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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hens still havent paid me back?

312 replies

MyPurpleHeart · 11/03/2026 08:08

I'm going away on a hen trip for my cousins wedding. When we booked it I paid for the brides share up front with the agreement the hens would pay me their share back. This was 6 months ago. We are a month out and despite me asking a few times, none of the hens have paid me yet. AIBU to ask for this to be paid within the next week? I have expenses for the trip which I was planning to cover with this that I cant yet. For context its around £400

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
DraigCymraeg · 25/08/2026 18:12

TheCurious0range · 11/03/2026 08:15

I refused to let my bridesmaids pay for me, if I'm old enough to get married I can pay my own way. Of course lots of people bought me drinks etc on the night. Maybe they can't afford to cover the bride given it's already costing them hundreds to attend

That doesn't excuse them not paying the OP.
I think it's an appalling way to behave.

EmmaB1309 · 23/05/2026 21:48

sesquipedalian · 11/03/2026 08:27

OP, it’s irrelevant whether the bride should have paid for herself or not - you’ve all agreed to pay for the bride, and now the others are not divvying up. I might try to guilt them into it, as clearly asking has not done any good - “I’ve asked nicely three times now, and unfortunately I can’t afford to be £400 out of pocket so if the matter isn’t resolved by Friday, I shall be put in the unfortunate position of having to ask the bride to pay for herself, and let her know why.”

this

Words · 20/04/2026 20:02

Now the days are getting lighter they will start laying again, don’t worry.

SuperMarioToadPrincessPeach · 19/04/2026 16:07

Why are people still suggesting what the OP should do? Hmm

MedlarJelly · 19/04/2026 16:05

DiscoBeat · 19/04/2026 01:04

I thought this was about the lack of eggs from chickens!

Same

Owl55 · 19/04/2026 10:06

Send a named e mail individually as this will be harder to ignore and demand a response x

HoppityBun · 19/04/2026 04:04

DiscoBeat · 19/04/2026 01:04

I thought this was about the lack of eggs from chickens!

Yes, but I also assumed that they were rescue hens not being sufficiently grateful

MrsBrendaFarfetched · 19/04/2026 01:13

This happened to my sister. My hens, well one hen, hadn't paid her share despite promises etc. Sister said she was out of pocket, hen still didnt budge. My sister then told me and was very sorry for involving me. But I was happy she did. I simply asked hen if she was still coming. She said yes and I said my sister hasnt been paid your share and now cant afford trip. So she had to pay by end of today. Or I would be paying sister back. I then sais that I assumed hen wouldnt be coming as she would have no spending money etc. Money was paid that day. People are CF.

DiscoBeat · 19/04/2026 01:04

I thought this was about the lack of eggs from chickens!

Gambino1726 · 19/04/2026 00:00

This still puts no pressure ON THEM. but returns the pressure on YOU to make a move. You have the awkward job of asking the bride - which let’s be honest, you won’t do, so then you have to think of another thing to do.

just fucking tell those women to pay up or cancel!

Rachel2409 · 05/04/2026 10:17

N

anddeepbreathandsigh · 05/04/2026 10:13

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 05/04/2026 09:37

Hi folks, third time of asking, but due to radio silence regarding my first two requests I need to be absolutely clear ... please pay x into my bank account (bank details) by Friday, date, at the latest. If you dont send me your contribution, as agreed, I will need to ask bride to pay your share.

Edited

This was posted a month ago, the Op was paid and updated. You’re the 300th comment, did it not occur to you that others may have offered advice and the threads moved on????

southcoastsammy · 05/04/2026 10:11

Glad you got the money back OP! I was out of pocket £100 for best friends 40th birthday meal as I stupidly said I would sort the bill and people didn’t all pay what they owed! But to save her any stress on the night covered it and never told her as the cheapskates were all her ‘newer’ friends who I don’t know very well.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 05/04/2026 09:37

Hi folks, third time of asking, but due to radio silence regarding my first two requests I need to be absolutely clear ... please pay x into my bank account (bank details) by Friday, date, at the latest. If you dont send me your contribution, as agreed, I will need to ask bride to pay your share.

SadSaq · 23/03/2026 22:11

MyPurpleHeart · 23/03/2026 16:26

So I have an update!

I sent out the message, saying it was time to pay the piper and I need this settled. I got a few payments pretty quickly which was great.

There were a few that tried to long it out until payday but I did push back and they all paid up.

Ive literally got two left to pay, both have which have given me a date in the next two days. So fingers crossed we will be settled up by the time the hen comes around.

Thankyou all for the help and the push in the right direction. Lesson learned, I wont be doing that again!

Blimey they're so cheeky. Bet they spend that on just eat!

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 23/03/2026 19:06

‘Time to pay the piper’

I like it. Glad you’ve got almost all the money. People can be very cheeky when it comes to 💰

LewisFerrux · 23/03/2026 19:02

Congratulations! I'm still owed money for my friend's hen do in 2001, I saw the three culprits at her second wedding last year and glared ferociously at them in remembrance if their debt.

madaboutpurple · 23/03/2026 18:09

I was pleased to read your update info, I am glad that most of your group have paid up. It has taken some of them a long time to sort it for you.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/03/2026 18:07

Glad you have most of money

Original poster
MyPurpleHeart · 23/03/2026 16:26

So I have an update!

I sent out the message, saying it was time to pay the piper and I need this settled. I got a few payments pretty quickly which was great.

There were a few that tried to long it out until payday but I did push back and they all paid up.

Ive literally got two left to pay, both have which have given me a date in the next two days. So fingers crossed we will be settled up by the time the hen comes around.

Thankyou all for the help and the push in the right direction. Lesson learned, I wont be doing that again!

OP posts:
Tink3rbell30 · 17/03/2026 14:20

Update ?

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2026 16:18

I think you need to warn the bride that she may be paying for herself

PGmicstand · 16/03/2026 14:34

Parker231 · 16/03/2026 09:51

I would do a follow up message that unless you receive the outstanding payments by the end of today, x event will be cancelled as there is insufficient money to cover it.

Show quote history

They have paid for themselves so the event can't be cancelled on that basis.
They've not paid an extra £20 each, which they had agreed to, to cover the brides' share.
So if they don't pay, either the bride does or OP does. L

Parker231 · 16/03/2026 09:51

MyPurpleHeart · 11/03/2026 09:50

I have sent a reminder and had 3 payments so far! I said I need it by end of week, didn't say why or what for because thats not the point.

Thankyou all, fingers crossed it'll be swiftly sorted

I would do a follow up message that unless you receive the outstanding payments by the end of today, x event will be cancelled as there is insufficient money to cover it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2026 08:17

A messsge on the group app saying if I’m not paid in the next few days I will be telling the Bride she needs to pay for it herself

I know you all agreed to pay but why do people share the brides cost - I never have

we all share and pay - Bride included

why should she get a free weekend away

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