Hens still havent paid me back?

You keep saying this but clearly they dont actually want to pay if you're having to nag and whine at them constantly!

Whenever someone else has paid my share for something I have always paid them back within 24 hours because I'd feel awful otherwise. The fact theyve left it 6 months is rather indicative that it was mostly all talk and they dont really want to go.

You need to go hard now, tell them they pay up or the whole thing is off.

I hope the rest cough up. Have you told the bride @MyPurpleHeart ?

Never ever ever pay for a group activity up front and out of your own money. Get the money off people before booking.

Let it be an important lesson to never book without getting money upfront.

If you don’t get payment in the next week from everyone I would cancel everything. Get as much money back as you can.

You need to remind them or you will just end up with a resentment which will spoil the experience ;and your relationships were they aware at the outset what was expected in terms of their contribution ? Does it feel like they are taking advantage of you?
maybe this is a valuable lesson in the perils of paying for things you are not responsible for it’s always good to look at the parts we play in the evolution of the situation do you have a history of enabling/being a door-mat?

never pay upfront

tho a little to late for that now

be blunt and say all owe me x amount and give bank details

why has been 6mths

Tell them as they haven't paid then you're forced to cancel and someone else can organise something.

They aren't going to pay you OP.

I thought this post would turn out to be about someone with unproductive chickens.

And here's me thinking this post was going to be about the economics of keeping chickens....🤭

Well that is great you could manage to pay for yourself but your comment is not helpful. The Group in question decided to pay for the bride and the OP put the money up front. She should not be out of pocket. Why can you not give a helpful response rather than a negative one. Alternatively, do not bother to respond at all if you cannot be bothered to read answers.

I would reply saying thanks to these people, and name them. then list all those who are still outstanding. Learn a lesson here op. Never ever pay for other people ever.

I know this is silly but from the title I thought you were expecting eggs.

You have to make a demand.

Dear Bridesmaids,
This may have slipped your mind, so to prompt your memory, here's a recap: I agreed to pay for the Bride's portion up front with the understanding you would each repay me with your share of the Bride's cost for the hen party in a timely manner. This has not happened yet.

Please pay by this date _ so that we will be square and ALL of us can enjoy the Hen Party without feeling used or exploited. Truthfully, I am a little upset that I even have to write this note. Please pay your portion of this debt so we can all feel good when we are together and there is no tension for the Bride.

Thank you,

Be prepared for them to be pissed at you. If they have not paid you yet then they probably won't or will do it in payments afterwards. If this occurs, you have to call the Bride and tell her that her bridesmaids have, so far, been stiffing you after agreeing to pay their share. Even after you sent them a reminder. They are her choices for bridesmaids which makes her the ultimate guarantor for their behavior for her wedding celebrations.

I’d let them know that if they can’t pay, you’ll have to email the bride and ask her to pay her share as you can’t individually foot the bride’s costs yourself. I do think the bride should have paid though!!

I have a feeling OP wouldn't really do that....

That's a good one.

Send a message stating all their names…
‘hi Amy, sally, Katie and Jo.
please put the money in my account by Friday. Thanks. I need it asap’

then, message them all individually. They are hiding behind each other.
contacting them personally with a call or text should wake them up

Why don't you say that you've now received £x and still need £Y so if that's not forthcoming by tomorrow you will let the bride know so she can pay her share. Thank the ones who have paid and tell them yours and their contributions will be welcome by the bride.

Then message bride:

I'm very sorry Vera we'd agreed to split your share of the hen do and me Amy Betty and Cathy have chiped in but no one else has paid up despite chasing 6 times and giving them all year to pay. Will you please pay me £y for your costs and please don't expect me to pay anything else upfront for this group as I'm tapped out.

Yes this!

I would include a list of their names, so there is no dodging it.

It will be somewhat of a damp squib if you resort to cancelling the room you had booked for yourself and the bride! A bit of a none event for the others who attend…

For a minute I thought you'd bought a load of chickens and they hadn't laid any eggs yet.

Tell them if they don’t pay by xx date, you will need to ask the bride to cover her own share.

Have you been paid now?

You definitely need to stress you are £400 out of pocket at the beginning of the message. Then thank the three that have paid (name them) then list the rest with the £20 owed next to their names. Reiterate this is the third time you have asked in 6 months. If the remaining money isn’t paid by Friday then you will have to explain to the bride that she will be covering the rest of her room and why.

Be direct!