Page 13 | Hens still havent paid me back?

MyPurpleHeart · 2026-03-11T08:08:41+00:00

I'm going away on a hen trip for my cousins wedding. When we booked it I paid for the brides share up front with the agreement the hens would pay me their share back. This was 6 months ago. We are a month out and despite me asking a few times, none of the hens have paid me yet. AIBU to ask for this to be paid within the next week? I have expenses for the trip which I was planning to cover with this that I cant yet. For context its around £400

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 11/03/2026 08:16

Seriously thought this was going to be about chickens not laying eggs yet!
But YANBU to ask for the money back. cheeky fuckers!

thaisweetchill · 11/03/2026 08:16

TheCurious0range · 11/03/2026 08:15

I refused to let my bridesmaids pay for me, if I'm old enough to get married I can pay my own way. Of course lots of people bought me drinks etc on the night. Maybe they can't afford to cover the bride given it's already costing them hundreds to attend

Don’t agree to pay in the first place then?

Original poster

MyPurpleHeart · 11/03/2026 08:16

TheCurious0range · 11/03/2026 08:15

I refused to let my bridesmaids pay for me, if I'm old enough to get married I can pay my own way. Of course lots of people bought me drinks etc on the night. Maybe they can't afford to cover the bride given it's already costing them hundreds to attend

But thats not what was agreed when we planned the whole thing, and I paid it upfront and have been out of pocket for six months now

OP posts:

kirinm · 11/03/2026 08:15

MyPurpleHeart · 11/03/2026 08:14

When planning the hen there was a vote on where to go and everyone that is coming was part of the vote. It was a group decision. Everyone also agreed to share the brides cost as this was done on several of the other friends hen parties. Ive asked a couple of times now and got radio silence

Because they feel obliged and basically can’t say no!

kirinm · 11/03/2026 08:15

Brides or their bridesmaids are a nightmare to deal with for Hens. It’s already expensive enough without being expected to pay for the bride.

I am currently involved in watching the most chaotic organisation where we were initially expected to pay £300 a night for accommodation only. Ridiculous

TheCurious0range · 11/03/2026 08:15

I refused to let my bridesmaids pay for me, if I'm old enough to get married I can pay my own way. Of course lots of people bought me drinks etc on the night. Maybe they can't afford to cover the bride given it's already costing them hundreds to attend

Original poster

MyPurpleHeart · 11/03/2026 08:14

When planning the hen there was a vote on where to go and everyone that is coming was part of the vote. It was a group decision. Everyone also agreed to share the brides cost as this was done on several of the other friends hen parties. Ive asked a couple of times now and got radio silence

OP posts:

ChinaPlates · 11/03/2026 08:14

Be very direct and explicit with what you say to them all next. Don’t apologise or dance around the issue. Not that I’m saying you are/have been.

Peclet · 11/03/2026 08:13

Hi hens,

looking forward to our trip. Still monies outstanding ….. please pay into this account by Friday. This is the 4th time asking so getting slightly awks- but no payments no trip.

Firefly100 · 11/03/2026 08:12

If you wanted to play hardball, you could tell them unless they pay you will be unable to go on the trip as you won’t be able to afford to. You must be prepared to follow through though. Personally I would be willing to tell the bride I couldn’t come as her friends had not refunded me.

Trusttheawesomeness · 11/03/2026 08:11

What have the replies been when you’ve asked? Does it seem like everyone is still going or are you getting the sense they might drop out?

Side note - why can’t the bride just pay for herself? Everyone else is taking time out of their lives and work, and also taking a financial hit to enjoy a bloody hen holiday instead of dinner in a local place. I think they’ve given enough of themselves to this event and if the bride wants a sparkly holiday then she can pay her own way.

SpanThatWorld · 11/03/2026 08:10

Unless I receive the amount owed, I won't be sharing the tickets/booking details/whatever.