Hens still havent paid me back?

Some of these replies are mind-boggling. The hen should pay for herself. No one really wanted to go, they just felt obligated. They were coerced into agreeing to go/pay.

Some people actually like their friends, want to go on a nice hen do with them, and are delighted to treat them.

Hope everyone else coughs up soon, OP. Do you have a nuclear option if you need to resort to threatening them with it? e.g. can you tell them that, if you don't have the money by the end of the week, you'll have to cancel the booking and try to get your money back?

Why on earth did you let this dimmer on for 6 months?

Send a list of all the names of the people going with who has paid you so far. Oh hang on, as it's none of them, make that clear. Include your bank details and any options for how to pay you for this. Be very clear about the total cost.

"I haven't received any of the payments to reimburse me for the £400 I paid for the bride. Here is a reminder of my bank details:
Acc No:
Sort Code:
Name:
£40 each please as there are 10 of us. This covers the cost for (name of bride)'s weekend, her meal and the activity and (whatever you're paying for).
If you'd rather pay through paypal, you can do that here: (link)
If you want to venmo me, you can do that here: (link)
I need it paid ASAP please as it's a big chunk of money for me and I'm getting pretty stressed out about it.
Thanks it advance lovelies, see you very soon!"

Strategy: be direct, be clear, end it with a positive note because you don't want it to sour the actual hen.

It is shitty of them. I know people are very busy and juggling lots of things so for some people this will have fallen off their radar, some might have thought they could pay you back on the weekend, some will be hoping you never chase them because they're awful human beings.

Well done, in the group chat, every time someone else pays, say ‘thanks to Sarah and Vicky-just got yours’ etc etc

If there’s a pause in payments, say-just waiting for, ‘Sally, Marie and Amber’ now, thanks

So all 20 hens have each booked and paid their own £400 cost and have agreed to chip in an extra £20 each to cover the brides £400 which you have paid upfront?

I can see why you are upset. But heck you've all got more money than sense, £400 each + spends is bonkers.

I think your next request is public on the chat saying I can’t pay for x for janes actual wedding until I’ve been paid back and it’s so close I’m going to have to tell her soon. Please don’t spoil the fun we had with her by leaving me out of pocket, and don’t make me name you individually but if it’s protecting your identity or telling Jane why I’m not coming /doing x then it’s a very black and white choice.

totally different note but I hope you didnt all book seperately becuase the place doesnt accept groups.....ive saved a customer last week, stranded in Benidorm becuase they all booked separately as the hotel doesnt accept groups, now theyve been kicked out as they are a group!

You do realise that not everyone sees attending a hen trip as a massive favour to the bride? That many women are delighted at the opportunity for a trip with their mates and think that its more fun than a dinner they could have anytime? That some women are very fond of their soon to be married friends and actually want to treat them, and that not every woman with a group of friends like this is entitled, spolit or demanding? Some are just popular women with like minded friends. (And no, I didn't have an abroad hen, they weren't a thing in 1989 unfortunately.)
The OPs problem here is the women who agreed to pay and are slow to deliver. There's no reason here to have a pop at her cousin.

No!! Too nicey nicely.

If you use online banking you’ll probably have a Request Money feature. It’s really easy to set up and makes paying really easy. Just generate the link and send it to them with a note that says ‘Please use this link now to send your share of the bride’s hen weekend as agreed’.

Too late for you now Op but I have refused to pay for anything in advance such as concert tickets except for Dh and my kids.
Ive been stung too many times over the years with people 'forhetting' that they couldn't come to a gig and 'not remember ing' they had committed.
However losing £30 is small fry compared to you Op.
I hope you get sorted.

Yes, not the point at all. I'm glad you've had 3 payments anyway.

This, or similar, @MyPurpleHeart

So they have all paid for themselves but not for the bride? Yep just tell the bride she needs to pay for herself, and have done with it.

They can’t get all the kudos for treating her to a weekend away when you’ve covered it all yourself.

It’s £20 and was agreed before they all booked. You OBVIOUSLY don’t like it based on your shouty capitals but that is NOT the point.

the point is - the hens agreed to pay an extra £20 and now they aren’t paying. To them it’s £20 but when it adds up to £400 it takes the piss.

hen do’s are a frigging nightmare! I went on one where we agreed a kitty of around £40 for food, booze and essentials like toilet paper. Afterwards one refused to pay as she brought her own food as she was celiac. Which she never told anyone about - and she drank the booze and used the toilet paper! Completely didn’t give a crap that it meant someone was out of pocket!

This issue, and some of the mad responses to the OP, are the reason why men take the piss out of women organising hen dos.

YABU to pay for the bride's party. She should have paid for her own attention seeking do.

How could that be when they all booked individually?

Either the OP has put the incorrect bank details or she’s used some unclear flowery language when she’s asked for it!

In your situation this is correct - it is irrelevant and they need to pay.

However I seriously don't get the bit about the bride not paying - it was a thing back in my day but I insisted on paying for myself. You're asking such a lot of hens / guests to come (and pay for themselves) to your hen, and then all of the expenses involved in attending a wedding. To then expect them to pay for you to have a jolly seems insane to me!

I’d go with this one - direct and unambiguous.

It’s odd nobody has paid up, though - reckon they think whatever they’ve already paid took the “extra” £20 contribution into account .

This is good, send this!

If no one has paid you give up and ask the bride for the money

So are you going to do what many have suggested? Send a deadline for payment and name those who haven’t paid?

This sounds good!

I suspect they think it’s just £20, why the desperation, but your suggested message clearly stating it’s £400 should get the full impact of non-payment across.