Mumsnetters, sorry this is a long one, and thank you if you read to the end. I think I know the answer, but I need some outside perspective.
I’m 37 with a 4-year-old daughter. My marriage ended shortly after she was born. Three years ago, I met my current boyfriend and was clear from the start that I wanted another baby before 40.
After six months, I fell pregnant. He asked me to have an abortion as it “wasn’t the right time.” I agreed because my finances weren’t great, and we agreed we’d try once I had a new job.
I got a job in a new town and hoped he’d follow so we could build a future properly. He didn’t visit once in a year. During that time, I cheated with my ex - which was wrong. The job didn’t work out, I moved back, and we tried again. He found out about my ex and said we’d have a “trial run” and if it works out we can start trying for a bay in December. December became February. February became “maybe baby.”
Now he says because I cheated a year ago and things aren’t great, he’s unsure about having a baby. I feel I had an abortion I didn’t really want, moved my life around, and now live with him paying rent for a house he pays mortgage for while waiting for a future he keeps postponing. He says we don’t have time alone because of my daughter, which is impacting negatively, I don’t understand why we can’t all spend time together like a family.
I feel resentful and used.
So - do I leave because he clearly won’t commit and probably never truly intended to? Or do I stay and hope he eventually means it?