Hens still havent paid me back?

Make a WhatsApp, include bride

list who has paid what:

claire paid £50
sandra paid £12
emily paid £50
carol £50

i have paid £100

please can x,yz transfer ££ to me asap

Start a WhatsApp group with the bride added

tell everyone how out of pocket you are and explain why

I would speak to the bride at this point, I know it's a bit awkward but it's all her friends so surely she can have a word with them or help you out here. She may say she'll just pay for herself as she won't want the awkwardness between you all and her friends being out of pocket. I've never been on a hen do when all the guests pay for the bride, especially an abroad trip! We usually just buy drinks/gifts for the bride to our own budgets.

FFS if it's only £20 each they should have paid that long ago!!! Shame on them!!! I'm so dead against owing people money and pay next day as have been used and abused financially. Tell the lazy arse hens if they don't pay the measly £20 owing by a date and time, interest of £1 a day will be added to their bill as you've had enough now. Good luck, and DON'T ever offer to pay up front again sweetheart x

So I am of an age where I would say no to this kind of malarkey but wish everyone well. The fact is, everyone was in agreement in how costs will be covered and what you will do.

So just call people out now, you have asked nicely and not named names. You should not be out of pocket, time to be brazen and name whoever as in 'a,b, c etc I have not received the final payment of...., so assuming you are not taking part in (what ever activity you can exclude them from and recoup some costs). Whilst I have been happy to organise this, at no point did I sign up for funding other people.

Be brutal now, it was agreed by everyone. If it falls apart it is not your problem. It sounds harsh, but do not fall for 'but the poor bride'. At the end of the day, she is just getting married like thousands of people every month.

My friend chased money in a group recently and I thought she worded it really well.

"We are missing some money. If you haven't paid yet, please settle up to save me the embarrassment of having to chase you individually."

Oh I've seen this thread knocking about in active all day, didn't open it but assumed it was about someone keeping hens and working out the cost of feed against what they are saving in eggs. Feel quite disappointed now 😭

Not really. Since they all booked their own travel 🙄

Exactly this! I’ve been on some brilliant weekends away with friends for hen dos. Most of us are married now and we always say we wish we had another hen weekend to go on! I love a weekend away with friends and to me it’s not something I dread but on MN everyone seems to despise them!

Hopefully you'll get the rest soon. If not, be explicit - "only 3 people have paid me, leaving 17+ of you who haven't yet paid which is a significant shortfall." They're all thinking it's only 20 quid, not that it is actually £400+.

Anymore payments? Have you tagged in a group chat? Just Sarah, Louise and Beth left to pay. Etc. Keep doing it until all have paid.

I would say:
‘Hi ladies, looking forward to the hen weekend, not long to go now! Thanks to those of you who have already transferred. If you haven’t done so, please can you transfer the £20 agreed to cover brides costs by FRIDAY. Thanks all!’

Once the deadline passes, I’d message those who haven’t paid individually. ‘Hi Sarah, I haven’t received payment for brides hen. Please can you send over this weekend? Thanks’

Of those who have paid, could you privately message them and ask them to post a “I’ve paid” type message in the group chat…it will just add on the pressure for the others. I’ve deployed that tactic a few times and it’s amazing how quickly others start paying up too

I’d be fuming too OP. Everyone agreed they were happy to pay an extra £20 for the bride, so they need to pay. Have any more than the three paid up today since your last post?

I genuinely, honestly thought this was going to be about eggs

Then this was the mistake. Surely they should have made a group booking...unless this breaches the terms and conditions of the hotel.

OP has already explained:

"We all booked separately, in groups of 2 or 3. All they have paid so far is for themselves. I booked the bride and myself to share a room. We all paid the same rate per person as we all booked at the same time. It was agreed before hand that the brides share would be split evenly,"

First post nails it. They are CFs!

Is it just the hens payment you are missing or have they not paid for their own place? Seems a bit odd if they are just not paying the £20 as surely that would have been tagged onto the overall price and paid before booking. Based on you saying you are owed £400 I would imagine then they were asked to pay £420 to cover them and contribute towards the hen. If they have paid their share, were they asked later for the hen contribution?

Some good suggestions here for firm direct message asking for the money.
It doesn’t matter if they didn’t think they should have to pay for the bride! If that was the case they should have spoken up at the time like the grown women they are and not left you to shoulder the full share of the brides cost.

Same!

In your next reminder, you need to say something like...

As agreed 6 months ago, you each owe me £20 as we were able to split x's cost between 20 of us. So far only 3 people have paid their £20, so I'm still £340 out of pocket. Thank you to a, b and c who have kindly paid their share. I look forward to receiving the rest by the end of the week.

I hope you get your money OP.

This. Repeated, until you get paid.

This. For me it signifies a high chance of trouble & drama at the event.