Hens still havent paid me back?

It’s not on you OP for fronting the money, it’s on them for not sticking to the agreement.

Well it kind of is because you cant control what others do, you can only control yourself. So, if people are likely to be flaky about paying then you dont pay out yourself until they have paid you. Simple. That would have avoided all this stress.

You dont put yourself in a position that means you have to worry about money, nag constantly and fret and stress about it.

But some of us enjoy going away with friends! Not everyone thinks they are needless and a waste of money. If the people invited did think this way, they should’ve just said no and opted out.

If they can afford a weekend away, they can afford the £20. If they don’t agree with covering the brides costs, they shouldn’t have agreed to do so. It’s not on you OP for fronting the money, it’s on them for not sticking to the agreement.

I don’t think it’s OP’s fault for paying up front. It looks like everyone booked their own rooms and she is sharing with the bride. So covered the whole room to get it booked. And they all agreed to cover the bride.

Hopefully OP has sent the direct message naming and shaming and highlighting how much she is out of pocket. If they don’t pay up the bride will need to cover her half of the room and OP can explain why.

There are so many threads like this on MN. It doesn’t help you in your situation OP, but I do hope the abroad-hen-trip trend dies a death - it’s expensive and needless and seems to throw up lots of this sort of trouble.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be
good advice from Shakespeare!

That's a rediculous amount for a hen doo

I thought this was going to be about chickens going off lay

Very helpful advice for the OP who has already made the payment. How do you propose she gets the money off people before booking, being that the booking was made 6 months ago? 🙄

I honestly thought this was some sort of profit and loss summary for a hen coop.

Agree, individual also makes them wonder if they're the only ones who haven't paid.

I’d be pissed off with them all and not even want to go now.

Absolutely this, its not fair that you are out of pocket when everyone agreed to pay. Maybe put an extra message that if people can not afford the extra then they should message you personally, that way you could organise a payment plan with them and they are not embarrassed about owing you money over the weekend.
However if you get total silence then I hope you follow through and completely cancel the weekend. I bet these people have the money saved to pay for their drinks and outfits so why not pay you. If the bride is upset then tell her exactly what happened and that she needs to organise something cheaper for everyone to come to either the same date or another time. Please do not take any of this as your fault xx

@MyPurpleHeart is it a WhatsApp chat? If so name and shame!

So did I 😂 I thought hens had been purchased and not laid a single egg

Try sending individual requests as opposed to a group message requesting. Sometimes if people think it is just them that hasn't paid they may be more likely to pay if makes sense. Or send a group one saying thank you so much to those who have paid their share. Bride will really appreciate this and it's not possible for one person to take the hit. Saying thank you to those who have already paid even when no one has may help get the others to get a wriggle on. Or maybe even a step further and say eg Sarah the bride is very grateful and wants to thank you all individually once the weekend is over. Let them think Sarah the bride will know exactly who has and hasn't paid!

I would do this too on the email - list of names with paid:not paid and update -

personally though I do think the bride should pay but I guess you have a precedence with others

Are you saying there are 20 people and not a single person has paid you?

Sorry you’re going through this OP! After being burnt in the past I now organise group events by working out what to do, doing a rough cost pp and then asking for that in instalments with the agreement that anything left over gets put behind the bar or into a kitty. You just can’t rely on people to pay up otherwise!

This is why I've stopped organising stuff.

People just take the piss.

And not 1 of those 20 people have paid the extra £20 to cover the brides share of the trip?. Yet you say that some of these people had their share paid for when it was their own hen trip?. I would try and embarrass them and remind them that they got their hen trip paid for by the rest of you.

Tell them the willy straw budget is gone! And the blow-up man won’t be happening…

They all agreed in advance.

I would go with the maths option.

"Hey all, I still need the payments from XYZ etc. To you its "just twenty quid" but to me, having paid for everyone it adds up to £400 so I need it within the week"

£400 is loads, but £20 is only a little. They've probably not done the maths and gone 20X£20 is £400. They probably just think they can give you £20 on the day because it's not a lot. I think you need to be blunt with something like "hi everyone, I have spent £400 on this and have only had X amount paid to me. I can't afford to be Y amount down, so if everyone else doesn't pay by (date), the last date I can get a refund, I will need to cancel the trip to get the money refunded".

If they don’t want to pay then the bride needs to reimburse you.