Husband not coming home early

OMG OP ....fellow knee surgery patient ..tibia plateau fracture ..that photo is / was deeply worrying...I read all your posts before commenting. I'm sorry but your DP must be a fool if he didn't come running with your having a seeping open wound after surgery. People with my injury have months of infusions for infections that begin far more subtly than that. I hope you have a good plan and your healing goes really well. I cannot believe what you went through. You deserve so much better love and care 💐💐💐💐💐💐

Best of luck 🍀🍀🍀

He sounds awful, and you have every right to be upset. His being so nonchalant (watching tv, losing sight of time, catching up with friends etc) in the face of a medical emergency for you (and underplaying that emergency) is just beyond the pale. And, please don't excuse his behavior as not being motivated by malice, just lack of thought. This is intentional and deliberate behaviour, even if he isn't conscious of it.

Really glad you got medical attention @OneTwinklyBird and are being sorted out . Your “D”H is an absolute arse.

Your first post made it sound as though he was away on an uncancelable business trip near family and had taken your two eldest children to stay with his family in order to provide some small help to you in very difficult circumstances.
That made his actions seem quite reasonable, not ideal for anyone - least of all you - but probably as much as could possibly be done by him when facing immovable work dictates he could face consequences over.

The update he is tiling for family makes it an entirely different situation. He should have come home straight away, or actually not gone in the first place.

It is awful, awful behaviour of him.

I hope your leg heals as quickly as possible, that you aren’t in too much pain and that you get to spend a couple of days in hospital to help you recover.

This is a tough situation with 5 children, especially when one is a baby and easy for me to say ‘leave him’. But if he wouldn’t help you at your most vulnerable, after a baby and an operation how is your life better with him?

His behaviour is appalling and if his family knew you were so unwell and they didn’t tell him to head straight back home to you, theirs is too. They should have offered to take care of the older children for a week and sent him back to concentrate on the younger ones so you could concentrate on getting better.

I can’t believe his just worried about his tiredness when your back in the hospital on drips and may need a graft.

His a pathetic excuse for a human being.

As best as you can make the most of what rest there can be in a hospital while he has to parent alone and “tired”

I'm sorry, OP

And even more so with your update with surgery and iv antib and skin graft

Yes you have the right to be pissed off

he should have put the kids in the car and driven home. They would have slept in the car and then moved to bed

Oh no. Glad you are getting the care you need. If and when you get home put your feet up and rest for 7 days, make sure you heal. Let him look after the house and kids.

Then when you are better and stronger make some changes.

Have you had it seen yet, OP?

Sending all good wishes, OP. Hope you're at hospital now. Swift recovery to you!

Gobsmacked at your husband- wtf was he thinking leaving you at home in an isolated rural place, (temporarily) unable to drive, recovering from surgery and looking after three young children? And then to dither the way he has... sorry to be all 'not my Nigel' but I cannot imagine my DH doing this. And nor would I do it to him. I'd just be worried about DH getting ill and wanting to get home ASAP... although tbh I wouldn't have gone in the first place, under the circumstances.

OP - I hope you have already taken the advice you were given yesterday and asked your GP for a home visit, or taken a taxi to the surgery.

The most pressing issue here is your health, not whether your husband cares enough to come home. You already have the answer to that.

I apologise if I'm wrong, but it feels like you are using the potentially dangerous situation you are in to test and shame your husband.

You have found him wanting. That is bad enough, but risking septicemia to punish him could have serious consequences for your health and won't make him love you more.

If you haven't already done so, call for help immediately. He'll come home if and when he's ready.

Your husband is a cunt. Sorry OP - I would consider leaving him. What if you developed sepsis?

My opinion has changed as the situation developed. At the start, I thought you were being a bit unreasonable and what did you expect the bloke to do? Now I've reached the conclusion that he's an arsehole and that that should be made very clear to him.

LTB. This is astonishing. He left it two days before coming back from a casual favour of a job tiling for his sister?? He prioritised seeing friends, watching tv and eating dinner over preventing you getting a serious wound infection??

I’m sorry op but he is an arsehole.

He has well an truely shown where you are on his list of giving a fuck about and well it’s low.

Hopefully you’ve actually gone like the nurse said to get it checked once he was back.

However I have a funny feeling your dh will of been far to tired again so has said he will take you later this morning after some sleep… or maybe he will of actually cared once he saw your leg in person.

You had surgery and he left you home alone with two toddlers and a baby?? He should never have travelled 5 hours away in the first place.

How far away is your closest relative?

Good luck today having your leg seen.
when you’re feeling up to it I think you should have a conversation about how low you felt in his priorities.

He’ll be sorry when he’s stuck at home with all five children on his own because you’ve been admitted into hospital with an infection!

Sorry just seen the update. Driving home at 10pm so gets home at 3am to take you the next day. I do think YABU.
I think its more about you wanting him to show you he cares rather than you looking at it practically.
Either way I hope it gets sorted.

So did you go to the hospital this morning?