AIBU to suspect partner was messaging someone while in bed with baby?

OP, if it looked like a chat and had a white background, my first thought was that he was just using ChatGPT. Or it was a customer service live chat on a retail site.

It’s worrying that you’ve accused your husband of cheating multiple times and made him repeatedly show you his phone etc. That isn’t healthy. Why did you marry a man you apparently have such a low opinion of?

If my DP kept questioning what I was doing on my phone and demanding I prove I’m not cheating, I’d consider that controlling and paranoid and I’d leave.

I have accused him of similar in past and theres always a reason which is never bad and he usually shows me.

Has he ever given you any grounds for not trusting you?

This sounds a bit exhausting TBH

Fecking hell @COYG69based on what she has put here that is ridiculous! If my DP did that I would end it immediately. And I’ve never been unfaithful!
Is this lack of trust a regular thing in your relationship OP? Where does it come from?

Even a surprise wouldn’t prove his innocence. He just has to come up with one to cover his arse.

Guess you’ll find out on Sunday if there’s no surprise!

Wait a minute, you were being serious?

On what grounds do you assume the OP’s husband was speaking to an escort? My default position with men is not to trust them, but even I can’t see what the bloke has done wrong here. I can’t only assume you’ve had this happen to you, and it’s left you bitter. I’d recommend therapy as your reactions on this post aren’t those of someone healthy.

See what happens on mother's day, why wouldn't you believe him? He seems really involved with the family and very hard working and he's obviously not meeting up with anyone. You sound very insecure really. Unless there is a whole back story of infidelity.

You have serious trust issues OP

You can believe him after you use a lie detector

I wonder what your husband must be getting away with

Yes I have to agree this is an enormous leap - so many websites have white backgrounds! Why would it only be teams or email, presumably he has to look things up elsewhere for work? Or he could have been looking at the news and didn't want the baby to see images of death and destruction?

I tilt my phone towards myself around my child all the time, and I don't have a partner.

AI has white screen backgrounds.. so do a lot of shopping websites.

I think OP you are being a bit paranoid. I hope you both work it out

Well you believe him unless he’s given you reason not to trust him. There is nothing you have written that would suggest he was talking to another woman.

He happily let you use his phone while he was out of the room yesterday evening, and he didn’t have notifications silenced? That doesn’t sound like someone who has something to hide on their phone.

My teams background is white.

Has he ever done anything to cause this lack of trust? If my DH accused me of cheating purely because I tilted my phone, I’d think he’d gone a bit mad. If he’d accused me multiple times before, I’d be starting to get a bit fucked off with it.

Ive texted him asking

Why would you do this?!

1. It gives him the chance to delete messages etc if there was anything happening (which is sounds like there isn’t).
2. You don’t trust his answers anyway so it’s pointless.
3. If he is innocent, which it sounds like he is, it’s horrible for him to be accused of something.

Either look at his phone properly or get help for your trust issues.

Shopping for mothers day? I only ever tilt my screen away from dp when I'm buying him something

Do you think he was looking at something for mothers day for you and didn't want you to see? Like a moonpig card or a website ordering you a gift? If he's never given you any doubt before, i'd not think too much into it unless he had a history of doing it x
Edited for spelling

Was also going to say this 😂 DH likes to rib me about what I’m doing on MN

OP this sounds like it is about you, not him. I have to be honest, if a man were behaving as you are- accusing their partner of messaging other people with no real reason, not wanting them to have any privacy with their phone- it would be a huge red flag and would be held up as an example of coercive control. I’m sure you don’t mean it like that at all, but you will destroy your relationship if you carry on like this.

You say that the team’s background is black but it was white this morning. Mine does the same - it’s black at night, but in the daytime it’s a white background. I also have to tilt my work phone away from hubs if I’m dealing with a sensitive topic as it would break all sorts of legislation for him to see it.

If your husband is now managing people then there could have been sensitive information relating to a staff member on screen and that’s why he tilted it away.

Of course if he has form for cheating then he could be, but if he never leaves the house I’m curious as to how. Porn is another option, especially if you’re not having sex

But - you have had a child with him. Maybe try to talk once baby has gone to bed tonight?

Your trust issues need to be addressed otherwise you’re going to drive him away.

I would seriously grow to resent my husband if he was constantly asking what I was doing on my phone.

Consider some joint therapy to talk things through.

I was going to just say the same as Pink, mine changes from black to white also on my phone. He has given you an explanation but you still don’t believe him. I couldn’t live like that from either side, it’s unhealthy.

You’re going to drive him away. This level of distrust is unhealthy and unacceptable.

If it helps my Teams turns from black to white depending on the time of day I’m checking

But also if you’ve had little sleep, your still hormonal ( I was for 2 years postpartum 😅) and are possibly worried re the lack of sex then it’s easy to jump to conclusions