How long is acceptable to be off work

Annual leave or unpaid leave. Maybe the day of the funeral unpaid leave All grandparents die before their grandchildren. Annual leave isn’t just for holidays.

sorry for your loss. Unfortunately time off costs organisations money, and there has to be some kind of guide. The special leave is technically for organising the funeral etc, not for grieving. If someone needs longer than the standard 5 days, then that’s fine but they’d need to be signed off as sick.

Personally i’d probably take the day of the funeral. For my dad I took 5 days, and so did my brother. Everyone is different, i’m someone who does better staying in my routine and keeping busy. I’d think most employers wouldn’t be expecting someone to be off long for a grandparent. We would probably give a couple of days special leave, no longer as it’s only 5 for a parent / child.

Surely a lot depends on age. At 14, I was utterly devastated by my 60 yr old g mother dying.

At 30 when my 80+ grandad died, it was sad, but not day off work sad.

When people are in their 40s etc and a gparent of 80+ dies, well, it's sad but not really life changing.

Think I had 4 or 5 days off in total when my mum died last year.

Legally that would be dependent on the compassionate leave allocation in your contract.

Sorry for the loss of your mum.

Why is it a leap? Are you that poorly educated you have no understanding of the long term debilitating effects of poor mental health, I’d say it’s a very good link, both are diseases of the brain. Are you only sympathetic to an illness that shows up on a scan? Good God, it’s like for some people it’s still 1863. What else do you think? Women shouldn’t be allowed reasonable adjustments for menopause? They should be locked up for “hysteria”? Pathetic!

Well my mum died suddenly a few weeks ago and this thread is making me very glad I am self employed and able to return to work at my own pace.
I can't imagine having my grief timelined for me by some corporation.

This thread makes me so happy that I work for a company that knows it employs human beings as opposed to robots. Good god.

A brain tumour and stress? Wow, that's some leap.

No, you’re part of the problem with the stigmatisation of mental health, you’re part of the problem why in certain groups say 15-34 year olds suicide is the biggest cause of death, why those in middle age and certain ethnic groups see such high levels. It’s disgusting. There’s almost no help to help cure people. Outdated views like yours add to the mental health crisis. Let’s hope you or your kids never suffer. Attitudes like yours would stop your kids. Coming to you for help. Let’s hope they don’t make up any part of the above statistics because no one is immune from poor mental health.

I hope you’re too embarrassed to voice your prejudice in public. Do you make the same comments about physical illnesses? “What a year off with a brain tumour????” I can’t believe in this day and age there’s still people so poorly educated as you about mental health, it would be laughable if it didn’t have such serious consequences.

I’d be allowed a day off for the funeral. It’s sad of course, but grandparents die…that’s the natural cycle.

A year off with 'stress' ? You're part of the problem if you think that's okay.

So what would you have liked your ill colleague to do?

No people are competing against each other as to how little they need to disrupt work for when a close relative dies. That’s unsustainable from a mental health perspective. It’s extremely sad imo. People are willing to forget their family and their own needs for the whims of an employer who doesn’t give a shit about you and would forget all about you every existing within a month of you dying. That prioritisation of work over family is harmful to society.

I assume if there was more to it than a normal grandparent/grandchild relationship eg he was actually raised by his grandparent, the OP would have mentioned it.

It depends on the situation and relationship.

I'm quite involved in caring for my one remaining grandparent, because DF is an only child, is physically unwell and struggles with it all emotionally. At times he just can't do things, and it's likely I'll have to be involved in the death admin, clearing and selling her house, etc. I will probably need to take some compassionate leave just to get things done.

I think it depends on what his overall attendance is like. If he’s never had a day off then they could cut him some slack but in normal circumstances it is a lot for a grandparent especially as he will probably need a day off for the funeral.

why did he take monday off?
monday is always an odd day

I would just expect to have the day of the funeral off. If executor of their will, then time off for meetings with solicitors that couldn’t be arranged out if working hours.

Yes, and for some, a grandparent is like a parent.

I wouldn’t judge that. Losing a parent is so hard, especially if you’re still a child. But this is about a grandparent.

I would assume the meeting is to see if he is ok to return to work and nothing more?

When I was in school, someone lost their mum. She was off for about 6 months.

It depends on your relationship.
I know people who were carers for their grandparents.