How long is acceptable to be off work

DS’s last job, he wasn’t even guaranteed time off for the funeral.

Each of my grandparents died in the morning of a work day. I left immediately each time so that's one day off then one day for the funeral.

No annual leave required

We are entitled to time off for the funeral of anyone who is not parent or child.

Op what your dh took sounds reasonable to me and a number of my old jobs would have been fine with it. Unfortunately there are always the robots that believe life slots back into place the day after someone dies and doesn’t realise the person may be upset, might live away from the family area and or might need to help other family members out x

You can only be on a zero hours contract for four years. After that you're deemed to be permanent. Your DH should contact ACAS. They're very helpful.

A day for the funeral would be reasonable. But a lot of employers would ask you to use holiday leave.

I personally only had one grandparent left when I became an adult and I went back to work the next day. I had the funeral off. I think I would expect that from most people unless their grandparent played a parenting role, or there was no one else in the family to do all the death admin. Reading this thread I see people do differently though.

I lost my mum in my 20s and I had a day off for the funeral and the day after.
Wallowing doesn't really help me !

I managed some fairly large teams over the years & you know how to play it if you are on the ball & know your staff. Some people only want/need a few days off.
Others I knew had been brought up by their grandparents so cut them slack and gave them compassionate leave based on stress.
The standard days off for a death just don't cut it for everyone, I never had any pushback from our HR when I presented the case clearly.
Yes I'm sure there are some who would try to milk it, but that is down to any manager knowing their team. Something I think that is sadly missing these days.

5 days compassionate leave at my place, but also have up to 6 months paid sick leave a year when you’ve worked there for 4 years (British bank). I’ve seen colleagues take anywhere from the 5 days to a few months for a grandparent. I’ve never lost anyone and I’m dreading it!

Do you mean paid time off, or just time off? You can self certify sickness for a week so that’s fine. I’d get a day off for the funeral but nothing else “compassionate” in my work. It’s normally clearly laid out in policies.

DH’s work would give 5 if needed but are more of an employee focused employer with good benefits as he gets 4 months paid paternity. He took the day off for his uncles funeral last month and they offered him the day after off too.

Mine offer the day of the funeral only.

If you have to travel, a few days plus funeral I think.

If grandparent lived nearby, a couple of days here and there to help.

Err, surely this would depend on the needs of the individual?
People respond differently so no one on here can answer this.
If you need time off then speak with your GP
I am sorry for your loss and hope you are able to take the time you need and grieve

Just the day of the funeral unless you are having a breakdown. Losing a GP is sad but life - and work - goes on.

This is what would be reasonably normal in my workplace.

Pretty much the day of the funeral and maybe the day after.

Oh if only that was true the world would be a happier place. While there is a natural order it is by no means always the case.
Hope everything went ok today @shortsout.

Goodness only knows in this day and age, where everything is so regulated and governed by social media.
As a student in the late 1970s, one grandmother died shortly before Easter and I needed to go home about 5 days before the end of term because my parents were at the other end of the country for the funeral etc. and I was the only sibling with a driving licence.
When my other granny died, about 6 months later, it was a little different as she had looked after me from a baby to when I was 3. I needed to ask permission to be away for the funeral, but I was probably only away for 1 or 2 days of actual study time.
In both cases everyone was very sympathetic and understanding.
When my parents died, I took no time off immediately, but went to the funerals. That sounds really heartless, but I was much older (and so were they). In on case I saw the parent 6 days before they died, which was an inevitability (cancer). In the other case it was unexpected, but I was in the situation that I could come home and sort things out with my siblings.
I should add that when both my parents died, my work was extremely understanding and supportive. I just didn't need much support, though, as at 86 and 89 it was a matter of time.
I am sorry for your husband's loss, particularly if this was his first family death and/or he was close to this grandparent. However, he cannot make it an excuse to shy away from work issues that might already not be going well.
The two things should be separated and dealt with individually.

Grown adults needing time off of more than a few days for a grandparents death isn’t really acceptable. As a society we really have to start facing and thinking about death more- speaking to our loved ones about their plans for how they wish to die and where etc. Stop thinking people should live forever and acting shocked when they don’t. “Suddenly at 95 years of age!?!?” WTF it is hardly sudden!!! I see many elderly frail and sick people who really should have been allowed to die ten years ago, but modern medicine insist on preventing their bodies from aging appropriately and dying. Instead giving them extra years with zero quality of life, debt and stress.
If you are an adult and a grandparent dies then you should expect a day off around the time of death and then a day for the funeral. Anything else is a bit much tbh.

I took a day to spend with my grandma when I knew she was about to pass. I then took a day for her funeral

Any update @shortsout ? How did the meeting go?

So he took Friday off and Monday as well? Why, was he too upset to work? It seems excessive to me for a grandparent unless they were particularly close (you don't say in your post) and it's not unreasonable for his boss to ask him to explain himself.

Presumably he'll want more time off for the funeral as well, and his boss will want advance warning of that.

A day for the funeral.

But then, I had one day off then three afternoons for appointments the week my mum died. I needed to go to work.

All the employers I've had would only allow compassionate leave for direct family i.e. spouse, parents, kids.

Not extended family. You would be expected to use annual leave and it would only be allowed if rotas permitted.

I'm not saying that's fair, but that tends to be the case in my experience!

My work policy wouldn't give leave at all. In practise with my own team I'd usually:

• offer that someone can go home if they got the news while at work
• allow for flexible working eg remote working/wfh if they need to travel to their mum or dads house to be with family/help with arrangements
• give the day of the funeral off.

I simply would have not shown up and let HR deal with it. Ridiculous.