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To wonder what happens to the maids and nannies etc when people flee Dubai/the Middle East

181 replies

morningmists · 12/03/2026 07:42

I saw news stories of lots of pets being left behind, but I can't see any mention of the maids and nannies etc ? I am guessing it wouldn't always be simple to get them to England due to visas etc -so do they get booked on flights back to their homes?

My mum had a nanny growing up and she loved her as much as she loved her mum so I imagine this is a hard separation for some

OP posts:
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8
Forthesteps · 12/03/2026 11:12

Seedlingsparrow · 12/03/2026 11:09

There are plenty of abusive women in this country too. This is a current news story on the BBC
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/clyve7vn7m7t

So? We know modern slavery exists in the UK.

It's institutionalised in the ME. Not the same.

The Dubai defenders need to take a long, cold, hard look at themselves. But they probably won't.

AgentPidge · 12/03/2026 11:11

MidnightPatrol · 12/03/2026 08:08

You can get a temporary visa to bring a domestic worker to the UK with you for up to six months, if they work in your household.

Most of the Brits who have a maid over there aren't going to have one in the UK, just as the rest of us don't.

Sprawling · 12/03/2026 11:07

Jk987 · 12/03/2026 10:48

That may be true for a minority but you sound bitter. Hope you wouldn’t just piss off back to England and forget about the person who left their own family to clean up after you for little pay.

I'm neither English, the employer of a maid, nor currently living in Dubai.

Sprawling · 12/03/2026 11:05

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:14

Dubai punish poor people harshly for stepping out of line

Respectfully, I used to live there. Have you? If not, don’t you think I might be slightly more qualified to comment?

When I lived there, I wasn’t married to my now-husband (it was actually illegal to cohabit, though the law has now changed, I gather) so he couldn’t sponsor my visa, so I needed to leave the country every month to renew my tourist visa. Sometimes we’d time it to coincide with going away for a weekend, but the rest of the time, I would get together with people I knew in the same position, and we would carshare to the Omani border, drive over into Oman, do a U-turn and re-enter the UAE. Lots of the other cars doing the same thing were minibuses of foreign prostitutes.

Prostitution is illegal, too, and the penalties are huge, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. There’s huge demand. About 2/3 of the Dubai population is male.

As regards maids sleeping with their employers, of course it happens. I can’t give you statistics, because, while you could certainly report to the police in the past (when extramarital sex was illegal), you’d be letting your husband in for arrest and potential imprisonment too, so most of the stuff that made the headlines was maids being reported by employers for sleeping with their boyfriends on the premises. If the DH was involved, mostly the wife just took the maid straight to the airport. The usual advice was to supervise her packing and check her bags for stolen items.

There was an entire set of racist Dubai urban myths positioning foreign maids as superficially submissive but in fact desperate for rich expat husbands and prepared to have sex to bag one, about employers specifying ‘plain and over 35’ to recruiters, about ‘headache money’ (new maid arrives and asks employer if her pay will be topped up by ‘headache money’, ie, when the wife doesn’t want to have sex, the DH goes to the maid’s room instead) etc etc.

It was a fascinating place for all the wrong reasons.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:58

Jdnd · 12/03/2026 10:48

They changed the laws on this and decriminalised sex outside of marriage. Now the law is both parties have to be 18 and consenting. What happened before was completely horrific and wrong but they changed things up.

That's good for them and the small number of influencers who will benefit

But it's naive to think that this law changes anything for working women on visas from poor countries

Put a foot wrong there and suffer the harsh consequences - these maids aren't having affairs for the fun of it

Jk987 · 12/03/2026 10:48

Sprawling · 12/03/2026 07:54

I wouldn’t sentimentalise it too much. When I lived there, employers were continually discovering their maid wearing their clothes or in the hot tub or in bed with their husbands or casting spells on the family dog and proudly recounting how they frogmarched her to the airport and watched, arms folded, as she cleared passport control.

Imagine exactly the kind of Mner who comes on here to recount how they ‘stood up for themselves’ when someone challenged them for the buggy space and then the whole bus burst into applause. Only they probably did actually fire the maid.

That may be true for a minority but you sound bitter. Hope you wouldn’t just piss off back to England and forget about the person who left their own family to clean up after you for little pay.

Jdnd · 12/03/2026 10:48

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:40

???

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38013351

No-one working in dubai is sleeping with their bosses husband, the punishments are insane.

They changed the laws on this and decriminalised sex outside of marriage. Now the law is both parties have to be 18 and consenting. What happened before was completely horrific and wrong but they changed things up.

