Hi @Caitl995, I can only really comment on your last few sentences, about not taking your DM on holiday with you.
When my - then little ones - were babies and toddlers, we took my DM with us on a week or two's holiday every year, some of that was so that my Ex DH and I could also have some relaxing - and possibly romantic - time together. We would usually spend the day time all together, doing normal seaside holiday things, then on a 7 day holiday we would have about 3 evenings where my DH and I would go to any later evening entertainment at the resort (when the kiddlywinks were in bed), or maybe just go out for a 'romantic' meal together.
On the other evenings we might all share a takeaway, and maybe all go for a stroll along the promenade, or my DM and I might have one evening at the resort's evening entertainment, while DH stayed in with the little ones. Of course, during the day, if we weren't venturing far, all the adults had individual time outs, when we would maybe have an afternoon nap, or read our books for a couple of hours.
Anyway, all I am really trying to say is, that my DH, my DM, and me too, all had much more fun, and a more relaxing time on those holidays, because we had my DM with us. I also know that my DM absolutely adored having the extra time with her DGrandchildren, they were all extremely close to each other, in fact we were all close to each other. When at hom, my DH and I would not go out as a couple, more than one or two evenings a year.
My DM has very sadly been gone for over 15 years now, and the children have been adults for at least 20 years, and I am just so grateful that the three of us adults - me, Ex DH and DM - had so many special times together when we still had the chance. We (my now - 2nd - husband and I), spend at least 5 days, to a week, together, every year, on holiday, with our DGrandchildrench and their DParents! These have been the happiest days of my life - so far - since our DChildren grew up. The same goes for my DH, even though he is technically, and only technically, the DGrandchildren's step-GF. They have been such quality times, that we would have both hated to have missed out on them, particularly as neither of us know how much longer we will realistically be able to continue holidaying with them for. 🙏
If you, and your DH, think that you could make having your DM with you for just one week's holiday each year, work, then I both hope, and believe, that as long as you are all reasonable human beings, you will all look back with fondness to this very special time! 💐