AIBU to feel hurt I’m excluded from partner’s friend group?

I'm horrified that you wouldn't be invited and think this the most appalling manners.

I’d wonder is he considered a good looking man, not to you, but honestly. I ask as the sort of photo and comment women usually do to the man they least fancy,.

Hope you never invited them round to yours?

Is he generally a people pleaser? If so then maybe he just hasn’t put this woman straight and the friends are cheeky f**kers. Is your DPs kit etc being given as a wedding gift to them?
have you spoken to him about her yet?

Is he generally a people pleaser? If so then maybe he just hasn’t put this woman straight and the friends are cheeky f**kers. Is your DPs kit etc being given as a wedding gift to them?
have you spoken to him about her yet?

They sound like users. Have the other male friends been told 'no plus one'?

You need access to his phone to know what's going on. Walks like a duck, talks like a duck and all that. I'm sorry OP but objectively you have reasons to be suspicious. I hope he's telling the truth and that nothing is going on with the new woman but you need to know for sure. Would be quite disgusting for the whole friendship group to cover up his affair but I have seen it happen.

Do you know this for a fact or is this what your dh is telling you?

If it’s true he should tell them to fuck off. Maybe charge them “mates rates” if he wants to do them a favour.

Years ago I had a hobby. I can't say what as it would be outing but it wasn't cycling, triathlon or golf.
The group leader was married and his mistress was one of the hobby group.
I'm sure plenty in the group would have known his wife and not said anything.

Eewww, that’s horrible!
Not only is there the betrayal by the partner, all the bloody mates are in on it as well😠
You would hope that someone would spill the beans and put a stop to it…

Nailed it...

Nailed it...

But he won’t. Because he doesn’t want her there.

According to HIM.

Yes it’s our teen who wanted to go and would be a help to his Dad with all the kit

Two scenarios IMHO:

• These so-called ‘friends’ of DP are taking the piss. CFs. If they had to hire the equipment, they’d presumably have to pay for two people to bring it, set up and take down. Yet when their ‘friend’ agrees to do it for free, they won’t even agree to his son helping him (unless the son doesn’t stay and has to slope off home alone and come back at the end). Or expect their ‘friend’ to manage alone. When there are 500 guests at the party! Would anyone actually be that tight?

• Your DP is lying. They’re grateful for your DP’s help. And quite happy to have your son there. And you too. But your DP doesn’t want your son (or you) there because it means he won’t be able to crack on with flirty woman.

OP, it’s no wonder you feel so low. Though many of us would be raging about either scenario.

Given, you’re hearing all of these explanations second hand via your DP (e.g. his friend also doesn’t know if his DP will get an invite), I’m sorry to say (unless/until I saw proof to contrary) I’d be erring towards scenario 2. He’s lying.

That’s why (as I said earlier) I’d go straight to the wedding couple and ask directly if they’re planning to invite me (on pretext of checking diary dates for other plans). If bride and groom are complicit in what your DP wants/affair, they may still cover for him, but at least they’d have to tell you directly you’re excluded - which will certainly make them look like CFs.

I’m struggling to think of an acceptable alternative but feel free to enlighten me.
it’s clearly upset OP.

You certainly do. Happened to a relative of mine - 40 years ago. Whole friendship group aware he was having an affair with someone else (divorced) in the group. Yet they all kept being friends with the wife, even when the cheating husband and OW were both present. Wife totally unaware. Until he left her and kids for OW.

Maybe these days someone would have the decency to let the wife know. But maybe not if wife isn’t much part of the group or disliked. Or women partners are too meek to say anything or “don’t want to interfere”.

Of course it isn't. This woman is either extremely odd or there's something going on. Either way the OP's partner should be cutting ties with her.

That’s bullshi and makes you look like you’re trying ro stir up drama

Op, there is a problem with this flirty woman. It’s not usual to put pictures like that with captions like that on your socials unless you a) believe you are in a relationship with the person b) want to cause drama within the group or/and couple c) are batshit.
if your DP is innocent he should want nothing to do with someone who is impacting your life in this way. You need to speak to him.

I don't know. I'm quite old too.

But, if he is having an affair, it's unlikely none of them know.