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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel hurt I’m excluded from partner’s friend group?

437 replies

Oldknowe · 12/03/2026 23:46

So I had thought I got on ok with my partner's friends... I don't go out very often as I have the kids, but I am in their pub group chat.

I noticed it had been pretty quiet on the normally busy chat and mentioned it to my partner.

He said they had set up a new 'blokes only' chat, I wouldn't be able to join... oh well...

The thing is a month later I've found it's not; female partners of some of the others have been added, plus a newly single flirty woman.

(This woman has previously posted a picture of herself and my partner with a caption like "she thinks she's dreaming but knows when she wakes it will still be true that she's found love!" on Instagram.)

Ok so I'm pissed off, it feels awful to be excluded but what can I do.

But now a friend is getting married, there's going to be "an amazing evening reception, with 500 people attending" - all of the friend group are involved, my partner is helping with the set-up of part of it using equipment from our house.

I've just found out I'm not invited.

I feel really bad inside. Desperately low.
What is wrong with me?

OP posts:
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TheCheekyCyanHelper · 21/09/2026 23:27

Bedlingtonwarrior · 21/09/2026 16:44

I read these posts and think why do all these ladies put up with such appallingly bad disrespectful behaviour from so-called partners ???

Don't know, why di people post in threads that haven't been used since April?

Bedlingtonwarrior · 21/09/2026 16:44

I read these posts and think why do all these ladies put up with such appallingly bad disrespectful behaviour from so-called partners ???

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 20/04/2026 23:40

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CJ50Mum · 19/04/2026 07:41

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/03/2026 06:54

This

It is odd isn't it? So of all the 500 guests none are allowed to bring partners?

EstoyRobandoSuCasa · 20/03/2026 22:30

Absolutely! And I hope your DH won't be talked into lending any equipment.

It was high time he stuck up for himself and for you.

GrumpyButOk · 20/03/2026 19:30

Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:36

My partner says he's not going to do it. He says he can see it's wrong and out of order and is very uneasy about the threat. I think he's not really thought about this at all and just said "Oh a party - yes sure!" - it didn't matter it was theirs in particular.

I am so relieved for you OP, your DH has done the right thing. And now Bridezilla can pay for her own damn lighting and sound!

Also, respect to you for standing up for your beliefs. Flowers

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 20/03/2026 08:40

Good to hear the update. It sounds like this bride is the heart of the problems of this group and has basically hijacked it and no one has the balls to stop her!

RampantIvy · 19/03/2026 21:42

Great update.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 19/03/2026 20:55

That’s a good decision (eventually).

99bottlesofkombucha · 19/03/2026 20:34

Thank goodness.

nomas · 19/03/2026 20:13

OneCleverEagle · 19/03/2026 19:58

He's not going to do the free disco at the wedding.
That's great news OP.

Oh that’s good.

Amiacoolorwarmcolour · 19/03/2026 20:09

Bloody hell op it’s a good job the crazy bridezilla doesn’t come across me. I would wear that t shirt and I do box. If she threatened me like that I’d knock the fucker out. And no, I’m not joking.
Block her and her boyfriend out of your life. Tell your dh never to mention the fucktards name again and that she is not welcome in your house- ever.
Stand up for yourself op.
I cannot imagine a situation where I would ever speak to someone again if they treated my dh the way that you have been treated, and vice versa.
Get out and meet new friends op. Go out and let your dh do the babysitting. Like a previous poster said just go out, it doesn’t matter where. Make something up if you have to. You might start looking at your dh differently when you have a new found life.

OneCleverEagle · 19/03/2026 19:58

nomas · 19/03/2026 19:54

He’s not going to do what, sorry?

If he went to this wedding, I would leave him. It shows a complete disrespect for you if he goes.

He's not going to do the free disco at the wedding.
That's great news OP.

nomas · 19/03/2026 19:54

Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:36

My partner says he's not going to do it. He says he can see it's wrong and out of order and is very uneasy about the threat. I think he's not really thought about this at all and just said "Oh a party - yes sure!" - it didn't matter it was theirs in particular.

He’s not going to do what, sorry?

If he went to this wedding, I would leave him. It shows a complete disrespect for you if he goes.

Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:49

AlbieJiggered · 19/03/2026 12:56

None of it adds up.

It may be because I've been really upset and feared the worst at the start. It's been a bit of a journey.

OP posts:
Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:36

My partner says he's not going to do it. He says he can see it's wrong and out of order and is very uneasy about the threat. I think he's not really thought about this at all and just said "Oh a party - yes sure!" - it didn't matter it was theirs in particular.

OP posts:
Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:28

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 19/03/2026 12:20

Is this T shirt the reason you have been excluded from the group? She shouldnt be threatening to punch you in the face over a T shirt!

I think I'd better clarify as I wrote my early posts whilst really upset. There's the friend group that started out as a few blokes in the pub and then the bride and groom are friends of theirs.

OP posts:
AlbieJiggered · 19/03/2026 19:27

Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:24

No, but I believe he's trustworthy, we have been together over 20 years.

They always are until they're not.

Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 19:24

quocket · 19/03/2026 12:55

Have you actually seen this text exchange?

No, but I believe he's trustworthy, we have been together over 20 years.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 19/03/2026 17:22

Oldknowe · 19/03/2026 08:34

Thanks all. He thinks it's a load of old nonsense and despite being mouthy she'd never really punch me - oh to have the confidence of a 6ft+ bloke!
I'm really shaken by all these revelations and am going to have a quiet weekend away from him and it all.

That's not the point, is it?

That's a huge level of disrespect. I'd like to think my partner would choose me over people who regarded me in this way. Let alone a husband of 20 years.

He's just a spineless people pleaser. Would you do a favour for people who spoke about him like that? By going to the wedding and enjoying the party woth everyone else, he's showing you where his loyalties lie and its not with you.

He's pathetic.

GrumpyButOk · 19/03/2026 17:06

The more I think about this thread the more my blood boils. Whatever OPs views are, all bridezilla has to do is to agree to disagree with her. Telling the DH that if OP's seen out in that t-shirt again she will be punched in the face is a sickening threat and is also trying to dictate to OP, an adult woman, what she may and may not wear in public.

I'd be wearing that damn t-shirt 24/7 now. In fact, fuck that, I'd get a hat and coat to match.

ETA: Would get DH one as well while I'm at it.

Manonhere · 19/03/2026 16:42

Oldknowe · 18/03/2026 21:07

Well I've been speaking to my partner some more...
He says bridezilla told him that if she ever sees me wearing the T-shirt again in the street she's going to punch me in the face!
I'm horrified, this has gone way out of the realm of anything I'd imagined, over a T-shirt and not agreeing. I'm horrified he hasn't told me.
I'm so, so glad I didn't take my son to her house after Christmas. I cannot understand why she spoke to me then at all, or invited me over?!
My partner and I have the same views yet he's treated well by her and I'm threatened and excluded!

What! He stood there and let someone speak about you that way! Omg, go and find yourself a man who stands up for toy, I can't believe he still wants to help with the wedding 🤷‍♂️😡

AlbieJiggered · 19/03/2026 12:56

None of it adds up.

quocket · 19/03/2026 12:55

Oldknowe · 13/03/2026 00:47

He's had an early verbal invitation as they want to use his sound and lighting equipment.

Have you actually seen this text exchange?

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 19/03/2026 12:20

Is this T shirt the reason you have been excluded from the group? She shouldnt be threatening to punch you in the face over a T shirt!