Page 5 | How long is acceptable to be off work

Helen1625 · 10/03/2026 20:40

Elbone · 10/03/2026 17:37

This thread is horrific.

We’re not robots.

You should take as much leave as you need and not feel pressured to return after two days if you’re not ready.

This 👆

Helen1625 · 10/03/2026 20:36

TubeScreamer · 10/03/2026 18:31

I wasn’t allowed even one day off for my grandmothers funeral. My boss at the time had an important golf day planned, and one of us had to be there.

I remember when my dad died and I said at work that the funeral is on X date and they said 'You need to fill in a special leave request form.' My response was 'I'm not asking for permission.' I'm usually very respectful of rules, I don't take time off as a general rule, quite the opposite I drag myself in even if I feel rough because I don't want to let anyone down. However, the thought of asking permission on that occasion really made me cross! Sometimes employers act like they own you.

LoyalMember · 10/03/2026 20:34

handsdownthebest · 10/03/2026 19:52

I worked in the NHS too. The amount of pisstake for absence was unbelievable. Really difficult to sack people. Decided to leave because couldn't put up with people's bullshit any longer.

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My wife works in a hospital for NHS Scotland, and the absenteeism is farcical. You just about need to murder someone to get sacked.

MakeMineAMilkyTea · 10/03/2026 20:33

I got 1.5 days off when my gran died. Half a day when I went home after finding out she had died and then a day for the funeral

Helen1625 · 10/03/2026 20:32

I think it would be a pretty heartless employer to punish someone for taking a few days off to grieve. Grief affects different people in different ways. I wouldn't have thought a couple of days is in any way excessive. As someone said above, hopefully it will just be a back to work interview or just to touch base and see how he is. I think even the most basic policy allows 3 days paid/unpaid for a bereavement.

handsdownthebest · 10/03/2026 19:52

TheGander · 10/03/2026 18:58

If you need half a year off after a grandparent dies, do the decent thing and resign. Don’t stay home being paid while your colleagues pick up the slack. That’s just ridiculous, selfish and unsustainable, that’s why.

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I worked in the NHS too. The amount of pisstake for absence was unbelievable. Really difficult to sack people. Decided to leave because couldn't put up with people's bullshit any longer.

TheGander · 10/03/2026 18:58

Wellthisisdifficult · 10/03/2026 17:30

Why is it “unbelievable” how do you know anything behind this? Who are you to judge What effect losing a loved one has?

This thread seems to be full of competitive grieving like it’s an achievement to make a love ones death as un disruptive as possible. I find that extremely sad.

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If you need half a year off after a grandparent dies, do the decent thing and resign. Don’t stay home being paid while your colleagues pick up the slack. That’s just ridiculous, selfish and unsustainable, that’s why.

TubeScreamer · 10/03/2026 18:31

I wasn’t allowed even one day off for my grandmothers funeral. My boss at the time had an important golf day planned, and one of us had to be there.

raisinglittlepeople12 · 10/03/2026 18:27

A week. I’ve never taken more than a few days though, I wish I’d taken longer

LoyalMember · 10/03/2026 18:27

Wellthisisdifficult · 10/03/2026 17:30

Why is it “unbelievable” how do you know anything behind this? Who are you to judge What effect losing a loved one has?

This thread seems to be full of competitive grieving like it’s an achievement to make a love ones death as un disruptive as possible. I find that extremely sad.

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No, you're just advocating near endless time off which is unsustainable in the workplace.

Edited for spelling.

Melonmango70 · 10/03/2026 18:13

Sounds like a regular check in following an absence. Box ticking. Try not to worry xxx

BlueMum16 · 10/03/2026 18:06

Comefromaway · 10/03/2026 12:12

It could just be a standard return to work interview

This.

I would expect they are checking he's ok and if he's likely to need more time off (funeral)

I'm sorry for your loss.

Melonmango70 · 10/03/2026 18:05

I took a week off after my nan died. I just couldn't function. I don't know if I I was paid or not, I was very lucky not to have to care. I think you should be able to take the time you need, no matter what the connection xx

Fatsnowflake · 10/03/2026 18:01

If I lost my child there’s no way I’d be back at work in 5 days!

PersephoneParlormaid · 10/03/2026 17:58

My employer would give you one day for the funeral, but a GP would put you sick for longer.

Jollyhockeystickss · 10/03/2026 17:49

shortsout · 10/03/2026 11:44

Dh lost his granddad on Thursday and took Friday off and then had the weekend home anyway, he also took Monday off and went back this morning but his boss has asked for a meeting tomorrow morning and he’s worried it will be about this.
I was wondering if people thought that was reasonable? Or not?
My concern is for his job really.

It doesnt matter what anybody thinks is reasonable the answer is generally you get one day for a parents funeral and thats it, if you take any more time off i assume that goes down as sick leave as companies dont care, unless he took it as holiday and thats different tho they will probably still kick off, i knew someone whos parent died young so took ONE day off for funeral, 2 years later other parent died so they asked for day off for funeral and they said no as we give just one day only!!! Needless to say this person just went off sick for weeks

Theyreeatingthedogs · 10/03/2026 17:41

Just the funeral.

ThatLilacTiger · 10/03/2026 17:40

I wouldn't expect any time taken off work except for logistical purposes like being far from the office when visiting them, and then a day for the funeral. I didn't take any time off when my nan died and took a half day for her funeral. I was about as close to her as the average person. I guess if they raised you then that would be different but I'd honestly raise an eyebrow at an adult needing time off work to grieve a grandparent.

JenniferBooth · 10/03/2026 17:40

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 10/03/2026 17:16

If he's on a zero contract hours arrangement then it's absolutely irrelevant what the norm is in any company, he can take as much time off as he likes, they're not paying him? Flexibility cuts both ways, they can't have their cake and eat it. Employers cannot legally mandate that he is available

If there is a policy on how much notice he needs to give about taking time off that also covers sudden bereavement then he should check that he was compliant with that but they didn't ask him to work, they waved him off.

Maybe it's prompted a conversation about how valuable he is and that he should be moved onto a perm contract. Changes are coming in 2027 to these contracts.

Either way, I hope it goes well.

THIS.

Elbone · 10/03/2026 17:37

This thread is horrific.

We’re not robots.

You should take as much leave as you need and not feel pressured to return after two days if you’re not ready.

Reepycreepy · 10/03/2026 17:34

I worked as a nurse in the NHS when my dad died. My line manager agreed a week off. Subsequently she said she’d be wrong and I had to have it as unpaid leave. That’s the caring NHS for you.

Elbone · 10/03/2026 17:34

SuziQuinto · 10/03/2026 16:41

That's a very generous allowance. I've not known another school to give so much leave, but obviously your school does.

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5 days is not generous for the loss of a child.

Realistically, OP, you can have as long as your sick leave allows. You can be signed off by a doctor if you’re too depressed to work due to a bereavement.

Femalemachinest · 10/03/2026 17:34

I think were allowed 2 days paid for grandparents. But tbh if people need more unpaid i dont think anyone has been denied it.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 10/03/2026 17:31

None. Compassionate leave for the day of the funeral.

Wellthisisdifficult · 10/03/2026 17:30

TheGander · 10/03/2026 17:22

Unbelievable. I got 2 days, one of which to include the funeral, when my father died 8 years ago. I work for the NHS and that was the guidance.

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Why is it “unbelievable” how do you know anything behind this? Who are you to judge What effect losing a loved one has?

This thread seems to be full of competitive grieving like it’s an achievement to make a love ones death as un disruptive as possible. I find that extremely sad.