AIBU to feel hurt I’m excluded from partner’s friend group?

There are a few posts, I don't think they've been removed. OP was wearing a t-shirt from an organisation called 'Let Women Speak'. Have a read about them and decide for yourself what you think. I think it's batshit that an organisation claiming to fight for women's rights puts so much effort into opposing a single minority community and apparently calls anyone who disagrees a homophobe and a misogynist (see OP's note above). Meanwhile, most women don't feel safe walking down the street and it's not trans men or women that are responsible for that fear.

Standing up for women's rights isn't hate.

TERF is a term trans rights activists use to try and shut down debate - but it means Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist. And the Trans we exclude are the male ones. Men. No one is denying the existence of them, don't be so ridiculous. How could we, we're constantly bombarded with slogans about how they're the most targeted, downtrodden, vulnerable group of people in the world, despite all evidence to the contrary.

If you have a problem that Woman means Adult Human Female, then fine. But words mean things.

I imagine this changes how most people would have voted in the poll. me included. Whilst you are free to think whatever you want (however abhorrent) the minute others know about your views they are likely to react to them.
Your hate is why you have been excluded from the group. If you didn’t deny the existence of a group of people then you would’ve treated differently to how you have been treated.

Where does it say that the T-shirt was anti trans?

I have looked at every one of the OP's posts, and excluding the last one, which appeared after my last one questioning this, there is nothing.

Has a post been removed?

OP confirmed which t-shirt it was in another post.

apparently a while ago the bride-to-be spotted me in the street wearing a women’s rights T-shirt.

How on earth are @SarzWix and @TheCheekyCyanHelper getting from this ^^ that she is transphobic or a TERF? Isn't that a bit of a stretch?

She simply stated it was a women's rights T-shirt.

Really, this is irrelevant. The t-shirt is marketed to 'gender critical' women, and worn by them. Anyone who supports trans friends or family will know that. And yeah, if an acquaintance of mine wore it, they wouldn't be invited to socialise with people who they deem to not exist.

I got Designer to make one ...

Oh, come on. If 'woman' doesn't mean adult human female, what does it mean?
What about 'mare', 'hen', 'ewe' and 'doe', can you define them too, please?

What's a space fir bigot?

Ew, I wouldn't invite OP anywhere either. I have no space fir bigots in my life.

Are you close to any of the other women in the group? Are they invited as plus ones? Seems likely if there’s 500 people at the reception.
I know that my OH would neither attend himself or allow the use of equipment if I wasn’t included in the invite.

Thank you for the clarification.

This. Some say it's transphobic to define the word 'woman'.
https://www.letwomenspeak.org/the-original-woman-t-shirt

Where does OP say it was a transphobic t shirt? I thought she said it was a feminist top so I assumed something from The spark company or similar.

The entitlement of some people. I want to borrow your expensive equipment, I want you to work at our wedding, I'll reward you with something you can't use and your partner can't come.
Your partner needs to tell them to sod off. No kudos with being used and abused .

Your partner is doing it so he's not excluded from the friendship group & it's an ego pump & popularity boost to be asked. Backing OP up is secondary to his want to be wanted.

DH used to be a wedding DJ (many years ago!) so he was invited to many weddings to provide free entertainment. Sometimes I was invited, sometimes I wasn't. He loved the label of being DJ X and the go-to for everyone.

It took him finally tiring of doing the DJing for free and a few incidents - including people baulking at paying a small amount for his expenses because it was his 'gift', and a colleague not even providing him a meal or a seat at a table, to realise I was right all along - he was being used for free entertainment and me being excluded was cruel (I often didn't know the people well enough). He stopped. So did the contact from many people....

Just what i was going to say

Oh grow up, you silly virtue signalling prat. (And no, "Reform voters" and what you call "transphobes" ie women who understand reality, many of whom are VERY left wing, are not the same demographic). Give me STRENGTH.

Personally, I think you're a thick bigot.Wouldn't want to go to your wedding either.Thankfully most of my friends are neither this dim or tribal.

Doesn't matter what OP's t-shirt or beliefs are, the bride is absolutely entitled to not invite her (and their teenage son), but somewhat less entitled to expect the DH to stump up equipment and time as a favour.

Oh I absolutely would.

Transphobes and Reform voters will not be welcome at my wedding. None of those bad vibes.

Nobody can change sex. Ever. anyone who ever says otherwise is either lying or has been grossly deluded which does the world no favours. You wouldn’t support her being excluded if she wore a reform shirt.

Have you said point blank I can see your friends approval matters a lot to you. Have you considered how important your wife being ostracised should be? What is a marriage to you anyway? If you go, be aware you’ll need a babysitter. I don’t look after our kids anymore so you can hang out with and do major favours for judgy arseholes who deliberately exclude your wife of many years. I feel like I’ve been taken for granted for a long long time supporting your social life while you’ve neglected me with your blokes only chat the other women get invited to and your major favours for weddings your wife isn’t welcome at. I’ll be out that day and night and much more often from now on, you are telling me loud and clear I need a social life that is independent of you and I’ll be building that while you do the parenting and cleaning support I’ve done for you for many years. If you go to this wedding and do this huge favor, we aren’t the same.

the truth is a real husband says mate, get a grip. You’ve excluded my wife from your wedding, I don’t give a shit about your free bar payment rubbish, she’s the woman I go home to every night and I won’t be lending my equipment, have you not thought for a moment about what your doing to my marriage to get a cheap favour for yours? Your marriage is not more important to me than my marriage and you’re not even a friend if you think it should be!

My dh would do this even if it were his brothers wedding.