AIBU to feel hurt I’m excluded from partner’s friend group?

@Oldknowe, it is troubling that your Partner wants to please these people at your expense.

The flirty woman publicly humiliated you by posting the ‘finding love’ post with the affectionate photo with P, yet he failed to read her the riot act and insist that she take it down. Likewise, he still plans to provide his services and equipment at the reception even though the bride is publicly calling you names. In my view he is massively letting you down and is clearly showing the group that they rate higher with him than you do.

How has he explained away his above disloyalty? How does he explain lying to you about the new group chat being for men only?

He is very invested in attending that reception. Knowledge is strength, so I would be examining his phone to look for his chat with Ms Flirt.

With no basis for this, I've suspected from the beginning that they're selling tickets to their amazing evening reception, with 500 people attending. Hoping to cover their wedding costs by charging the guests, who'll feel like they're missing out or being churlish if they tell the happy couple to fuck off. Free disco = more profit for them (and them, it's a genderless wedding!)

This is a completely random guess - but do let me know if I'm right 😉

This.

Did he explain the lovey-dovey post with the "crazy woman" ?

If I were your husband, I wouldn't be lending equipment or helping to set up the wedding of someone who excluded my wife and called her names behind her back. Fuck that. It's interesting to see that this woman's "principles" don't preclude her from asking for freebies!

Honestly, I think your husband is being a bit wet. Why does he care so much what his mates think when they don't have his back? And he doesn't have yours either...

I agree.

This sounds improbable.

500 people ?? Do they all work for Ryanair and his friend has invited all the terminal staff? Are they holding it in an aircraft hanger?

If they can afford to host so many people why don't they have a firm do the lighting/disco etc.?

As Judge Judy would say - "if it doesn't sound right it probably isn't"

It’s really not that unusual a view that biological women’s rights are considerably more important than male delusions, confusions or fetishes.

Yes, I'm smelling a rat here....
I'm sorry OP but you need to keep your eyes and ears open...

I think you just have to take it for what it is- she doesn't want to pay for dinner or drinks to host someone she doesn't socialise with and whose politics she finds offensive. That's fair enough. And I say that as a fellow terf.
Very cheeky though to be asking your husband to help if she has made it plain she dislike his wife. Your husband seems generally good but he needs to cop on and tell her he can't help and to now out.

So is the kudos among his mates more important to him than you, his long-term partner? And that he's okay with this bridezilla insulting you behind your back, but in front of him and everyone else?

He also needs to think about the fact that these people are users, and they only want him there for his sound/light system. He plus others are providing things for free at their wedding which would otherwise cost them a fortune. Yet they aren't even prepared to invite them to the wedding itself, and don't want to offer any more than a few drinks as a thank-you, let alone invite plus ones.

It’s a TERF t-shirt. No assumptions were made, the t-shirt is a well known and overtly politicised garment.

OP has since confirmed she’s a TERF. The bride does not like TERFs, so has not invited her to her wedding.

Love this! Well done @Oldknowe

be glad you don’t have to be with them for a whole day

Good on you OP.

FWIW keep wearing your badge, keep fighting for women’s rights here in Scotland and ditch the folk who disagree.

I must be missing something here. What is the issue with an adult human female T-shirt?

Did it have something offensive written on it?

Someone else said 'Was it an Adult Human Female' t-shirt, and the OP said 'Yes that shirt'. (I'm paraphrasing, but I can't be bothered combing the thread for the actual posts)

That was after I queried it.

I don't have a strong opinion on this but I was curious to understand why it was assumed it was a TERF T-shirt when it wasn't mentioned at all by the OP at that point.

This is exactly why anyone wearing a TERF T-shirt would be uninvited from my wedding (and my life overall).

Those are some of my dearest friends you're talking about and I will not risk exposing them to this kind of shit at my event.

Just scroll up a few posts and you'll see the OP confirming the t-shirt, and their views. Which as others have said, they are entitled to. What they aren't entitled to is to assume those views are acceptable to others 🤷🏼‍♀️ As I said previously, I would not invite a person with those prejudices to an event that trans people I care about are attending. I would be a lot more blunt about why they weren't being invited though.

It was an adult human female tshirt. So despite the op having been with the grooms good friend her dh for 20 years, brought up their kids, facilitated him to spend many evenings out with these people while they also cut her out of the chat group, they have decided based on one tshirt that she is an irremediably horrible person who everyone else they know needs to be protected from and also they feel entitled to request significant favors from her dh at their wedding that they’ve excluded her from. Is it no dc at the wedding or is it jsut no tainted dc of people like the op. What pathetic judgy fuckers they are and people like this are part of the reason why the world is going to the dogs. People who cannot see beyond black and white, people who write someone completely off to the extent they will massively disrupt their community and treat their own friends badly ie the ops dh, and based on one tshirt seen once every other interaction becomes irrelevant. Is bad. Must be removed. Cannot be allowed to taint our lives. Total fucking hypocrites when it’s their behaviour here that preaches and lives intolerance and hate but also please do us huge favours.

I have used the See All function and cannot see anywhere in the OP's posts that it was a TERF T-shirt. Where is this post of the OP's that says it is? Has it been deleted?

I never said OP wasn't entitled to an opinion. I said the organisation that designed those t-shirts was batshit and I'm entitled to my opinion too.

There are conversations needed about how we share public spaces and how we keep everyone safe. You don't need to be extreme to do that, you can try and keep everyone safe regardless of their identity.

@PlainSailingWeather the OP is entitled to her opinion and to wear what she likes. I would like to feel safe both in the street and in the toilet I been assigned to from birth- as is my legal right.

@Oldknowesounds like you had a lucky escape. I second the ‘find your tribe’ post though!