10month Baby and my mood

You're doing your best, and your baby is loved and cared for. Having a few grounding statements to centre yourself on when things feel intense helps. And better to leave in the cot crying than get disregulated yourself - you have to be calm to give calm. ❤️ We've all been there, and if you need to step out of the room to take a few deep breaths then do.

A bed rail on your side of the bed too makes cosleeping easier. Less chance of you falling out of the bed when baby gets pushy for space.

She’s going through huge developmental steps right now. I found 11 - 16 months the hardest stage so far, we had hourly wake ups at night and DS needed constant attention. Try to get someone else looking after her sometimes so that you get a break, but I think you just need to ride it out and accept it as a normal stage of her development.

We all get frustrated. Sleep deprivation is so hard. Try a few things to help but otherwise just know it will pass. Sending love and solidarity

Sleep deprivation floors the best of us OP. For now, survival mode. Calpol before bed, and at first wake until teeth cut.

If you have a DP, night on, night off for sleep. Whoever gets the night off gets the spare room or couch.

If you don't have a DP, or even if you do, cosleeping naps for the intermediate to catch up on ZZZ.

The cot could be the problem - banging off the bars. Have you tried a travel cot? Mesh sides better sometimes.

Introduce a fave blanket or plushie for the long term gain. Helps settle them in the toddler phase.

Warm babies sleep better so make sure she's not throwing blankets off.

If you're touched out from not getting a break, look for a sitter or ask a friend / DP to take a day off work to give you a day off childcare.

If you're having a shit day, winning formula is car nap + drive through mini mcflurry.

Cosleeping isn't a bad habit as long as sleeping is involved. Most babies & toddlers go through a patch of it.

Chin up, this will pass.

She’s 10 months old and wants to be close! You are not ‘creating a bad habit’ by co sleeping. It’s natural, it’s comforting and she sleeps better. It’s what she needs right now. I have co slept with mine until they were around 12-18 months and they went into their own bed, they are independent sleepers now.

As the parent to 2 non sleepers (woke very 60-90 mins until they were 2), I entirely understand the frustration. I ended up putting a bed in my eldest’s bedroom, and co sleeping with her in there, then gradually retreated once she was asleep. They do go through a regression and seperation anxiety at 8-10 months, so whilst frustrating it’s also incredibly normal.

The good thing is that you know she’s slept well before so hopefully it’s just a blip, and then she’ll be back to normal.

In the meantime, the best you can do is roll with it - ask your partner or a family member to watch her so you can have a little time to yourself if possible, do what you need to do to get through the days / nights, and appreciate its short lived, and you will be able to wee in peace one day! (Although my 4 year old still likes to barge in and ask questions but I’m sure we’ll get there one day 🫠)

I’ll get my coat.

It's peak time for separation anxiety - she needs more reassurance right now not to be pushed into "independence"

She's literally just learned that you and she are separate beings and now you could leave her.

Think of sleep development as a spiral rather than a linear process - sometimes you are on top and it's great and then you go round the bottom and it goes to shit. Unfortunately it's pretty normal for this age.

Get a baby wrap so you can carry her around? Cosleep? Leave the washing up? Go back to work earlier?

Everyone gets frustrated but remember: you have options, she doesn’t.

So she has always slept next to you until you just moved her to her own room and cot? We did this transition earlier and nighttime was ok though they wouldn't nap in the cot in the day. We had a single bed in the room with the cot so I slept there from 3 months. Can you do something similar then you are in the room which might be comforting but she is still in the new cot? Maybe even mattress on floor next to cot to start with? Or cot in your room? Might ease the transition and also skip trying to use the cot in the daytime and definitely not when she isn't sleepy - we had a separate playpen for the situation you described about chores and nipping to the loo

What do you mean when you say “you’re done”?

The feelings you’re having are completely normal, so please don’t beat yourself up about them. Being a mum can be relentless and exhausting, and there are times when the exhaustion and constant demands can become overwhelming. When that happens, it’s not unusual to react in ways you later wish you hadn’t. it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a bad mum.

What support do you have?