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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not buy DD any more clothes until she acts more responsibly?

29 replies

smmer99 · 11/03/2026 22:08

DD14 and her friends often borrow or leave their clothes at each other's houses, or they just end up losing them completely. It's mostly hoodies and jumpers. The worst incident was when she lost a £60 coat that she had for only 2 months. No clue where it disappeared to, and we never got it back.

Last month was DD’s birthday, and I got her some new clothes, including a £40 hoodie. A couple of weeks ago, she stayed at a friend's house and left it there. I reminded her to make sure she got it back as she’d only had it for a couple of weeks. She met up with her friend last night and got the hoodie back, but there’s a big stain on one of the sleeves. Apparently, her friend didn’t mention it when she dropped it off, so DD messaged her to find out what it was, and she said it was an oil stain from when she helped her brother fix his car the other week. God knows why she wore it knowing it wasn’t hers, but I guess that’s just kids for you, and also DD’s fault for leaving it behind in the first place.

DD told me about the stain reluctantly as I asked for her laundry and she knew I’d notice it. As a single parent, I don’t have a lot of money and can’t afford to replace things all the time. AIBU to tell DD that I won’t be buying her any more clothes until she learns to be more responsible and look after things?

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 11/03/2026 22:45

You can get hoodies for £4 in Primark. Tell her she can buy her own replacements

KickboxingWanker · 11/03/2026 22:43

Try a stain devil fats and oil remover, if the hoodie is a bright colour test it on an unseen part first.

I wouldn’t be buying expensive items if she can’t look after them.

Trusttheawesomeness · 11/03/2026 22:33

At 14, why hasn’t she replied to her friend to ask why on earth she wore something that wasn’t hers to do car repair work.

Do you know the mum? Ask her.

WeAreNotOk · 11/03/2026 22:24

OP, just buy her the cheapest gear you can buy to teach her a lesson. Get her to earn better/decent/trendy clothing by giving her chores so she appreciates the value of them.