How long is acceptable to be off work

I’d say the day after they died and the day of the funeral. My Dad recently died and that’s how much my children had off school so I would expect the same in the workplace.

What are you talking about? There's a hell of a difference between taking time off for a grandparent and taking time off because you have cancer.

It’s probably just a return to work meeting, OP. My employer never bothered with them but with the upcoming April changes they’re all over it now as well.

It’s difficult to judge what’s appropriate. Every person grieves differently. I think a Friday and a Monday are entirely reasonable though.

I think it would vary depending on a number of factors including
*How close they were - how hard the death impacted them
*If the person had to make the arrangements/do the practical admin things ( there may not always be a spouse/child able to do it so could end up being grandchild that does them).

• If the grandchild needed to give care/support to their parent/the other grandparent.

When my grandparents died I only took a day off for the funeral. Whilst we were close, I didn't need to do anything ( parents/other grandparent aunt and uncle were doing that). I would have taken leave if I wanted time off, and both times taking a day or two off wouldn't have been an issue.

Other have taken longer than me for the death of a parent. I could have taken longer, but initially took 3 days off. (Went back 5 days after his death). There was no persuasion from my employer, it felt right for me to go back when I did. However, I did end up doing some shorter days, or having to go out at points during the day sometimes. It was never an issue, because of the circumstances.

Some others have taken far longer. It is for the employee to discuss with the employer as to how much time they have off. Not any of my business, other than needing to know what I can do to help them.

The NHS gives 3 days carers or compassionate leave a year, over that would have to be taken as sick or annual leave.

If it had been pre agreed you should have gone to your union rep.

When my nan died (I was very close to her) I had one day off and then one day for the funeral 🫤

I took 2 weeks off in total, which included the last 2 days of my grandmother's life as I was by her bedside. We were very close and I was distraught. According to the organisations policies and procedures, I shouldn't have been paid, but I was. Luckily, my manager had also been very close to her grandparents and was very understanding.

You are not. State jobs are a piss take for days off. My friend works in the council, she has weeks off paid. I get 6 days a year paid sick days because it is the law but you’re snarled at if you have a sick day.

For a good reliable and responsible worker I would ask them what they need and trust that is what is needed.

For someone who is constantly "at it", constantly needing away from work for dubious reasons and has low output and frustrates the team, I would say a day for the funeral (and can use.leave for any othet time off)

In your case OP, as the time has been taken already, perhaps he can explain to his employer why 2 days (with a 2 day weekend in the middle) was needed. I am suspicious about that tbf but I dont know the full details. Whether absence reporting procedure followed would also be on my mind. Forefront would be welfare check - if 4 days needed, is more support needed. Hope it all goes ok. Sorry for your loss.

Not really. But I think the way to tackle the rise in benefits is to see why people are claiming them, and actually help them (as in not fucking sanction them).

I hope the meeting went okay. Two days is fine in my opinion.

I know I’ve probably come across as a heartless old bitch here. But it’s because I want us to keep having a social security system and not become like America that I am concerned about the level of overuse/ abuse of the benefit system and in work sickness pay in the NHS.

I think that was the case here.

There is such a thing as pathological grief ( that goes on way longer than grief usually does). My suspicion is she had pre existing mental health issues and her mother was her support system, leading to a collapse when the mother was no longer there.

She is not on benefits. Is living off her inheritance. But she has still has assessments etc to get her pension stamp.

I am not entirely sure how it all works

15 years out of work for bereavement. Would she have stayed out of work for so long if there wasn’t a social security system to fund that I wonder?

I lost my mum very suddenly when I was 27. I had 4 weeks compassionate leave so I do understand. The loss of a grandparent is not usually such a shock and to take 6 months off is ridiculous. I have had colleagues go off sick ( stress related) for 6 months, come back when the paid leave is expiring, work the statutory minimum to qualify and then go off sick again. All paid for by the tax payer. It’s not sustainable.

Not a grandparent, but I know a lady who became very ill after her mum died... she ended up sectioned. That was about 15 years ago, and she is still not classed as fit for work.

Some people are deeply affected by grief, and that should not be dismissed.

And that is why there is such stigma attached to mental health with attitudes like that

I took emergency holiday to attend my grandparents funerals. In both instances my employer only gave compassionate leave for immediate family: mum, dad, sibling.

It is a bereavement. Sadly, a lot of work places are strict about such things.
I was not even allowed to attend my grandad's funeral.

I agree. I adored my GPs, but had no time off at all when my GF died (his funeral was on a Saturday). Of course the loss of a loved relative is sad, but when they are elderly it has to be accepted and prepared for, it shouldn't plunge people into overwhelming grief. I'm not in the UK btw and would have been entitled to three days bereavement leave, I just didn't feel I needed to take it.

It shows a complete lack of understanding of how the loss of a loved one can affect you, would you like someone with cancer to resign?

Let’s hope you never become ill and need a few months off work to recover. If you do let’s hope you have the decency to resign!

Eh? What you on about? Nobody's talking about the death of a child... Why are you overdramatising this thread?

Entirely depends on your employers policy. Mine covers spouses, siblings, parents, grandparents and in laws

edited to add it’s also completely at managers discretion for anybody after this, so if you are particularly close with an aunt for example they will approve