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AIBU?

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Original poster

To Think that Disability Shouldn't be a Trump Card

247 replies

MissAustenMadeAQuilt · 10/03/2026 10:27

Don't know how to link but the case is easy to find.

Martin Madden worked for the Met Police as a civilian worker.

He made many crude, lewd and sexual remarks to women co-workers and eventually he was sacked for this.

He has gone to a tribunal. As he was diagnosed with ADHD in 2022, the judge found that he was disabled and was not aware that his actions were inappropriate.

He will now be compensated.

This, and the recent Tourettes case where a racial slur was excused because of disability, makes me wonder if ADHD and Tourettes will now be a "Get Out of Jail Free" card and it is PoC and Women who will suffer the consequences.

I do have a skin in the game. I am woman and have a mixed race child.

AIBU?

OP posts:
YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:38

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OK if I’m so thick, tell me / why is film ok a nd disability not?

You can’t answer because you know there is no answer that doesn’t make you look like you’re wrong

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:37

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:36

I wasn’t.

But I can seen why that nuance would be too much for you.

Show quote history

You were. I see you trying and failing to deflect.

Why can Hollywood actors play a part and say the n word and it be acceptable but a disabled man saying it is offensive?

Why can’t you answer?

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:36

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YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:36

Sirzy · 10/03/2026 17:31

I think someone deciding to call posters thick is alway a sign they realise that their argument has no validity and they can’t come up with a sensible response.

Yep.

”I’ll insult someone because if I answer their question my prejudice and ableism will show”

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:36

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:32

Please don’t compare disabled people to criminals

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I wasn’t.

But I can seen why that nuance would be too much for you.

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:35

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It seems you are the one too thick to answer a simple question: why is a Hollywood actor paying a part and doing it on purpose to make money, OK to say it, but not a disabled man with zero control of his words?

It’s not hard. Give it a try.

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:34

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LadyVioletBridgerton · 10/03/2026 17:33

Why is it just PoC and women who will be affected?

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:32

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Please don’t compare disabled people to criminals

Betterthantherichesofthisworld · 10/03/2026 17:32

"Welcome to Biscuitland: A Year In The Life Of A Touretteshero " is well worth reading. I learned a huge amount.

Sirzy · 10/03/2026 17:31

I think someone deciding to call posters thick is alway a sign they realise that their argument has no validity and they can’t come up with a sensible response.

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:31

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Right so it’s ok when somebody is playing a part so doing it on purpose …but not ok to be disabled?

A bit rich you calling other people thick

Nathan Lane wasn’t playing a slave owner. Was it ok for him to say it when he was playing a part?

Again just figuring out the rules

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:29

onelumporthree · 10/03/2026 17:24

I haven't read anything else, just reacting to the idea that someone with ADHD can be abusive to female colleagues and use this as an excuse.

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Edited to say posted too soon

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:29

And it’s important we distinguish this because people with Tourette’s are at a high risk of suicide and still experience daily harrasment. It’s important we distinguish what disabled people can’t do, and other people can, and why.

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:29

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YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:28

Sirzy · 10/03/2026 17:22

Why? In a film it is people making a decision that that term is fine to use.

When someone has Tourette’s it’s that persons disability meaning they have no control over what comes out of their mouth.

why is the controlled, planned for one fine but not the uncontrolled?

Show quote history

It seems that people are so in awe of Hollywood stars and their “art” they forgive them for anything

John Davidson had the temerity to jay be a normal disabled bloke it seems

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:27

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Besides my point is that it seems that people can pick and choose when to be offended by it. Your reply has confirmed this is the case. I’m just trying to figure out the rules I guess

Disabled man with no control = not ok
Millionaire movie star looking to make more money = fine.

Why?

ParmaVioletTea · 10/03/2026 17:27

This, and the recent Tourettes case where a racial slur was excused because of disability, makes me wonder if ADHD and Tourettes will now be a "Get Out of Jail Free" card and it is PoC and Women who will suffer the consequences.

ADHD and Tourettes are not the same, and you are unreasonable to lump them together.

The BAFTAs (and the BBC subsequently) completely mishandled John Davidson's presence (the sufferer of Tourettes), and Mr Davidson had apparently warned them. He cannot help saying the worst thing - if there'd been women up on stage, he'd have probably - involuntarily - yelled out "Cunts."

(Interesting isn't it that we can say that word, but the N-word would get my post deleted & me on a warning here).

I don't know about the ADHD explanation as a reason for being a sexist pig - that strikes me as a far more dodgy judgement. But sufferers from Tourettes syndrome absolutely cannot help what they say, and it makes their lives hell.

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:26

onelumporthree · 10/03/2026 17:24

I haven't read anything else, just reacting to the idea that someone with ADHD can be abusive to female colleagues and use this as an excuse.

Show quote history

Yep I was the same hence I sought out the judgement.

The Daily Heil haven’t told the full story.

YiddlySquat · 10/03/2026 17:26

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I can distinguish between a film and real life thanks

Im asking WHY the film aspect is OK for a white man to say the n word - when his actions are completely purposeful and controlled, and motivated by money..:but a disabled man who has NO control or motivation is unacceptable?

Why was it ok for DiCaprio to say it?
Or Nathan Lane in American Crime Story as I watched recently

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:25

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onelumporthree · 10/03/2026 17:24

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:19

In fairness that’s not what happened. The links posted here that delve into the judgment show far more nuance than in OP.

Show quote history

I haven't read anything else, just reacting to the idea that someone with ADHD can be abusive to female colleagues and use this as an excuse.

Sirzy · 10/03/2026 17:22

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Why? In a film it is people making a decision that that term is fine to use.

When someone has Tourette’s it’s that persons disability meaning they have no control over what comes out of their mouth.

why is the controlled, planned for one fine but not the uncontrolled?

JHound · 10/03/2026 17:21

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ByQuaintAzureWasp · 10/03/2026 17:20

FacingtheSun · 10/03/2026 10:36

I think you’re confused. There was no ‘Tourette’s case’, it was an awards show where, unfortunately the right of people of colour not to be subjected to racial slurs clashed with the equal right of a person with a disability to not have to be sequestered because of it. The controversy was more about why the BBC didn’t delete the term from the broadcast, which wasn’t live.

Well put