Am I wasting my last chance at another baby?

Your 37 and you already have a child. Yes you wanted another child by the time you turned 40. As the moment your with a man whose does not want your child around.
If he is like this with a young child he has no interest in having a baby, the sleepless nights ect
He got you to get an abortion in the past and you cheated on him after this.
At the moment your paying half his mortgage on a house that your not named on.
He has you there to pay towards his mortgage, bills and provide sex.

You need to grow up and realise that he is wasting your time. You need to end things with him. Don't bring a child into your current situation as it not fair on him, you or the child you already have.
At this stage it's not just about you and what you want. You have to consider what best for you and your current child long term.

I would look for a place to rent with your child and tell him it over between you as long term you want different things. I would do what ever possible to buy your own home.

Your boyfriend is being sensible. Bringing a child into anything other than a rock solid long term relationship is foolish. It doesn’t matter how much money you have.

If you are only staying in this relationship because you think it is your best chance at a baby, you should leave. However, you should not just seek a new man for the sake of procreation.

I agreed because my finances weren’t great

we agreed we’d try once I had a new job

The job didn’t work out

All this is from your first post. Which is why people are questioning your financial acumen.

As for the rest of it, I'm inclined to agree with others. There are too many red flags (your cheating, him pushing the goalposts, you paying towards his mortgage not to mention the child already involved in all this)

It is never going to work.

Not sure how the voting works - I’d say you’re unreasonable because it sounds like neither of you want the relationship an you’re hanging on to maybe get pregnant with someone who doesn’t want a baby.

so leave. Move out and maybe see if you meet someone else.

Well she can’t without him agreeing to it… that’s sorta the point

Similarly, why not just break up instead of cheating? You both appear to have made some poor decisions.

At this point, the why doesn’t matter. You did what you did, he did what he did and now you are where you are.

If you want to have the baby, have the baby.

You’ve even said yourself… it is a trial! And he’s also told you he doesn’t feel you are getting enough time together, which is his bad, but he’s TELLING you he isn’t happy in the relationship… he’s not pretending life is perfect and aimlessly misleading you about a baby. He agreed to give it a try and have a baby if things were working, he’s clearly not happy still… as he has told you, and so the correct thing here is to still, not have a baby. Hence why you should split and focus on your child. Nobody should have a baby in a relationship they aren’t happy in, just because they didn’t manage to predict the future and once thought a baby would come eventually.

Oh my god. Break up with him. He’s stringing you along and you want a baby more than a man. End this sham of a relationship and get artificial insemination or apply to adopt.

You’re a high earner, you don’t need a man to have a baby.

Not all women are vulnerable did you not realise that

It's really not that easy to just give up on a relationship. It sounds like he loves you and wanted to get past the cheating but he hasn't been able to completely get over it. He wouldn't be still bringing it up if he had got over it. Maybe you need to take the lead on ending the relationship.

He probably didn’t realise she would cheat on him. That is on her. And he’s refusing to have a baby in a shit relationship, it’s weird that you are opposed to that.

She actually cheated on him, him changing his mind on having a child with someone who cheated on him is not a betrayal. It's common sense.

He didn't suggest, the OP says he asked her to. And let her believe they'd have a future baby when I bet my bottom dollar he had no intention. His lies and betrayal came first and were greater.

OP, you’ve been together three years, for one of those years you lived away and he didn’t come to visit you, and you cheated. That doesn’t sound stable. Maybe he was just stringing you along with the idea of a baby and never wanted one, maybe he did want one but the cheating has made him feel the relationship isn’t solid enough now, or ever.

If you want a baby then leave, and either look at having a baby on your own, or in another relationship. This isn’t the right relationship for either of you to be adding a baby to.

He doesn't want a baby with a cheat and you are surprised !

I think it's quite sensible to not bring a baby into such an unstable relationship. You seem to be minimising your role in the poor state of the relationship in the post and putting all the blame on him. If that's your attitude towards your DP it's understandable that he doesn't want to fully commit.

You said your aborted because your finances weren’t great. He agreed December if things were going well, clearly they aren’t going well so he’s put it off. It doesn’t mean he never wanted a baby, it means things aren’t going well

Well this is bloody foolish. Stop paying half a mortgage for a house you have no stakes in.

yes you should pay rent to live in a house if you don’t own it but this is madness.

you and your daughter are very vulnerable and you want to add a baby to the mix?!
you should be focusing on buying either into that property (will never happen, he’s not stupid) or your own and move out or at least rent it out. Before you get pregnant.

The baby isn't so much an issue. Had you been in a stable relationship then another baby would make sense, but the reality is that you are not. You are in an on/off relationship where cheating has occured with a man who wants to not only not have a child with you. but also prefers to spend time with your without your existing child. It's just a big fat no, and by trying to wrangle this into something it's not and so that will work out you are not thinking about your DDs best interest. You sound almost obsessed with this idea of a baby before you are 40, but your circumstances are all wrong.

I think the issue here is your DP. He doesn’t make you happy. Leave and keep your baby.

What a mess.