AIBU to feel hurt I’m excluded from partner’s friend group?

Too much of this isn’t adding up.

They went to the effort of setting up a new WA group just to exclude you?

You’ve only just met this woman, but there is a photo of her kissing him from a while back?

A wedding for 500 people, no invites have gone out, but you know the OW is invited, and that you are apparently the only person not invited.

Despite having a wedding for 500 people, they are using him for equipment to save some money.

Someone isn’t telling the truth here. I predict at some point there will be an affair added to this story. Maybe when OP updates us as she has said she would, we’ll find out some more.

Completely reasonable to feel very hurt by it all. I'm afraid the issue isn't just his friends, it's him. That Insta post is pretty blatant. His response, from the cheaters handbook of 'them bitches is crazy', was as outrageous as the post.

It seems that he's cheating, and they all know it and are enabling it. I'm gathering from your posts that you've a kid (teenager) but aren't married? You need to look at your financials so you know your position, then sit him down and start the conversation with 'this is your only chance to be honest with me, obviously you think I'm dumb enough to accept your ridiculous explanations when clearly you're cheating'.

You mean he said it was. It could also have just been a chat group without the op.

Simple. No invitation, no sound and lighting equipment.

Normally I read these kind of posts and think the woman is being a bit precious and clingy but you are definitely not in the wrong here OP.

I’d think the friends are all aware of an affair with your DH and the new friend/gushy woman, the chat group was to allow it without your knowledge.
These ppl are not your friends.
Id be be raging if I saw a post like that but then again my DP isn’t a cunt & respects me.

Sounds to me like it's your OH who is excluding you. I can smell the bullshit.

Exactly.

This woman has previously posted a picture of herself and my partner with a caption like "she thinks she's dreaming but knows when she wakes it will still be true that she's found love!" on Instagram.

What did I just read? That's pretty blatant.

^ this. Op needs to call this stupid home whrecker out.

My horrible hunch is they are letting him bring his plus one of choice ...

Sorry op. I hate it when MN makes trouble in a marriage, so I wouldn't say that lightly, but I really cannot get past that caption she posted. And the fact he has left it there.

Or just 'Do you think this is post is appropriate given that I am his partner of 20 years and we have children together? WTF? Sort yourself out.'

Why? It’s so transactional to not help a friend so you can leverage your wife into an event where she’s not even part of the friendship group. I’m surprised people are so entitled.

This whole situation is disrespectful and shows a lack of respect for not only you, but your husband - because why wouldn’t they allow him to bring a plus 1 when he’s saving them all that money by providing equipment?

So they want his help and equipment for the wedding but aren't inviting his wife or child? I think he should be annoyed at that. I'd want to charge them or tell them to stuff it!

It apparently was to begin with, then op found out partners had been allowed to join.

Whoooah ! hold up so let me get this right, they have set up another group with the same people except you and added a single woman that posts

(This woman has previously posted a picture of herself and my partner with a caption like "she thinks she's dreaming but knows when she wakes it will still be true that she's found love!" on Instagram.)

and your feeling hurt to be excluded and not invited to someones wedding??

is this not screaming hes having or at least hoping to have an affair with this woman and everyone else knows??

This with bells on, been there. He’s definitely shagging her and all his friends know. He’s probably spinning a line about how awful you are to his friends and how he’s waiting for his time to leave but he can’t as you will do something stupid.

You know nothing is wrong with you so stop with that nonsense. If you want sympathy as you are married to a sleaze, ask for it.

Sounds like no plus one's, very small wedding being thrown together.

If they are inviting 500 people how on earth does this not include plus ones..

I'd be looking a little deeper, if I were you.

So you, a partner of 20 years, is not invited but the Instagram woman they only met a year ago is? OP, I think your DP isn’t being straight with you. The sums aren’t adding up.

Like hell my Dh would be helping set up a friend’s wedding and saving them a shedload of money if me, his wife is 2 decades, was not even invited.

It’s weird you’ve been together 20 years and you aren’t close to his friends. Like I’d never expect to be in a group chat with Dh and his friends, because we’re allowed to have independent social lives. But do you not have them over for lunch or meet up for coffee or drinks? Dh’s friends are as much mine as his after all that time. Sometimes I can’t or don’t go to things, but no one would ever think of not inviting me.

Also who has 500 bloody friends and family to invite to a wedding, but no plus ones or children. Who the hell are they actually inviting?

A few different things at play.

The new "mens only" WhatsApp group. Honestly, leave them to it. It sounds so boring! Is it a little bit of a case of FOMO?

The wedding - yeah that's awful. Makes me wonder why they also left you out of the WhatsApp group when other women were invited, and then this. Especially as they're happy to use equipment from YOUR home for this wedding! CFs. If you were invited to the wedding but not the WhatsApp group would that make you feel better? At this stage, would an invite feel like they just invited you because your partner had a word? Why HASN'T he had a word already? That's really weird to just exclude you. I wouldn't even want to go as an afterthought guest.

Flirt woman. Yes I would be very unhappy if someone did that - posting a photo of herself and your partner, then talking about "true love"? Wtf?

Has your partner ever mentioned this woman? Does it sound like something is bubbling?

OP, I can understand you feeling hurt and annoyed. I think you should click the invite link and join the whatsapp group now though, as it's better to be in it to keep an eye on things and make yourself known.