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AIBU?

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Original poster

To decline 24 month health check with HV?

81 replies

netballlls · 11/03/2026 09:51

I had a really bad experience with my first HV when DC was born.

I would ask for advice and she would tell me to read the Red Book.
She was quite pushy and told us that it was the law to have a HV.
She insisted on looking in our bedroom and all around the house.

I had a very traumatic birth, required a transfusion etc and after a week long stay in hospital.

I didn't really feel like breastfeeding as I was ill and severely tired on antibiotics and she was basically telling me what to do which I didn't appreciate.

Ignored his severe acid reflux and at my persistence was diagnosed with CMPA with the GP.

She was useless.

I complained to her manager annd Opted Out and after the 2nd visit and never heard from her again.

I was bothered again when DC was 10 months old about the 12 month check and again was advised it was "mandatory".
This particular HV was quite intimidating on the phone and again a swift email to her manager stopped her contacting me.

We moved house last year and again I Opted Out but received 2/3 calls from the HV.
Wanted to come to the house.
Asked a lot of intrusive questions, again after I advised her I was Opting Out.

I haven't heard anything of her since last January and I don't want to have any more contact with them as I don't find them supportive but rather intimidating, pushy and nosey.
Any contact makes me quite anxious with them and brings back bad memories from the first one.

Would it flag up if i declined?
I am thinking of taking DC to the GP to see if they would be able to do the check.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HippeePrincess · 11/03/2026 10:04

In our area they send out the questionnaire for parents to look through and if the parents have any concerns they make an appointment. They don’t see all children here now except for vaccines. Could you request the questionnaire to do the checks yourself? It’s very basic such as can they climb stairs, vocabulary, follow instructions and they don’t actually “check” the cold over or anything.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/03/2026 10:04

I’m not sure it’s reasonable to expect the GP to do the check, they presumably don’t typically do it either so it’s better a health visitor does it. And as you say it’s at a clinic so no need to snoop in your home. I’d have the check with the health visitor as it’s for your son, and then you don’t have to see them again.

Original poster
netballlls · 11/03/2026 10:01

No the check would be at the clinic.

OP posts:
Lilyhatesjaz · 11/03/2026 10:00

Are you sure the 24month check would be at your house. Ours were with the health visitor at the doctors surgery

Original poster
netballlls · 11/03/2026 09:56

@CleanSkin- Thank you.
We are both quite keen for him to be checked over but just don't want to go through all that again.

I fill out the e consult Triage form today to see if the GP would be able to do it.

My understanding is that if there was an issue we would be referred anyway to the appropriate specialist/team?

OP posts:
CleanSkin · 11/03/2026 09:53

So sorry you’ve had such a traumatic experience.
For the sake of my child’s health, I would have the 24 month check, but would follow the same line as you’ve suggested & talk to the GP surgery to see if they can take over or advise an alternative person.
Best wishes.