Ex left me just before the 20 week scan. We had been living in his place but loosely… what I mean by that is he gave me a key and I left my house as it was, didn’t rent it out or anything, we just gave things a go. So nothing official was in place like a mortgage or joint tenancy agreement.
Anyway, things were awful. Baby was a surprise but we’d chatted about kids for a year or so before it happened. After he left me he refused to speak to me for months and told me through his friend that he didn’t want to know when the baby was born. When I claimed maintenance (through cms as he had told me not to contact him) he then denied he was the father and said I had been sleeping around. I don’t have an opinion on anyone sleeping around if that’s what they want to do but it’s never been something I have done and him suggesting this was hurtful on a lot of levels but one of them was the fact that it just simply wasn’t who I was. Obviously when the test was forced upon him to do (after several weeks of chasing him to book the appointment), he then had to pay.
He’s since developed a bond with our child and he will regularly say that he will tell our child what I’m like, for instance if we have a disagreement about something he immediately alludes to the paternity test as to why he was absent initially. I live in fear of this because even though the paternity test showed he was the father, our child will always now have the impression that I was sleeping around and it really upsets me.
I have posted about this before in a longer post about other things, please don’t judge me for posting, I’m just struggling and feel sad about it and anxious about the future and how my relationship may be affected with my child: