? Not just where they live but their actual address, or at least have it written down somewhere?

I appreciate this seems ridiculous in the grand scheme of life, but as with most things in life, it's one of many other issues.

Thanks!

OP posts:
Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:46

Arregaithel · 13/03/2026 14:43

That your Mum, off the top of her head, doesn't know your address by heart and she has to ask, every time, is not really that abnormal.

My husband could certainly not recite the addresses of our children and he actually loves them madly 🤗

I do think your pov is somewhat skewed because of your relationship @aredrosegrewup

I do understand why it may bug you, somewhat, though.

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Do you have their addresses written down or saved anywhere?

OP posts:
Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:45

Arregaithel · 13/03/2026 14:43

That your Mum, off the top of her head, doesn't know your address by heart and she has to ask, every time, is not really that abnormal.

My husband could certainly not recite the addresses of our children and he actually loves them madly 🤗

I do think your pov is somewhat skewed because of your relationship @aredrosegrewup

I do understand why it may bug you, somewhat, though.

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It's definitely skewed! That's why I'm asking. There's so many different answers though, I feel more confused than when I started.

OP posts:
Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:43

kellygoeswest · 13/03/2026 14:42

My mum visits me around once a month (I visit her more frequently) and I'm certain she has no idea what my actual address is. She knows the building/how to get there but definitely not the road name or postcode.

I actually think if I text her right now asking which door number I am she wouldn't be sure!

Do you know hers?

OP posts:
Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:43

99victoria · 13/03/2026 14:33

It's an unreasonable opinion though in my view

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And I think it's unreasonable not to know your children's address, after repeatedly giving it. (My circumstances, not yours).

OP posts:
Arregaithel · 13/03/2026 14:43

aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 13:59

I'm not not contact no, I'm limited contact I would say. I'm aware it looks like a non issue out of context and because of our relationship sometimes I struggle with whether something is off or if it's normal.

Show quote history

That your Mum, off the top of her head, doesn't know your address by heart and she has to ask, every time, is not really that abnormal.

My husband could certainly not recite the addresses of our children and he actually loves them madly 🤗

I do think your pov is somewhat skewed because of your relationship @aredrosegrewup

I do understand why it may bug you, somewhat, though.

kellygoeswest · 13/03/2026 14:42

My mum visits me around once a month (I visit her more frequently) and I'm certain she has no idea what my actual address is. She knows the building/how to get there but definitely not the road name or postcode.

I actually think if I text her right now asking which door number I am she wouldn't be sure!

Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:38

user1469770863 · 13/03/2026 14:36

I'd write it clearly on a piece of card, put it in a little frame ... and gift it to her. Maybe hang it on her wall next time you visit. Silly? Yes. Unnecessary? Possibly. But it might solve the problem!

😂😂😂

OP posts:
Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:38

MrsMitford3 · 13/03/2026 14:36

I know all 3 of my adult children's addresses-
but do check every time as all of them have moved a lot (student years)

I post them cards now and then just to say hello and often send flowers/things on amazon etc.

So I do find it odd that parents don't know their DC addresses-I also keep mine in my phone in contacts but I now realise if I lost my phone it would be bad!

You sound lovely!

OP posts:
Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:37

CheeseWisely · 13/03/2026 14:31

I’ve lived in my current address 6 years and until last year she asked EVERY TIME (and every time for every address beforehand) Wouldn’t even be arsed to search it in our WhatsApp conversation from the previous time, never mind actually write it down. I refused to tell her at one point as I was tired of it and loe and behold she managed to find it herself.

This is exactly how I feel. I haven't actually replied yet.

OP posts:
MrsMitford3 · 13/03/2026 14:36

I know all 3 of my adult children's addresses-
but do check every time as all of them have moved a lot (student years)

I post them cards now and then just to say hello and often send flowers/things on amazon etc.

So I do find it odd that parents don't know their DC addresses-I also keep mine in my phone in contacts but I now realise if I lost my phone it would be bad!

user1469770863 · 13/03/2026 14:36

I'd write it clearly on a piece of card, put it in a little frame ... and gift it to her. Maybe hang it on her wall next time you visit. Silly? Yes. Unnecessary? Possibly. But it might solve the problem!

Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:34

KiposWonderbeasts · 13/03/2026 14:26

Why would your mother be sending and ambulance to your house? She isn't going to be the person who realises you need one because she's not there.

It's ok to be angry or hurt about poor parenting, of course it is. I just don't think this is in particular is anything to get wound up by.

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It was just one example. I feel better knowing my grandmother's address incase anything was ever needed, I wasn't there and had to give it to somebody.

OP posts:
99victoria · 13/03/2026 14:33

aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:13

In my opinion, I would think would want to know because they are your children. This isnt a slight at you, just an opinion.

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It's an unreasonable opinion though in my view

InterestedDad37 · 13/03/2026 14:32

My kids are mid 20s to early 30s, all been to uni, various addresses etc. I have a record of every address all three have ever lived at. Not saying it's vitally important to know all their past ones, but I just always make a note when they move. It's how I roll 🙂

Backhomenowpls · 13/03/2026 14:32

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CheeseWisely · 13/03/2026 14:31

I’ve lived in my current address 6 years and until last year she asked EVERY TIME (and every time for every address beforehand) Wouldn’t even be arsed to search it in our WhatsApp conversation from the previous time, never mind actually write it down. I refused to tell her at one point as I was tired of it and loe and behold she managed to find it herself.

Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:31

romcat · 13/03/2026 14:28

Yet she has asked you for it multiple times so clearly does use it. I wouldn’t be bothered about this in the slightest, no. I think it would be a problem if she hadn’t asked at all and wasn’t arsed which is what your OP seemed to suggest. You are letting a minor detail grow here, it’s nothing.

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It's not nothing to me and my circumstances though.

OP posts:
Seawolves · 13/03/2026 14:31

Mine hasn't visited me in at least 25 years and doesn't have my new address, I doubt she even knows what town I live in but she does know the county. I know both of my adult kids addresses although I do have to check the last part of DS's postcode.

Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:29

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😂 where to begin...

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Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:29

Daisyblue2 · 13/03/2026 14:27

I know all my 5 adult children’s addresses

Is that because you want to and have actively either written them down or just remembered them? Is it important to you?

OP posts:
Backhomenowpls · 13/03/2026 14:28

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romcat · 13/03/2026 14:28

aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:01

It bothers me that she has asked for it multiple times and cant be arsed to remember it or write it down.

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Yet she has asked you for it multiple times so clearly does use it. I wouldn’t be bothered about this in the slightest, no. I think it would be a problem if she hadn’t asked at all and wasn’t arsed which is what your OP seemed to suggest. You are letting a minor detail grow here, it’s nothing.

BlackMilk · 13/03/2026 14:28

My mum has to ask me every time she sends something. She has posted stuff for my daughter to the wrong address a few times. She is massively scatterbrained but it’s just how she is. It doesn’t bother me.

Original poster
aredrosegrewup · 13/03/2026 14:27

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No, she's either asking for my address so she can give it to somebody else - so they can send a card for example. Or she wants it to send a card herself. We've lived here 5 years and for the first couple, she used to ask for it every time she drove here - instead of writing it down because she doesn't come very often.

OP posts:
Daisyblue2 · 13/03/2026 14:27

I know all my 5 adult children’s addresses

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