Namingbaba · 12/03/2026 10:45

You shouldn’t make the assumption that because the they’re really rich that they’ll fund flights etc. Some rich people can be so tight. Some of the stories of how “the help” is treated and how little they’re paid in Dubai even before this war is really terrible.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:43

Mosman2020 · 12/03/2026 10:41

That was 10 years ago. Things have changed since then to be fair.

It was 10 years ago, yes, but I don't doubt for a second that this still happens to women with weaker passports.

Terrifying part of the world, despite the Western, white, influencers claiming it's very safe.

morningmists · 12/03/2026 10:43

JacknDiane · 12/03/2026 10:39

How on earth would anyone know unless we are employing nannies and maids in dubai @morningmists??

Well I am sure there are Mumsnetters who do...

OP posts:
Mosman2020 · 12/03/2026 10:42

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:41

America is world's away from dubai

If a maid is sleeping with the married boss, shes being forced to. The punishment for women in dubai is too severe for anything otherwise

Not sure my 18-year-old sister was a willing participant to be fair, Living in help is not a healthy relationship in my opinion

Mosman2020 · 12/03/2026 10:41

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:40

???

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38013351

No-one working in dubai is sleeping with their bosses husband, the punishments are insane.

That was 10 years ago. Things have changed since then to be fair.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:41

Mosman2020 · 12/03/2026 10:31

My sister was a nanny in America. The husband very much considered fucking him as being part of her duties.
Luckily, the wife never found out and not a good place to be homeless.
And they weren’t even rich
The audacity

America is world's away from dubai

If a maid is sleeping with the married boss, shes being forced to. The punishment for women in dubai is too severe for anything otherwise

Mosman2020 · 12/03/2026 10:40

Jdnd · 12/03/2026 10:38

Rape is common on Dubai?!

I would imagine there’s a fair amount of Coercion and unreported yes

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:40

GladHedgehog · 12/03/2026 10:26

Never in the history of the world has punishing people harshly prevented theft, murder, sexual offenses, or abuse of any kind. Neither has it succeeded in totally repressing sexuality, creativity or dissent.

???

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38013351

No-one working in dubai is sleeping with their bosses husband, the punishments are insane.

Dubai skyline, seen from the Palm Beach hotel

British woman 'arrested in Dubai after reporting rape'

A British woman is reportedly accused of extra-marital sex in Dubai after she reports being raped.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38013351

JacknDiane · 12/03/2026 10:39

morningmists · 12/03/2026 08:04

So will their employers fund their flights home if the family is fleeing the country?

How on earth would anyone know unless we are employing nannies and maids in dubai @morningmists??

Jdnd · 12/03/2026 10:38

Rape is common on Dubai?!

catipuss · 12/03/2026 10:36

morningmists · 12/03/2026 07:42

I saw news stories of lots of pets being left behind, but I can't see any mention of the maids and nannies etc ? I am guessing it wouldn't always be simple to get them to England due to visas etc -so do they get booked on flights back to their homes?

My mum had a nanny growing up and she loved her as much as she loved her mum so I imagine this is a hard separation for some

The maids are mostly immigrants so may well go back to their own countries, but I assume they would have to make their own arrangements and they mainly come from very poor countries. Hopefully this won't last long and they will get new jobs quite quickly, perhaps some leavers will carry on paying them to look after the property until they come back (if they go back).

Mosman2020 · 12/03/2026 10:31

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 08:58

Maids sleeping with their bosses husbands

In DUBAI?! 😄😄😫

My sister was a nanny in America. The husband very much considered fucking him as being part of her duties.
Luckily, the wife never found out and not a good place to be homeless.
And they weren’t even rich
The audacity

GladHedgehog · 12/03/2026 10:26

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:14

Dubai punish poor people harshly for stepping out of line

Never in the history of the world has punishing people harshly prevented theft, murder, sexual offenses, or abuse of any kind. Neither has it succeeded in totally repressing sexuality, creativity or dissent.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:14

Sprawling · 12/03/2026 10:06

I’m not understanding your logic. Why not in Dubai?

Dubai punish poor people harshly for stepping out of line

Sprawling · 12/03/2026 10:06

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:04

I would say that rape is common there.

But household staff, low paid and on crappy visas, voluntarily having affairs with married men and stealing or wearing their bosses clothes etc??!

Absolutely not - in that country?!

I’m not understanding your logic. Why not in Dubai?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/03/2026 10:04

CornishPorsche · 12/03/2026 09:26

Have you not seen The Handmaid's Tale? Or read anything about sex and power or even rape?

Do you think men in Dubai are above this behaviour? Or that it doesn't happen?

I would say that rape is common there.

But household staff, low paid and on crappy visas, voluntarily having affairs with married men and stealing or wearing their bosses clothes etc??!

Absolutely not - in that country?!

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