AIBU to save less and spend more enjoying life now?

After watching my spending for a long time, I've just had a couple of years of spending. New kitchen, new bathroom, new car, new hip (through private health), second hip to be done in November, plus some unexpected costs to fix the garage ceiling and a couple of other more expensive maintenance jobs.

With the renovations I'll get to enjoy them for the next 30 years, so they're worth it. Plus the new bathroom has been a blessing post hip replacement. I'll now have the car until I retire, so I'll get my money's worth from that.

I'd say think about the things you would get long term use out of and spend on those. Things like renos and cars are just going to get dearer the longer you wait to do them.

I think it doesn’t have to be one extreme or the other, you can find your own middle ground where you feel comfortable. Since taking more control of my finances I’ve become much more aware of what I spend and as a result I only spend on things I really want and will value. So previously I would have thought I needed a new dressing table, saw one I quite liked for £300 and bought it. Now I think to myself, do I love it enough to spend £300 on it? If not, I’ll shop around and see if I can find one I like just as much for £100 and pop the other £200 into my ‘Home’ savings pot for something else or pop it in my ISA.

So I’m not completely stopping spending on things I want, but I am more mindful of what I’m spending.

This is true - your kids may not even go to university. Despite myself and their Dad both having post grad qualifications, neither of ours took the same route. Both are working and thriving. One is now doing a degree level apprenticeship and earning as they study.

This is true, but I think there can be a balance. Don't put off things you desperately want to do. Budget for them, make them happen sooner rather than later. I think a lot of people regret putting off things they want to do until it is too late.

Watch the opening section of the kids cartoon Up. It makes you want to seize the moment.

Pay off the mortgage whether that’s putting money into the pension in order to take the 25% out tax for you to clear the mortgage with.
Or pay off the literal mortgage, just get rid of that damn thing and then you can look at your options again
I am in theory only 10 months away from being mortgage free at 50 which is a fantastic feeling
Of course I’ll then have renovations to do and repairs and yada, yada yada
But it would be such a relief

Have fun now. We don't know what will happen. But be really selective, and save as well. Only do the things that really matter to you and stop doing the things that don't.

What are the top three places you want to see before you die? Do those holidays. Skip the 'I fancy a break at any old beach/European city' holidays that suck money but don't really make a difference.

I don't care if I never have a takeaway again in my life. Or eat in an ordinary restaurant. I love a good restaurant with family or friends for celebrations but a pizza before the cinema, costing £50 or more just for a bit of cheese and tomato on bread and a glass of wine for two people? Forget it. I'd rather save that waste money on indifferent nights out.

It's also worth exploring how much fun you can have for free or low cost. DH and I go to gigs of upcoming bands. Even in London some of these are only £6. Same with new comedians doing try outs. And we go to the album promotion gigs of better known artists. About £15-30 for a short, often acoustic set, instead of the crazy costs of stadium shows.

You need to find your balance. Don’t save all now. Dont spend all now. But put in place a budget for fun - and use it for that. Don’t assume that university will occur - and maybe encourage apprenticeships?

Only one of my parents got anywhere near retirement age, and most of my family die around 70-74, so I’m now more interested in living life than saving for the future.

There has to be some sort of balance. We favoured a "live for today" approach, with a bit of common sense thrown in and thank god we did. My OH got sick and died before he had a chance to enjoy any retirement - the bit he had was with me looking after him. He had moved to part time working from age 42 - it seemed mad to many but proved to be the right decision.

Life is all about risk and trying to protect from every risk means that you can fail to live the moment and miss so much.

Basically OP, it’s a personal decision.

You sound like your instinct is living well below your means now and preparing for the future. If stopping doing this would make you feel guilty then why bother, there’s no point whatsoever.

Just because some strangers on the internet (including me) say that their own personal preference is to spend more in the here and now, that’s not going to change how you feel.

