To tell PIL NO SWEETS

I would never allow things like Skittles and gummy bears for my kids — those are pretty much the worst options. People say “find a balance,” and I agree, but that doesn’t mean you have to give them the absolute worst.

My children didn’t have any sweets or chocolate until they were 3. If they don’t know what it is, they don’t miss it.

Now, I set clear boundaries with the grandparents. For example, if they take the kids to the shop, they can get them fresh juice, but no soda or similar drinks. They can still treat the kids if they want to — I just make sure it’s not something unhealthy or a choking hazard.I don't see a problem with that.

Exactly this

I'm 8 hrs I to this argument, it's not even the sweets here it's the complete lack of any of moderation. Even when we have said no sweets she picks our eldest up after school 1 day a week, takes him to a sports class, he's home for dinner and still for his afternoon snack though 2 cheese wraps, a packet of crisps, a twix and a fruit shoot was being healthy. I had to spell it out in the end and say a wrap, slice of cheese and fruit was more sensible. I wouldn't even give him that amount of rubbish for a treat packed lunch. When he was about 3 weeks discovered she was giving him 3-4 fruit shoots when she had him out with her for a few hours. He has suspected ASD and ADHD so you can imagine the impact that had on him. He also happily drinks water so why give him fruit shoots?

Anyway I actually think we're quite anything in moderation as a family but I also don't like them having sweets that are pure sugar. A biscuit or wee bag of crisps is grand but also we have to outright ban them giving the kids sweets or treats because they can't just give them 1 treat. It's madness

Ps I still think sweets are awful, and my kids are teenagers! Luckily they’re not into them too much.

Oh no absolutely not. Your children, your rules. Regardless of whether or not people think it’s ok to give sweets to a 2 year old, you don’t, and you’re their mum so you get to decide. Tell them no!

We avoided all sweet until ours were at school and even then it was only parties and the odd chic bar. Halloween is the difficult one

Please stick to your guns - too many kids have too much sugar and it does nothing to help appetite, behaviour and concentration. Despite all that as a parent you’re in charge of what they eat - if you say no then that’s the end of it. If GP want to treat them then bring stickers, magazines, or just some library/ charity shop books or games and treat them to your time. It’s just lazy in my opinion sorry - I hate this sweet culture in case you can’t tell but it also may be because I have a child with rare genetic condition who can’t ever have sweets so I feel it acutely. Good luck x

Skittles and haribo and other sticky sugar based candy are very very bad for teeth. Any dentist will back up this fact

Choking is a real thing. In my area a child
fatally choked on a pretzel stick eaten while In his car seat and mother was driving. She pulled over and attempted Heinrich but was unsuccessful

I don't let me nearly 3 year old or 16 month old have any sugary stuff and no way would i let them have sweets like that. If you don't want them to have them - your kids, your rules. They need to respect your dietary choices.

Maybe he isn't bothered by it

Thank you! Here to learn 😊 still navigating the picking my battles bit

I never bring sweets to kids, as I respect their parent’s choices. I would ask them to bring bubbles, colouring book or buttons.

This! You sound like a lovely grandparent.

I really don't understand how some grandparents are obsessed with treating kids with stuff that is ultimately bad for them.

My son loves all of his grandparents, even my mum, who barely engaged with him. They're just exciting to him! No stuff on top needed, and certainly not choking hazard sweets.

Raisins are full of sugar as well you know

I’m with you, I was actually much stricter. I still don’t like her to eat sweets, she has ADHD and sweets make things a lot worse. Sugar is so bad. You can’t stop it completely unfortunately but I educated mine from an early age so hopefully that’ll have an impact.
They are your kids and it’s your prerogative what you want and don’t want them to eat, especially when it comes to junk that’s bad for them!

It isn’t. Yes we all have that sort of thing occasionally, but we absolutely know it’s bad for us, whether we choose to ignore it or not. You choice OP.

Lots of people are suggesting Cadburys chocolate as an alternative, but is it really better quality than Haribo sweets? I can’t imagine it is? 🤔

Not sure why everyone is so relaxed about normalising giving large bags of sugary, choking hazard crap to kids.

Tell them to get stickers, colouring, or craft stuff. Thank them for their understanding, but the sweets are causing problems on days the GPs aren't even around. They're demanding them, and it's causing bad behaviour.

Don't take anything the GPs give off them to eat after dinner though. Of course they'll kick off. And that demonises particular foods, creates the idea that some foods are treats. If a small packet of buttons or whatever is given, it should be at a time of your choosing, as the parent. It's the only way to normalise a balanced, normal diet for your kids for their whole life. It starts here.

I don’t buy DGS (2) sweets. He doesn’t need to be eating them. I’ve got him a little Lindt chocolate bunny and a small Freddo Easter egg for his Easter egg hunt. His parents will probably eat those, though.

So many sweets are choking hazards. It’s marshmallows that scare me most but so many people are unaware of the dangers of them and give them to their toddlers, and little children. It’s frightening.

I’d be furious if my 5yo and 2yo were given sweets or chocolate by their grandparents. They all know (and respect!) that we would prefer to avoid these totally for the 2yo, and that the 5yo can only have them at birthday parties.

I agree with others that it’s probably better to broach this in conversation rather than via text message though. Have done similar with MIL regarding mountains of toys! I think as long as you approach the issue kindly and acknowledge their lovely intentions, it won’t be an issue.

Is there a reason your DH can’t have this conversation with his own mother? Why is it up to you to be the one agonising over messages?

I always ask-if my kids have their own when they grow up, I will ask the mum or dad, whichever is nearer, just as I do now with friends' kids. I would just check your partner hasn't said it's ok.
Then I would politely say I don't want her to have that because it's a choking issue/sweets aren't advised so young. It's fine to say advice has changed (it has; rules about car seats and what I could eat in pregnancy changed after my first, and I changed what I did) so your PIL should respect that too. Just be polite and gentle as you say it, and they should be fine.

Where is your DH in this? Why in earth is it you and not him that's resolving it?

I’m all for healthy eating but the odd sweets now and then are what kids love. Thank god my mum wasn’t as fanatical or overbearing about them.

Poor PILs, I bet they love dealing with DS’s wife 😅