How long is acceptable to be off work

Unbelievable. I got 2 days, one of which to include the funeral, when my father died 8 years ago. I work for the NHS and that was the guidance.

Friday possibly fair enough. Why did he take Monday off?
Assume he will also want time off for the funeral?

If he's on a zero contract hours arrangement then it's absolutely irrelevant what the norm is in any company, he can take as much time off as he likes, they're not paying him? Flexibility cuts both ways, they can't have their cake and eat it. Employers cannot legally mandate that he is available

If there is a policy on how much notice he needs to give about taking time off that also covers sudden bereavement then he should check that he was compliant with that but they didn't ask him to work, they waved him off.

Maybe it's prompted a conversation about how valuable he is and that he should be moved onto a perm contract. Changes are coming in 2027 to these contracts.

Either way, I hope it goes well.

I work in a school (non-teaching role) and the Headteacher gave me 2 days when my Aunt died and because the funeral was 5-6 hours away, she gave me 4 days. Paid. Your husband needs to check his contract. All employers are different.

Did he self cert for the 2 working days as sickness?

Or did he ask for compassionate leave?

Has he had any other recent sickness or absences? If he hasn’t, then I wouldn’t worry about it.

Stepgrandparent? Jesus Christ...😆

I had a week off, paid and the day of and day after the funeral. It all depends on your employer really.

Two of my grandparents died before I was born, the other two died when I was a student.

I do remember a colleague getting miffed that she had to take annual leave for the funeral of a step-grandparent so maybe getting paid time off for the funeral is fairly normal?

As others have said, it would depend if they were close and you needed to eg help sell their house etc or they were a distant figure and you were just meant to show at the funeral - and all shades of grey inbetween. Good employers treat their employees as individuals.

Right. Wales is obviously more generous!

I think it’s standard across all councils in Wales. We are LA schools obviously.

That's a very generous allowance. I've not known another school to give so much leave, but obviously your school does.

I’m also a teacher.

For parents, siblings and children we get 5 days plus one day for the funeral.

For grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins we get 2 days plus one day for the funeral.

For in-laws we get one day for the funeral.

Other people are at the discretion of the HT. I had a good friend pass without warning in their sleep age 46, and was allowed a day for the funeral. HT initially said 1/2 a day, but then when it was explained the funeral was 4 hours away granted the day. Paid.

In reality few people stick to the prescribed times. My colleague lost their sister a few years ago and was off for the best part of a year. I expect that’s where a GP note comes in though.

A day or two, plus the funeral.

That really depends. For some people, their gran brought them up and did everything for them, and they were then the sole carer. Other people barely knew them. Workplaces, in my personal experience, don't have a set number of days, but most would be flexible with a reliable employee. If they aren't, and the bereaved personally is genuinely struggling, they can get a fit note. Some workplaces might be flexible about allowing more wfh/flexible hours to sort out the horrible things we need to do when someone dies.

My gps all died when I was still a child, but I cannot call to mind a single colleague having taken compassionate leave for a gp.

It would probably depend on circumstances…..I was executor of GP will and was tasked with a great deal of admin as well as finalising plans for the funeral. ĞP was very obliging and signed me off sick for a couple of weeks. Not sure that applies now as employees have a Fit Note don’t they.

Two days is not unreasonable and to be honest it depends on the relationship and your husbands contract of employment. If you have a copy, look at what his entitlement is for bereavement and compassionate leave.

If he was the Grandparents main carer or he was exceptionally close then its all mitigating background. Or maybe his parents were unable to deal with requirements i.e. undertakers or the surviving grandparents grief and it fell to him.

There is no statutory right to paid bereavement leave for grandparents, but there is a statutory right to reasonable unpaid time off for dependants (people you care for are dependents) if the death creates an immediate practical crisis (e.g., arranging care, dealing with urgent matters). Two days is absolutely within the range of “reasonable” to me but he may not get paid for them and that maybe what they wish to speak to him about? Whether its paid or unpaid can be at the discretion of the Manager so the manager may need more info. But as your husband is on a zero hours contract, I personally think the chat will be to point out that he will not get paid.

This is a difficult point because whilst your husband has a zero hrs contract, if he has been working full time for a long time, he could be deemed as having more rights than a zero hrs contract.

We can't plan for such events and the truth is that it sometimes "inconveniences" others but the alternative is having a person at work, who is not fit to be there.

My stepson had 3mths off work when his mum died, we all react differently.

If they phoned in, explained the situation, and followed the normal absence reporting procedure, then disciplinary action would be unreasonable.

Misconduct only arises if someone fails to notify, fails to follow procedure, disappears without contact so if he contacted his boss as per the contract on the Friday and Monday then he should be OK.

But having had the two days off, I wouldn't expect to get a paid leave day for the funeral.

However long it takes for you to feel up to working but you may need to take leave. I don’t think anybody can dictate when you feel ok to work as that’s not how grief works.

Your employer will have their rules though.

When my uncle was diagnosed terminally ill with cancer I went home early as I burst into tears in the office (I found out when at work) and got a day off the next day. I was also given a couple of days for his funeral.

My brother’s employer wanted to give him zero time off as he could not understand why my brother was upset as it was “just an uncle”. Different people see different relationships differently. But we cannot select what plunges us into a sad state.

My colleague has been off for two weeks so far.
She was incredibly close with them so has been signed off by a doctor x

I took a week in 2005 for my mum, a week in 2009 for my brother, and a week in 2011 for my stepdad. I wouldn't take anywhere near a week for a grandparent.

When I worked in the public sector, a few years ago, a colleague took six months leave on full pay when her hamster died.

Bit mean if he's only had two days off. That's not much at all.

I was given two weeks but I was my nans executor (hated all her children) and it was a three hour drive away.

When my gran died i wasnt allowed any time off but for her funeral i was allowed half a day, and i was expected to work either the morning if the funeral was in the afternoon or work the afternoon if the funeral was in the morning. Given that my gran lived 3 hours away i told them that this wasnt possible and i had to book half a days annual leave.

They actually ummed and ahhed if i was allowed to have half day annual leave, i told them straight, approve it or dont but i wont be here.

Found out after that i was allowed 3 days compassionate leave. Bastards.

I don't think a Friday and a Monday off is unreasonable here. Particularly as your DH has a zero hours contract and therefore won't get paid.
Perhaps his boss wants to know how he is, whether he needs anymore time off and when the funeral is (another day off)? and therefore needs to plan accordingly.
Im sorry for your loss x

I was given half a day to attend my grandad's funeral by my branch manager and was expected to go into work afterwards at another branch.

When I arrived I was sent straight home because they could all too clearly see how upset I was.