This is my approach. We have a mortgage, excellent pensions, high public sector incomes in competitive fields (so pretty secure), income protection and life insurance, no debt beyond mortgage but very minimal savings (as in I think people would be horrified to know our income and savings ratio 🤣).

We are on a high income, absolutely could save more, but we had our kids young and I don’t see the value in living minimally now to been flooded with more cash than we need in our 50s onwards. Retiring early is still possible with our pensions. But right now, priority is enjoying our children’s childhoods, and our youth. I’m more scared of living a smaller life than I am of potential financial misfortunes, the former is more possible in our circumstances. We’re not stupid, we live to our means and we have ways and means if things go wrong, but I think our risk based approach is sensible for our circumstances.

We are retiring this year at 55 and starting to spend and drip feed it away to young adult children when they need it most. Neither of my parents made it to 70. PIL (wealthy) lived like paupers and are now watching it disappear in IHT and care home fees.
I’ve been in and out of care homes all my working life and if I get to 80 plus I’ll take my chances. The best care is not always that privately provided!
Die with zero!

I do save, but i’m 49 and only just buying a house so can’t be too reckless. But a very close friend of mine took a pension lump sum of 25k at 55, and I cautioned her against buying a camper van and living the dream. So glad she didn’t listen to me and did it and she died suddenly at 57. So I always try and remember that, we won’t all grow old, so yes save for your future but don’t forget to live.

The people who say “F it, life is for living now”, often then have the example of an early death in the family. Statistically this still happens far less than people living into old age - we still have an aging population. people are still living longer.

What you’re comfortable living on when elderly Vs ‘enjoying’ now is entirely subjective and your personal preference. We will all have totally individual and personal views on an acceptable lifestyle - none are wrong. All are right for that person.

I personally work in a high pressured job. I can’t do this until legal retirement age. I will aim to retire before so I need to consider pension pot to a certain living standard, then savings to bridge the gap. Maybe I will die before I use that - but more likely I won’t. The ideal of being elderly and worrying about food or putting heating on is simply not a life I would want. Therefore saving for me is key.

Please ignore the people saying fuck it, spend it. I've just hit 60 and I'm so grateful I could access two of my pensions early, as it's meant I could cut my hours right back.

We don't know your age or how you're investing your money, just make sure it's in a decent fund. Have a good look at James Shack or Rebel Finance School on YouTube for great advice.

You do need balance. You should be enjoying life too. You are allowed holidays!

Go for a middle ground. If you are someone who reaches old age or suffers ill health or whose livelihood is impacted by AI and you need to retrain etc, you will be glad of the savings, so don't ignore it altogether.

https://amzn.eu/d/04lxO84B

There’s a book called Die With Zero that’s worth a read if you are conflicted. Everyone in my family dies young (mum had throat cancer and a heart attack and died, her sister had an aneurysm in her 30s and died, her brother had oesophageal cancer and died) so maybe I have a different perspective but life is for living! There is a middle ground where you save some thing (even if tiny) and spend some thing. I don’t think you need to do one or the other necessarily.

Yes, I agree with this approach OP and I’m trying to do the same.

I’ve had two family members in recent years who had lots of plans to start enjoying life after retirement, but died less than two years after retiring 😔

I’ve just had a year of fuckit after losing 4 family members in 3 years. Nothing super wild (though about to go on a long holiday) but a year of not being frugal and sensible and it was totally worth it.
Neither my mum or my sister lived to state pension age and I’ve had a bit of a need to do things that they couldn’t.

Life is for living. Neither of my parents got to 50 years old. As long as you have some money set aside for the future, don't feel guilty about enjoying life!

I agree it will probably change but abolishing it would need decades of notice and planning so anyone above probably 30 has enough time to reasonably start making their own arrangements. I agree with you op...Im an sp to teens. Work hard, full time. I don't really have savings but am a teacher so good pension in place. I don't live extravagantly by any means but I will find the money for a UK holiday, a sky subscription, tickets to a stadium event maybe once a year ..more for the kids than me but yes, life is to live.