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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s a DH one.. feeling resentful

110 replies

Browndoor25 · 10/03/2026 20:44

DH lost his job in November and is still looking for something. I do understand that must be hard and I’ve tried to be supportive and not pile pressure on. In the meantime though I’m juggling multiple jobs just to keep everything going. I’m getting up at 5.30am five days a week and working weeks without a single day off. On top of that I’m doing the usual mum stuff with a small child. He is helping with the housework more now at least. Our child has just had a birthday as well and I organised the entire party myself.. invites, food, shopping, party bags, the lot. The thing that tipped me over today was that I asked him if he could do a bit of training with the dog (which we really need to keep on top of). He rolled his eyes and said it was “tiring”. I’m honestly just feeling completely exhausted and a bit resentful that it feels like I’m carrying everything at the moment. I don’t want to be unfair because I know losing a job can knock someone’s confidence. But at the same time I’m up at 5.30am most days and working flat out.

AIBU to feel annoyed about the eye-rolling and the “tiring” comment, or am I being unreasonable given the situation?

OP posts:
Isit2026yet · 10/03/2026 21:02

@Browndoor25 why is he not doing all the load at home, house dog, family life admin, picking up more with child care etc. Why are you letting him get away with doing so little?

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 10/03/2026 20:59

Well, he is a shit husband and a shit father.

tell to get a grip. He should be doing all the housework and parenting.

90sTrifle · 10/03/2026 20:57

@Browndoor25 if he’s not looking for a job he should be getting on with home-life needs.

Create a list of jobs that need doing - do it together and say it’s for you both to work through - when not working or looking for a job. Do the odd one or two things on it, just so he feels you’re working together but leave the rest for him. He may be reluctant like any of us, but hopefully he’ll just suck-it up and get on with them.

LiveLaughGoblin · 10/03/2026 20:55

He’s ’helping with the housework’…well what a hero. Tell the lazy bastard that what’s tiring is working more than full time while doing the majority of the unpaid work. Moping around for 4 months while you pay for everything and run yourself ragged is not on.

roseymoira · 10/03/2026 20:55

Helps with housework?

Lmnop22 · 10/03/2026 20:54

Unless he is literally spending all day every day looking for a job, he should be taking all the household burdens on himself to ease your burden and make sure you only have to work and then relax!

ilovesooty · 10/03/2026 20:52

Helping with the housework? He lives there and he's at home all day.

BudgetBuster · 10/03/2026 20:52

Wtf is he doing all day?
The house should be pristine, all your meals and DC looked after, anything admin related done by him, dog winning awards for its agility, all the diy jobs we put on hold done, gutters cleaned and windows washed.

But seriously... what does he do that tires him out so much?

ladygindiva · 10/03/2026 20:50

He's a lazy bastard. What's he doing all day????

Easterbunnygettingawrapping · 10/03/2026 20:46

Your ddog should be at Crufts standards by now.
And your house pristine.
Curious to know if he finds energy for gaming?