10month Baby and my mood

Yes, they do need to move at this age, they need to explore and develop their new skill. I think it’s worth baby proofing the house as much as possible because the ‘moving around and taking everything they can without being able to use their brains yet’ stage will continue for many more months. Lock the drawers which contain dangerous stuff, put chemicals in cupboards out of reach, etc, but otherwise I’d just let her get on with it.

Well let her do that? We've always let our daughter move around as she wishes in the house. She needs movement to help physical development and learn to walk. Will help her sleep to, the move she moves!

Ignore this Holier than Thou person - I shouted it directly at my 13m old once, she is not an abused child and we have a lovely relationship.

You're a human being being pushed to your limit - it's judgey bastards like this poster that makes mums who are struggling reluctant to be honest and ask for help.

It's clearly not ideal or the kind of parent you want to be but calling you abusive will never be helpful. Now you have recognised what's going on hopefully you can get some support in coming up with some better strategies to manage it

This is the current thread I mentioned. There is a lot of advice and tips for coping with middle of the night tiredness. It might be worth a read.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5502513-aibu-about-how-dh-handled-our-toddler-at-2am?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

If a poster mentioned that a baby’s Dad had shouted, ‘Shut the Fuck up’ at a 10 month old baby, there would be uproar on here. In fact, there is a current thread where a Dad was angry with a toddler for not going back to sleep. He did not swear. A lot of posters were telling the OP to kick him out. Telling a baby to , ‘Shut the Fuck up’, is completely out of order. If you carry on swearing at her, she will start to parrot it back and Nursery will become aware.
You need to stop yourself now. It is abusive and wrong and a slippery slope. She is a baby and you are the adult. Imagine there is a camera pointed at you and learn to control yourself. It is not a pretty image however tired you are. Many parents have worse sleep problems and have to get up and go to work in the morning. The Mum in the other thread had a toddler and 4 month old twins. Swearing at a baby is abusive. Do you want to be an abusive mother to a baby?

My first born did not sleep for the first year of their life. Every 45 minute waker. My 2nd born was a brilliant sleeper until a short regression around 9 months. Both times the sleep deprivation was a killer. IME it doesn't matter how long you're sleep deprived for, or if you have it easier or harder than other mums. Sleep deprived is sleep deprived.

I totally get it, I felt the same with all of mine and yelled as you did multiple times.

Honestly, you are reassuring her by being there, even if she is still crying. Put some ear plugs in so you can cuddle but drown the noise a bit, co sleep if it works - it's about survival. If you need to leave the room and take some breaths, do that. It's important to keep you all safe when you are just totally done in.

My worst sleeper now lies in bed til God knows when given the chance - it honestly does end!!

@Whatissleeppp you’ve been lucky that she’s slept through from such a young age, my daughter never slept through and still doesn’t at 4 years old.

I completely understand the frustration, we used to do shift patterns so we both had a chunk of 5 hours uninterrupted sleep.

OP I think you need to acknowledge how lucky you’ve been with her sleep. Mine is 17 months and has never slept through. A bit of perspective might help you, it’s been 2 weeks.
“We can all go back to bed if needs”-do not do this. You need to have a consistent wake up time for babies, otherwise night sleep will get affected.
Maybe she needs to reduce her naps so she is tireder for bedtime? Sleep needs reduce as they get towards 12 months so very likely she isn’t needing as much sleep within 24 hours.
And why do you need to put her in the cot whilst you go to the toilet; just put her on the floor. Ofc she wants to be near you.

This is what I was getting at earlier. Both of mine were terrible sleepers, but it just completely becomes normal. I am so used to coping on very little, broken sleep, that I feel worse after a good night when my body realises what it’s been missing! My friends with good sleepers were completely floored by a run of bad nights. Your body just adjusts to your normal!

Oh I’m not saying it’s not hard! I’ve gone through all different phases with mine, one sleeping terribly at first and then getting better, the other in reverse and waking multiple times all night long, then sleeping through for a while only to wake every single night to do a wee etc!!
I just mean such a short stint of poor sleep or temperature is usually just an underlying niggle and it’s like it’s shit but what else can you do but roll with it. If not world ending if your baby is suddenly wakeful for a very short period.

Do you have any tips for how you got your baby in the cot sleeping alone to begin with? We’re at 4 months and cosleep every night and every nap is a contact nap.

At 4 months my baby is still awake every 2 hours (at best!). If I’m still awake at 4am I’m allowed a hot chocolate and to buy the contents of one of my online shopping baskets.

For sleep deprivation in the day, I co-sleep her first and last nap. I also drink a coffee after the first nap. Caffeine has a big effect on me so this helps.

Your partner needs to give you a few minutes a day, whether that’s them getting up with the baby first thing or taking the baby for a bit after work. I am obsessed with my baby but we all need at least one pee a day in peace!

Its so common for them to need us, I think it's amazing you got all that time of her sleeping through already!! None of mine slept through until well over a year. If she sleeps when you bring her in with you, I'd let her.

I’m getting 5 hours of broken sleep a night so I feel what you’re saying. But in defence with my previous good sleeper a bad night was really hard and couldn’t moan to anyone as there is no sympathy lol. Maybe because it’s a shock to the system and no coping strategies.

fighting co sleeping is a way to loose precious sleeping time

Can you alternate co sleeping with your partner and/or have him get up early with her and let you get a couple of hours uninterrupted? My eldest was a terrible sleeper and a proper snuggler and my DH used to take him into the spare room at 4am so I could get at least 3-4hrs uninterrupted before he went to work, then once I stopped night feeds we started alternating who slept with him and it was absolutely life-saving for me. I loved the cuddles but I absolutely could not sleep properly with a wiggly toddler next to me. I am so envious of people who can!

As @NotSmallButFunSize says she is struggling with separation and needs comfort and security. Broken sleep is difficult to cope with but unfortunately goes with the territory during the first few years, the fact that she’s slept so well from 6 weeks is unusual, sorry. There’s nothing wrong with cosleeping, get comfy and go with it, she won’t be in your bed forever, but it’s not a ‘bad’ habit, it’s what she needs to feel secure.

oh, also, you’re not going to pee alone until she starts school. Sorry

I mean I don’t want to sound like a dick but 2 weeks is literally nothing.
Shes slept through for 9 months and you’re at your wits end because she’s probably feeling a bit unwell for only 2 weeks?

My first was a good sleeper in her cot until 11 months when she could stand, and similar she would just stand and cry until we co slept.

we put a double bed in her room and one of us co slept with her, DH ended up mostly co sleeping because I would wake everytime she moved and he wouldn’t so everyone slept well.

then start to leave her asleep and return to your own bed. Maybe not best advice for instant solve but I couldn’t solve it.

a bad night when they usually sleep well is so hard somehow. My second is 11 months now as wakes every 90 mins always has and it’s my new normal.

Just keep her in your bed if she sleeps there. Why are you battling and making things difficult for you both ?
she’s a baby and she needs you.
it’s only for a season.
I kept all of my three in with me. I bought a massive massive bed. They all want their own bed eventually. Still have my youngest in. Zero regrets. Zero tears.

I think it’s sometimes harder when you’re used to them sleeping - my friends with good sleepers found the nights they slept badly so awful but I think it you’ve a bad sleeper you get used to it 😅

Soemtimes you’ve just got to roll with the punches! My 2 year old often comes into bed and it baffles me how someone so small can take up sooo much room! She also has to be curled under my armpit like a little pet cat. I get through it by just snugging her close and reminding myself one day she won’t want this and I’ll miss the cuddles!