Trying to keep this brief so peolle will actually read . But also don’t want to drip feed, im also dyslexic so sorry if this is all over the place
My son turned 15 at the end of Jan. I had him at 16 and my mum wanted me to have an abortion. I refused so she kicked me out
Age 6 he was diagnosed with ADHD after school referred him, he’s not currently on meds as he refuses but has taken Elvanse throughout his life but he hasn’t solidly for quite a while now. Then when he was 7 my younger son was born (now 7 himself).
He was also diagnosed dyslexic at some point but he was a happy child and did ok at school etc, in year 7 we sent him to a local all boys school (state). He seemed to do okay, he was on the school football team and we got him into an outside of school football team and kick-boxing to burn off energy/calm him down as he did show some aggression at times so we wanted to work on his anger on more positive ways if that makes snes e
He stopped seeing his dad shortly after he turned 13, I got him into a new school a mixed school this time mostly so his dad didn't turn up at the school as he has/had PR, his friend that he grew up with (I'm friends with her mum) attends that school so he was happy
Everything seemed to be going well but a few months into being at the school I got a phone call from someone at the school, he had been self harming - not in school but they saw the marks during PE, turns out he’d been doing it for a year since he was 12 but couldn't tell me why and I felt awful at not noticing. Took him to the GP and they were useless and fobbed us off as “hormones”, DS hadn't even started puberty then! But they did refer him to CAMHS but not urgently as he said he wasn't suicidal
We moved house last year previously the boys were sharing a room but now they have their own room. Ds totally changed and started hanging around with some older boys who would hang around the locks park.
He stole vodka from home and drank it straight to try and impress them previously he had never drank - he was 14. He ended up in hospital but was fine physically and put him off for a few months because of how unwell he felt but since turning 15 he’s started again. We took his phone for a few months.
He fell out with one of his new friends (was his gf) because she was on her period and leaked on his bed and he called her disgusting etc and that’s not the boy i brought up. I found that out from his mum and the other friends in the friendship group are reluctant to hang around with him.
During the time he had no phone he started walking the neighbours dog that was the only positive thing he was doing and he got £5 a time from the neighbour
But also during summer he started smoking weed with the older bunch, quit football + kick-boxing and seemed really withdrawn. In september he refused to go to school and he attempted suicide by taking an overdose but i don’t think he really wanted to die as he told us what he’d taken.
CAMHS saw him. They did nothing and refused to give him anything, just offered counselling which he had at 13 after he stopped seeing his dad and hated it and refused after a few sessions.
Since then he’s been on a downward spiral of drinking and weed and messing around on the days he goes into school, he’s been put on report and it’s a nightmare. Other days he doesn’t go at all and says he feels sick. He’s snappy with us and his brother, his brother still wants to get in his bed sometimes as he used to when they were sharing a room and DS previously didn’t mjnd but now he’s being quite horrible to him.
He went out this evening after an argument about his behaviour again at school, I called him at about 8:30 and he sounded drunk tbh and refused to come home yet he said he will when he wants to.
He just messaged me saying he likes boys, i’ve told him it’s fine but to come home, would you bring it up when he’s home? And at what point do I call the police? Any other advice would be appreciated too I feel like i’ve ruined his life just by having him