AIBU to feel hurt I’m excluded from partner’s friend group?

I have just read a post on Reddit where a bride had invited the OP and her husband to a wedding event, then a week prior to the event decided that OPs husband can’t come, despite other male friends and partners still being invited. The OP said straight away ‘you’ve not included him so I’m not coming’ and it made me think of this situation.

A weekend away from him (and the situation) sounds good.

This group of “friends” sounds utterly toxic!
You’d think they have the basic manners to invite you when they want your dh’s equipment - calling a 20-year relationship a “plus one” is ridiculous!

Something doesn't add up - don't think your DP is telling you the full story. I would be suspicious of what he has chosen to tell you.

You need a t-shirt with the definition of loyalty on it as your partner has no idea what it means. It would be the end of the line for me if my DH was so disloyal.

Oh my god, I had forgotten he was providing equipment and time for this wedding as well!

Absolutely not OP. This woman threatened you with physical violence and he’s going to go out of his way to offer time and effort to her wedding?!? Really???

At what point will you tell him this is a dealbreaker?

Actually just remembered that at the start of this thread your DH had told you that you were not included in the new chat group because it was now a blokes only chat. Then you found out there were women in there too.

Your DH said he was surprised you weren't invited to the wedding and was going to ask the others if their partners were invited. Acting like he didn't know why, when all the time he knew that this vile woman had threatened to punch you in the face. The second she uttered those words he should have told her she was disgusting and walked away from the group, never looking back.

Sorry OP 💐, he's not just failing to stick up for you, he's been lying to you all along.

My partner and I have the same views yet he's treated well by her and I'm threatened and excluded!

Which leads me to believe that your DH espouses one set of views to you, and a different set to her and her friends. For me this has gone from an annoyance that he's not backing you to a relationship breaker if he does this wedding. She's threatened to punch you in the face and he's giving up time and equipment to do her a massive favour. He needs to state which camp he is really in, and you need to consider your position from there. This is without even considering the weird OW photograph.

Wow… been silently watching this thread before now, but my god, the update.

Firstly, I wouldn’t be attending this misogynist’s wedding anyway, so put that out of your head.

Secondly… your husband is still friends with someone who said they would punch you in the face? Nope. I’d be giving him an ultimatum… go to the wedding, and I’ll seriously be considering our relationship because you obviously are not my partner, you do not have my back.

Thirdly… thank you for supporting women, children and the LGB community in the way you thought you could by attending rallies and showing your support.

Fourth and finally… she’s a cunt. And a two-faced cunt at that. One thing if she had the balls (like her trans friends Im sure) to actually have a conversation with you about your views. But to threaten you with violence like a coward behind your back, and for your husband, and possibly his friends to stand by? They’re all despicable.

How did your partner react at the time? He should have told Bridezilla that her threat was completely unacceptable and that as it happened, he held the same views as you.

Have you read the OP's updates?

This woman wants to punch the OP in the face.

She sounds a nasty piece of work.

Her not wanting you at her wedding Durant make her bridez8lla. You thinking you have a right to be there makes you something even worse.

This is awful OP. I would expect my husband to stand up to anyone who made threats against me. It speaks volumes that your DH isn’t sticking up for you.

I can't believe your husband is still friends with someone who said they would punch you in the face.

None of this really adds up, or at least not in the order you’re saying it happened.

And if it did happen in this order then your DH doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

I can’t get away from thinking he is the common denominator in this strangeness.

When did she say this to him? Was it last spring after seeing you, or more recently?

All this is coming from your partner. Are you absolutely sure it’s all true? Are you excluded from the chat vs a new one started for some reason and he said ‘Don't add Oldknowe, she doesn’t like it’, she didn’t invite you to the wedding as ‘she’s busy that weekend and can’t come’?

He's weak.

So, why doesn't your partner have your back?

I'm so, so glad I didn't take my son to her house after Christmas

Sorry but I’ve lost track of the timings - you wearing the T-shirt, her inviting you and your son over, organising the wedding - which order are they in?