Page 7 | Hens still havent paid me back?

TeenLifeMum · 11/03/2026 12:42

RanyaJerodung · 11/03/2026 09:03

Exactly. Why do people always suggest things like this? Be direct and upfront.

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Only because it gives a clear deadline and people pleasers feel more comfortable and confident using that line.

Kate8889 · 11/03/2026 12:37

Say the trip will be cancelled unless everyone sends you their share. Then follow through. Even if you can't get refunds it will be a strong lesson. I myself paid for everything for myself and bridesmaids for every pre wedding event.

nomas · 11/03/2026 12:34

What leverage do you have here, OP?

Do you have all the tickets and they are reliant on you?

Could you get the bride to give them a kick up the bum?

Have NONE of them paid? It must be a group decision not to pay.

As a last resort, tell them you will be cancelling one flight and one room for every week that you don’t receive payment.

Namechangedforspooky · 11/03/2026 12:33

sesquipedalian · 11/03/2026 08:27

OP, it’s irrelevant whether the bride should have paid for herself or not - you’ve all agreed to pay for the bride, and now the others are not divvying up. I might try to guilt them into it, as clearly asking has not done any good - “I’ve asked nicely three times now, and unfortunately I can’t afford to be £400 out of pocket so if the matter isn’t resolved by Friday, I shall be put in the unfortunate position of having to ask the bride to pay for herself, and let her know why.”

Do this! Perfect

25mini7 · 11/03/2026 12:32

I opened this thread thinking the OP had ungrateful chickens...... 🤣

99bottlesofkombucha · 11/03/2026 12:29

Cosyblankets · 11/03/2026 12:05

I came on to say this.
Hi hens
I've forked out £400 and unless I get out back i won't be able to go on the trip

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I’m amending my previous comment. I like this but it’s ’unless I get it back we won’t be covering the bride and I’ll have to tell her she will have to pay her own way because some of her friends refused to.

RvLl · 11/03/2026 12:29

on 2nd thoughts, I’d send individual messages and bin off the group WhatsApp messages as they aren’t working

Fends · 11/03/2026 12:27

Dogmum74 · 11/03/2026 11:37

Oh I would not have let this go this far. I would be shaming them all with a passive aggressive message with my bank details saying:

Hi ladies!

I have asked a few times but none of you have sent me your share of INSERT BRIDES NAME costs for her hen do.

I am relying on this money for my trip expenses. Please can you send it to the bank details below by this Friday, as I would hate for INSERT BRIDES NAME to have to cover her costs (less my share which I am happy to pay), but I cannot afford to cover for all of your shares.

Thanks Ladies!

All the “ladies” nonsense, flowery shite and explaining why she needs the money is likely the reason they’ve zoned out. Probably got the chat on mute hence the complete silence last time she asked 😅

viques · 11/03/2026 12:15

I think just send a message saying that if they don’t pay as agreed, you will be telling the bride that to go on her hen do she has to pay the £400 you are owed to cover her costs..

Dappy777 · 11/03/2026 12:08

They are hoping you forget. People do this all the time.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 11/03/2026 12:07

Don’t be polite and send individual texts, send it in the group chat and name names.

madaboutpurple · 11/03/2026 12:07

Send your message and tell them they will be cancelled if they don't pay up by your deadline. Like others have commented NEVER do the same again ever!

Moveoverdarlin · 11/03/2026 12:06

Right, we’re one month away…Money still outstanding from

Lucy £75
Jo £75
Kelly £75
Gemma £75
Suzie £75

Third time of asking. Once this paid, I’ll share the finer details.

Cosyblankets · 11/03/2026 12:05

Firefly100 · 11/03/2026 08:12

If you wanted to play hardball, you could tell them unless they pay you will be unable to go on the trip as you won’t be able to afford to. You must be prepared to follow through though. Personally I would be willing to tell the bride I couldn’t come as her friends had not refunded me.

I came on to say this.
Hi hens
I've forked out £400 and unless I get out back i won't be able to go on the trip

DeftGoldHedgehog · 11/03/2026 12:03

TheCurious0range · 11/03/2026 08:15

I refused to let my bridesmaids pay for me, if I'm old enough to get married I can pay my own way. Of course lots of people bought me drinks etc on the night. Maybe they can't afford to cover the bride given it's already costing them hundreds to attend

If they can't afford £20 the time to say that was six months ago.

RanyaJerodung · 11/03/2026 11:55

rockinrobins · 11/03/2026 11:43

Yep. You don't need to make up some daft excuse for asking people to repay you when you're £400 out of pocket!!

Edited

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True, but this is part of the problem, isn't it? People can't assert themselves, so they lie.

Mapletree1985 · 11/03/2026 11:52

I thought this post was going to be about an investment in chickens that weren't laying eggs.

Chocolatecustardcreamsrule · 11/03/2026 11:51

I would do a list of everyone’s names and a tick next to who has paid. Include your bank details again on the message.

rockinrobins · 11/03/2026 11:43

RanyaJerodung · 11/03/2026 09:03

Exactly. Why do people always suggest things like this? Be direct and upfront.

Show quote history

Yep. You don't need to make up some daft excuse for asking people to repay you when you're £400 out of pocket!!

Dogmum74 · 11/03/2026 11:37

Oh I would not have let this go this far. I would be shaming them all with a passive aggressive message with my bank details saying:

Hi ladies!

I have asked a few times but none of you have sent me your share of INSERT BRIDES NAME costs for her hen do.

I am relying on this money for my trip expenses. Please can you send it to the bank details below by this Friday, as I would hate for INSERT BRIDES NAME to have to cover her costs (less my share which I am happy to pay), but I cannot afford to cover for all of your shares.

Thanks Ladies!

watchingthishtread · 11/03/2026 11:37

Your chances of getting money from 20+ people are not high, I'm sorry to say. You might get 10 who pay.

RvLl · 11/03/2026 11:30

If they each think that they owe 20 and might be able to get away without paying it, you should make it clear to them that they total you are out of pocket is 400 and you desperately need that money. perhaps check if there is an error in the bank details if nobody has paid.

this happened to my db. Paid for a stag activity, no one paid him back ever. He was younger and didn’t want to rock the boat asking. So he lost all the money.

JasmineMac · 11/03/2026 11:30

MyPurpleHeart · 11/03/2026 08:08

I'm going away on a hen trip for my cousins wedding. When we booked it I paid for the brides share up front with the agreement the hens would pay me their share back. This was 6 months ago. We are a month out and despite me asking a few times, none of the hens have paid me yet. AIBU to ask for this to be paid within the next week? I have expenses for the trip which I was planning to cover with this that I cant yet. For context its around £400

Technically it's your cousin who owes you. She, presumably, also decided who was invited to her hen do, so get your cousin to speak to them and request they pay you back her share.
I wouldn't dream of having family or friends chasing freebies for me, it annoys me in general the way some brides behave as though they're an honorary princess for the duration.

OrlandointheWilderness · 11/03/2026 11:25

This thread is apparently NOT about the cost of chicken keeping…. 😂

OhBuggerandArse · 11/03/2026 11:24

Completely off topic, but every time I see the title of this thread it makes me think of my neighbour who used to say 'there's never been a hen yet that didn't die in debt'.

She kept chickens. It was supposed to be a business, but was never really economically viable...