To decline 24 month health check with HV?

Since you moved is it the same HV or a different one?

Can you not ask for a different one, and explain you had issues with previous that made you really want to opt out entirely but you're willing to give another one a shot.

They're probably being pushy as no nursery or anything so no one has really been checking development and no one else really gets official eyes on your child. Mine goes to nursery and they complete regular development assessments, they're also trained in safe guarding so there is someone else that would report anything suspicious like weight loss, bruising, big differences in development compared to where most are etc.

It's all liability. Imagine someone was neglecting their child. Leaving them home alone, never taking them out, they're underweight, malnourished, behind in development and socialisation. Refused all medical input. No HV, no checkups, no vaccines, never takes for medical care. Then one day an accident happens while left alone, child in hospital in an awful state. Medics being police and SS in and its all over the news. People are asking why it got so far, why no flags raised, why no one noticed or reported.

But equally someone could be a SAHM so no childcare, opted out of HV, child rarely ill and not needed medical attention but developed well, socialised at toddler classes, very well loved and looked after and overall perfect.

They can't tell whether its first or second situation without getting eyes on, so they need to push all parents rejecting input to make sure it isnt the former.

When mine were born I didn't have any visits at home at all apart from midwife. I just turned up at the baby clinics for weighing and with any concerns.

I declined all of mine after the first couple of visits for my first child as they were completely pointless (for me, not saying they have no benefit for others). My babies were meeting all milestones and I had no particular concerns so not sure what benefit we could have gained. I appreciate the safeguarding angle so I told them they were free to come around and check that my house was fine, children alive and kicking etc, which one did when we moved to a new borough.

I declined any more HVs after the 3rd visit as I was unhappy with the service. I found the first couple of visits useful as I was home alone with a premature baby but after that, I wasn't finding the service useful so I declined to see them again. Nothing ever came of it, its a service you can opt out of. Providing you're on top of care such as GP visits when needed etc, no one will ever bother about it.
The nursery were pushy for me to have the visit when toddler was about 3 or 4, I can't remember when exactly, even offering to have the HV at nursery, which I declined. Nursery were more bothered than anyone else, I don't think they were used to people declining.

I declined with my first because the previous appointments had been pointless, and I had an experienced nanny and a great childminder who I could check in with. I will do the same going forward. I would make a proper hardcore complaint about them lying to you and claiming that it's mandatory, which it absolutely isn't.

I’ve been on Mumsnet for years. I’ve read so many threads about HVs and I’ve come to several conclusions.

Firstly, HVs generally get a very negative press on here. It’s like many reviews though, many people only post if they are unhappy with something. All the people who had a good experience or an ok experience don’t usually bother to post.

Secondly, many people don’t realise how well qualified HVs are. They are registered nurses or midwives, who have completed a degree in public health and a lot of extra training in child health, prescribing prescriptions, child development, adult mental health, addiction, alcohol misuse, domestic abuse and safeguarding. A junior HV is a band six, which is the same band as a ward sister.

The role is constantly changing, with safeguarding becoming much more prominent in a HV’s daily work. The reasons for this are pretty obvious. If a child dies on a HV’s caseload the HV’s notes are seized and questions are asked. For example, “why wasn’t this child seen by the HV?” This is one reason a HV is so keen to see your child.

Lastly, there aren’t enough HVs in post and many have so many safeguarding cases, they struggle to cope.

Is your dc on track with all vaccinations?

I declined a roughly 30 month check up for my daughter because it was difficult to schedule and I have no concerns about her at all (she's my second). We just had a chat over the phone which covered off the basics and that was that.

It is a pointless and utterly waste of time. A basic tick box exercise. I did it just because I didn’t want to be bothered by them constantly contacting me. I do think for some people it may be helpful BUT as usual, anything done online is just useless unless the child is sitting right in front of you.

I can’t imagine they asked intrusive questions rather than merely the standard questions to get a picture of a child’s life and care.
The GP isn’t an alternative, they’re a different service.
I did actually decline the 2 y appointment for one of mine but it wasn’t my first child and I knew DC was ahead by all markers so there really would have been nothing to discuss.

My comment was deleted presumably because I said ‘ffs’

However, perhaps more kindly, can you explain why you think your HV sounder job was ‘traumatic’ for you?

The HV arent being nosey for the fun of it. They ask these questions to find out if there are any issues they could possibly help with. Their main concern also is the child’s wellbeing.

if they don’t see a child and a parent just says no no no go away I don’t want to answer any questions or meet anyone or have anyone see my child - that is understandably going to set off alarm bells.
they aren’t going to turn around and say no probs, no one will ever want to check in on your child again.

also, feels like health professionals are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
if they don’t ask about dads mental health - dad is being ignored and no one cares about men’s mental health. Then they do ask and now they’re patronising.
everyone moans about not getting a GP appt and GPs are lazy etc etc. then you want to take up 1+ appts (if will take much longer than 10 mins) to do a health check that GPs don’t do and that there are trained health professionals waiting and asking to do for your child!

the priority should be what’s in your child’s best interests. It is better for them to see a HV and have the check than not to.
you’d be denying your child that check for your own personal reasons, rather than what’s best for your child.

If you don’t have any concerns then decline the appointment.
If you have a concern then attend.
The GP will not do the review.

You can’t go to your GP for a health visitor appointment, they aren’t the same role. They don’t get trained in the same things.
honestly it’s 20 mins of your life, you are being petulant

You had one unhelpful HV, fine. But a medical professional is now available to check over your 2 year old and you'd rather reject the help for some non-reasons. Grow up and get your son checked out.

If you ever encountered one slightly annoying doctor, will you opt out of all medical care entirely?

If you have concerns then it’s worth having the check done, especially as you are now in a different area so it’s different HVs.

HVs are like roulette - but given there is a chance these new ones could be good then with concerns it’s worth giving them the chance.

the GP won’t do the check, and depending on what your concern is they may just refer you to the HV.

I declined mine, just said I didn’t have any concerns. They said that’s fine.

Traumatised by being told to read the red book and told something incorrect about HVs being mandatory? Crikey, you sound fragile

Could your H or even a friend take DC to the checkup? They would not be starting off stressed and anxious.

For 24 month check I was very proud of my little girl, and was looking forward to seeing how the tests went. She had had Whooping Cough but had recovered well.

We were in the waiting room for over two hours and I had a tired, fed up little girl with me by the time we were seen. And no, she did ok but nothing like she would have if we hadn't waited around so long.

I'm inclined to agree - having found something upsetting or difficult doesn't negate your responsibility to engage in what your child needs or is needed for your child. I think most of us who've parented for years will have had to do things that they found horrendously difficult

What seems to you like pestering and nosiness is really safeguarding. Plenty of parents who opt out do so because they have something to hide and/or there are issues of neglect etc

The HV is doing their job to check bedrooms are appropriately set up, ask about feeding, checking the child’s welfare.

By the 2 year check up a lot of your reasons for the first visit being stressful aren’t there anymore - being postpartum, on antibiotics, struggling to breastfeed etc - so why not just suck it up for 15 minutes and make sure your child is developing normally?

Your GP will not and should not do the 24 month check- not their job.

Especially as your child isn’t in nursery I would really recommend having the check done because there may be things they can pick up on that you miss just by not knowing to look for them.