AIBU to step back from work friendships after feeling ignored?

I think you’re trying to hard to be liked, pull back a bit, be friendly but not ott. Remember they are work colleagues, not family.

Do love a prank though. 😂 All in good nature though. One of the guys was moaning about staying late the other day despite having started three hours after the rest of us. Somebody wrapped his bottle of ketchup in duct tape and put it back in the fridge lol. I think it's having fun that makes it bearable.

I’m good mates with some of my colleagues. We laugh, chat, go out for drinks after work etc.

What we don’t do is hug each other on a daily basis, play pranks on each other and insist on buying birthday presents. Not because we’re particularly corporate - we’re really not - but because anyone who behaves like that on a daily basis is colossally OTT and needs to calm the fuck down.

Why the hell are you going around hugging people at work. Just go sit down!

Wow why is everyone being so mean! The op is obviously asking for opinions and advice regarding work etiquette, not to be ripped to shreds, no wonder she hasn’t returned.

Reading a room not your strong point, then.

Ok but I don’t think she works in construction.

Does sound a bit much tbh. But I disagree with the people who say work friends aren't proper friends. I've made some of my best mates at work, including the mate I used to share a place with.

I think people are more reserved in professional jobs because you generally have to maintain a 'corporate profile'. It's different in the construction sector. Workers will often stick together against the management as we're not really competing for promotions etc. Like, if things go wrong onsite and they ask us to stay late we'll all talk between ourselves before agreeing as it's much worse if you end up being the only one agreeing and have to pick up the slack.

Same if you squash something in the truck/machine. If you get on with the builders they'll just say "don't worry, we didn't see anything" or they'll just tell the boss it was one of the deliveries. A lot of the guys go for drinks after work etc and most of us try and stay in contact for future work - e.g. was told my contract on HS2 was being terminated on 31st March due to the lease on machines ending but within an hour I'd secured another to start on 1st April on same job with another contractor just by calling a mate I used to work with.

Is this your first job ok? You sound incredibly young and full on. I've never worked anywhere where people do daily hugs, pranks, presents. You really need to back off before you find yourself in an hr meeting

Sorry OP, your intentions may be kind but you're too much at the work place. Actually, I would find you too much out of work too!

You shouldn't hug a work colleague, play pranks, be an agony aunt to them or even buy presents tbh. Secret Santa at Xmas is the norm! You should just be approachable and friendly when it comes to your actual work with work issues while at there and not overstep, nor seek friendships so forcefully. Your being upset and testing them shows that you're too invested, needy and they are not at all and, well your setting yourself up to fail. I bet this isn't the first time this has happened either. Sorry to be blunt.

Jesus leave the poor blokes alone.

You sound too much and frankly both childish and unhinged. You shouldn't be hugging colleagues every day, and setting a little trap to see if they notice you pulling back is some juvenile shite.

Ah ha, I see, the OP is a plopper.

Posts one post (the first one) and then doesn't return,

Nothing to see here..............

This made me very uncomfortable, I wouldn’t like it at all. You are too intense OP, they are not friends, they’re colleagues who want some space.

Which type of workplace allows this type of behaviour?

Hugging could give rise to a sexual harassment claim in some workplaces

Please stop the hugs!

It all sounds exhausting - how do you get any work done? I’m sure you’re very nice but seem a bit ‘full on’ for a work colleague.

Are you neurodivergent?

The OP hasn’t come back. Is there any point to more posters laying the boot into them?

Your to much to full on.
Id have found a different job if i had to work with someone like you, that or id have snapped at you.
Its way to much.
Are we cool is what 14/16 year olds say to eachother not grown adults.
Gifts hugs pranks just stop.
They are not intrested in you how you think, your just a work colleague.

Feeling ignored i think they was giving you a hint to back off.

The 'stepping back and see how others react' is attention seeking and manipulative as hell.

Sometimes I get really busy at work and don't talk much to anyone, or might just joke around with the people that sit next to me and barely engage with others. It doesn't mean I hate everyone else.

I've got a feeling that someone is doing what you're doing, stepping back and seeing how I react, to me at the moment. She's a lovely person but unfortunately lives in her head so much and overthinks every interaction, every comment, every look, that I just don't have the bandwidth for these kinds of games.

Either you choose to be friends with someone or you don't. Putting on a sad face and seeing how they react isn't friendship, it's testing and manipulation.

Oh op, this is way too much. People you're friendly with at work are not friends. By all means pass time of day but physical contact is a hard no. You have to get on with colleagues but ideally be able to leave tomorrow without a backward glance or forwarding address if you wanted to.

They are work colleagues ONLY
Be friendly but not overly friendly.
They are not really very interested in anyone but themselves.
That is life !!!!

It’s almost like….. they’re at work…. to work, or something?

Respectfully OP, whilst it’s great to get on with your colleagues, and friendships can grow out of work connections, this all sounds far too much. It’s a place of work, not a social club.

As a rule of thumb, unless you see your colleagues outside of work on a non-work basis, they’re work friends, and likelihood is the friendship will end as soon as one of you leaves, or it’ll just become a professional connection who you might meet for coffee occasionally (if you work in a profession where fostering those kinds of connections is a thing).

As for the “testing” of them - nothing would make me less want to be friends with someone. Bizarre.

And please, please stop hugging your colleagues. It’s really not appropriate.

This is quite sad.
OP do you have friends outside of work?
You do sound very intense.
I think scaling down your interactions with these colleagues is a good thing.

How old are you? I think that might have bearing on this. You’ll learn.

Oh that sounds hideous, I’m not surprised you came back!

Those people in my life that I am close to (including colleagues) know me well enough to respect my boundaries and know that even when I have been sat in my office sobbing, any physical contact would be unwelcome!