Things you secretly know

I know that my close family member had her dc removed from her care due to her giving them strong pain killers prescribed to her. All so she could get stoned in peace. SS told me as I was taking her dc in when they were removed.

she’s told everyone that they’ve been removed due to her mental health.

We were the only people he told actually. yeah course you were. You and all the other only people he told.

I read it that the laughing face was an ironic one, immediately following the ‘it was such a kindly village…’ As in laughing ironically at the awful people that did this to him, and not laughing at him.

edit to add -
not singling out @MinimumRageas I know others have commented on this too (I don’t know how to copy text, so always quote)

He didn't tell his son. He rang his dad one evening whilst he was out of the room and the son picked up (innocently) and clocked. He only told us, years later. And this is the first time I've ever mentioned it.

And I've requested that it be deleted so that the person is not identified.

If we'd have all been gossiping about it, you would have all heard about it before this morning on Mumsnet, wouldn't you?

I know that a very famous actor (A list I would say) groomed and has a relationship with a girl in her mid teens. He was in his late 30s / early 40s at the time I believe. I don't think she was the only one.

My friend is a senior nurse and she was covering a colleague’s appointment but it hadn’t been registered and she was called out for looking at the patients record. Obviously she could explain why and everything was ok, I was very impressed That our private details are so well looked after.

I know a huge amount of secrets but people tell me things because they know I won't tell a soul (except my dog). Sometimes I do think 'please don't tell me' and sometimes I really have to push them to tell someone else (eg when something needs action). But I do love knowing!

The irony is, in my experience, the older church goers who profess to be the ‘biggest’ Christian’s are the ones least likely to have tolerated someone like Jesus. Don’t get me started on anyone who is different to them and genuinely needs kindness, friendship and help 🙄

I am divorcing my emotionally abusive ex. He’s being really horrible, including manipulating people. He’s turned mutual friends against me (because I don’t talk to them about what really went on).

But I know that at least three of them can see through his mask. One has called him a cu#t. Another said he is ‘gaslighting’ them. Another said he is ‘as mad as a box of frogs.’ I listen and learn but I don’t engage in a ‘tit first tat’ exchange of information that proves he is indeed, all three of those things.

I also know something about him that would destroy his reputation locally. It could wreck his career. It’s a really shameful secret of his. I could, but won’t, tell one person ‘in confidence’ - who I know would share it widely - and his life would be ruined. I love having that nuclear bomb in my back pocket but choosing peace over chaos and nastiness. Having it, but not using it, makes me feel stronger and take a ‘let him’ stance as he trashes my reputation. I know the truth. I see him. And others are starting to see him too.

So far this thread tells me little about the supposed people who are hiding secrets — what it does tell me is that some people who shouldn’t have have breached confidentiality or looked at private health or financial records have done so.

Something very similar happened in a church in the south east. Their new vicar was gay (this was about 20 years ago) and some in the congregation sent him threatening hate mail. He had a breakdown.

No smilies here....

That poor vicar. Another that didn’t find it funny. How heartbreaking for him to be forced to a breakdown.

Absolutely and rightly so. The systems can catch out via the audit trail who has ever accessed records and people have been sacked for this.

If the NHS does not have this, then it is not protecting the public's right to privacy and inexcusably behind the times.

This. I used to work in Childrens Social Care, and we weren’t allowed to search any old kid in the system. Everything leaves a digital footprint, and we would’ve been fired for looking at files that we weren’t working on.

It's a very serious breech of confidence.

It's a bit shocking that the sponsor told his son all about it.

I have no idea what this footballer is like, and it's really not the point. He has gone to AA and gone through a very challenging programme. He will have hit rock bottom with his physical and mental health. His life was probably almost destroyed. He has gone to AA with the assurance that this will be 100% confidential. Otherwise people will stop seeking help.
It's very serious.

I’ve got two

1. my mum had two affairs while married to my dad. She first blurted it out to me when I was a teenager. When she left my dad (I was in my late 20’s by this point) she told me who, and one of them was my best friend’s father who I’m still friends with. I don’t think my friend knows. Her parents are still married and I’ll never tell her.
2. My exH is getting married again this summer (3rd time, I was no.2) He’s told the kids, who he told not to tell me because he said he was going to do it, but he hasn’t yet because he’s too chickenshit and I suspect is hoping I’ll just find out. The kids didn’t tell me, I found out another way, and while I couldn’t give a shit he’s marrying again - I certainly don’t want him back, and if anything it means more stability for him which is a good thing for the kids - Im pissed off at him for asking them to keep that kind of secret. I’ve know for 4 months now but I’m not letting on so he can sweat about it

@Bitsandbobs2 so you all stayed quiet over the sexual abuse of children?

We were the only people he told actually.

The guy in question is an abusive turd. I heard that from somebody else ;)

Absolutely agree with this. I also work in financial and we have to follow this and quite rightly have exact same procedure.

We also have audit checks so if it was identified we were accessing accounts without reason then that would be us in the firing line and rightly so.

On top of that it is mandatory to acknowledge our understanding of this annually.

I would hope the NHS has procedures in place to see if staff members are accessing patient records unnecessarily and out of sheer nosiness! This has to be a sackable offence and a major breach of GDPR.

hmmm....mick jagger ?

Funny.
So there's a famous footballer who is fighting an addiction and takes the brave step to go to AA to save his career, his relationships and probably his life. He's gets a sponsor who is bound to utmost confidentiality.
That sponsor has told their son, who spreads this around as gossip?
Absolutely disgusting.

I know that a very good friend of a friend is in so much debt and is lying to avoid paying out. I feel really sorry for this woman but she's also not helping herself at all as she is trying to portray she is doing well and having her hair and nails done regularly.

Exactly and this is how it should be. I dont want random people I know being able to access my financial details out of sheer nosiness