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AIBU?

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AIBU to feel there is no karma after seeing abusive ex thriving?

107 replies

Toadsandwarts9 · 12/03/2026 05:31

AIBU?

A suggested friend popped up on my social media - I clicked it and realised her profile picture was at her own wedding married to a guy who I used to date. I did not date him for very long and I was traumatised by him. He was abusive towards me and sexually assaulted me - I ended up needing a TOP and I was quite literally left in the gutter by him. I managed to get myself sorted with therapy and counselling, the local NHS services helped me too and I decided not to persue further charges due to the ongoing impact it would have. I have never in my life been treated with such utter contempt by another human being.

I have no idea how she would come up as a ‘suggested friend’.

This opened a can of worms with me looking at both his public profile and hers, they have a BEAUTIFUL 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom house and a gorgeous little boy. His wife looks stunning and kind. I could not help to think where is the Karma in this? Where is the justice for how he treated me? His profile picture is the family on holiday looking glowing and tanned and him proudly holding up his child.

It just really gets me down that bad men in this world appear to still go on to have great lives no matter how awfully they have been to woman.

I have seen similar patterns with exes and friends of exes.

Anyway - it will take me a few days to process qnd obviously I will get over it. Social media allows us access to peoples lives where the door should firmly be shut and I still have no idea why she would come up suggested but AIBU to feel there really is no such thing as Karma?

OP posts:
PersephonePomegranate · 12/03/2026 06:03

YABVU.

You're talking about material things here, this tells you nothing about their lives. This is literally a snapshot.

Also unreasonable to talk about 'karna'. Even if such a thing existed, do you think it works to a timeline agreeable to you?! I think what tends to happen, is that eventually people's luck runs out rather than some cosmic force decides it's payback time. So one day, he'll do something to his wife - or another woman - that makes her think 'enough'. Whether that's a month, a year, or a decade away away is nothing to do with you.

Monsterslam · 12/03/2026 06:02

Maybe he or she has been looking you up op. Sounds all style and no substance to me.

Toadsandwarts9 · 12/03/2026 06:01

SerenityScout · 12/03/2026 05:55

No, you’re not being unreasonable. It’s completely normal to wonder where the karma is when someone who hurt you so badly seems to be living a perfect life. The truth is karma doesn’t always show up in ways we can see, and social media only shows the highlight reel of people’s lives.

Your feelings are completely valid, and being shaken by something like that is understandable.

I am more shaken as to my innocent clicking of her name as I had no idea who she was and seeing who was in her profile picture!

How on earth can social media do that?

OP posts:
SerenityScout · 12/03/2026 05:55

No, you’re not being unreasonable. It’s completely normal to wonder where the karma is when someone who hurt you so badly seems to be living a perfect life. The truth is karma doesn’t always show up in ways we can see, and social media only shows the highlight reel of people’s lives.

Your feelings are completely valid, and being shaken by something like that is understandable.

Tonissister · 12/03/2026 05:47

I agree with Pp. This is a curated version of their 'perfect' life. They could be deeply in debt to afford it. Lots of image conscious people are.

He is no doubt abusive to his wife. Men like that don't change. You don't want a gorgeous 5 bed house if it means sharing it with him. You are free. That's priceless.

Toadsandwarts9 · 12/03/2026 05:46

Springisspringingnow · 12/03/2026 05:41

You are seeing the picture they want to present to the world. You have no idea of what the reality is. You are just seeing the facade.

My view of social media is that those who are truly happy and living fulfilled lives don't need to post pictures of themselves for public consumption because they are too busy just living and getting on with their lives.

I'm so sorry this man treated you so dreadfully. I doubt someone who could behave so badly will really have changed.

Edited

I suppose that is true - I have not posted about my own marriage etc and neither has my husband.

OP posts:
Springisspringingnow · 12/03/2026 05:41

You are seeing the picture they want to present to the world. You have no idea of what the reality is. You are just seeing the facade.

My view of social media is that those who are truly happy and living fulfilled lives don't need to post pictures of themselves for public consumption because they are too busy just living and getting on with their lives.

I'm so sorry this man treated you so dreadfully. I doubt someone who could behave so badly will really have changed.